


like pretty lights

by wildestdreams



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Fluff, Growing Up, Kid Fic, M/M, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-01
Updated: 2018-02-24
Packaged: 2018-04-07 02:19:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 55,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4245762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wildestdreams/pseuds/wildestdreams
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which childhood best friends fall in love. </p><p>Ft. Louis and Harry as kids, teens, adults, and oldies.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. seven and nine

**Author's Note:**

  * For [blurred](https://archiveofourown.org/users/blurred/gifts).



> **please read:**
> 
> since i didn't have much time to write this fic as i wanted to during the exchange because time was running out, i decided to keep adding on to it slowly. i hope this is okay and that you guys like this au as much as i enjoyed writing it. this fic is not only inspired by the prompts that blurred gave me, but also "mary's song (oh my my my)" by taylor swift. i've been dying to write a fic version of that song since forever and im so glad i got to. if you haven't heard please do [now](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NLU0Psgdq9M). 
> 
> huge thanks to blurred for the prompts! 
> 
> title from "mary's song (oh my my my)" by taylor swift (no surprise there)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Hey, Lou, do you like me?” Harry asked the next morning after he’d gone over to the Tomlinson’s house and was up on the tree house with Louis.
> 
> Louis looked up at Harry for a moment over his paper. He was drawing a makeshift map of the sea so that they could go on sail that day and try to get the treasure before the pirates could. He seemed to contemplate over Harry’s question, probably confused as to why Harry was even asking and nodded eventually. “Sure, yeah,” he said.
> 
> “Oh, okay,” Harry said, nodding a few times to let it sink in. And it wasn’t like Harry never had a clue that he did, but it just felt different for some reason. He somehow couldn’t stop thinking about the kissing in Titanic. Without thinking it over again, Harry asked, “Will you kiss me, Louis?”
> 
> or
> 
> Harry was seven and Louis was nine and Harry looked at Louis like the stars that shine in the sky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> big thanks to [alexis](http://skyebyrd.tumblr.com/) for being beta!  
>   
> [fic page](http://softasurcheek.tumblr.com/lpl) // [playlist](http://8tracks.com/wildest-dreams/like-pretty-lights) // [post](http://softasurcheek.tumblr.com/post/124422367685/fic-like-pretty-lights-author-wildestdreams)

** prologue **

Harry had his eyes covered as he stood in front of the big bark of the tree at the park while Liam quickly hid somewhere. “One...two...three...four...five…,” Harry counted slowly, hoping Liam was hiding in a place super easy to find so that he could win this round of the game because Liam won the last _three_. Harry had no idea how that kept happening.

As soon as Harry was about to shout, “Ready or not, here I come,” something hit him so hard on the stomach that he toppled to the side from the impact and fell to the ground. Harry squinted, confused as to what hit him, when the pain shot down on his knee and he let out a desperate sob, eyes widening with tears when he saw the cut. It was stinging and bleeding steadily. But what hit him? Harry looked around and his tear-filled eyes narrowed in on the soccer ball a few feet away. So, that was the _culprit_. Harry glared at the ball super hard, not knowing where it came from, but hated that it did.

“Hey -- hey, sorry,” someone shouted. Harry looked up, wiping at his eyes, though the tears kept falling. It was a boy about Harry’s age, but maybe a little older, and he was running over to Harry with wide, concerned eyes. “I’m sorry. I kicked the ball...I didn’t mean to hurt you.” Harry continued to stare at the boy, noticing how blue his eyes were -- almost as blue and shiny as the sky.

“Yeah,” Harry eventually managed, snapping out of his thoughts. “Well it hurt me anyway.” He pointed to the cut on his leg to show proof and the boy bit his lip with worry.

“That looks _really_ bad,” the boy said before looking up at Harry. “But I can help. I’ve got band-aids in my pocket and even a packet of alcohol swabs.”

“Why do you carry that stuff in your pocket?” was the first thing Harry said in confusion. Harry’s mom always kept those in the first aid kit at home in the top shelf in the kitchen.

“My mom’s a nurse,” the boy said, bending down beside Harry. “And I’m always out and about playing and roughhousing as she says, so my mom packs this stuff in my pockets just in case if I get hurt. It comes in handy -- like right now.” The boy beamed as he took out the band-aid and alcohol swab from his pocket. Harry looked over the boy’s shoulder and noticed two other boys, both of whom were looking over at Harry and the boy patiently. They must be his friends -- which reminded Harry -- where was Liam and was he still hiding? He probably wouldn’t come out until Harry found him. He was that _intense_ about hide and seek. Then again, Liam had always been a bit stubborn about winning at every game he played. He’s lucky Harry was not a sore loser.

“This might sting,” the boy suddenly says, snapping Harry out of his daze. Harry looks down at as the boy took out the small alcohol swab and slowly put it down on Harry’s cut.

Harry shrieked out loud, crying and panting as the pain intensified from the sting of the alcohol swab. “Don’t do it -- don’t -- _no more_.”

“Alright, alright,” the boy said, taking it away and placing it back in the packet. “It’s already done and it’s clean. I’ll just put the band-aid here, ok?” Harry nodded, sniffling a bit as the boy placed a Spiderman band-aid on his knees, covering it up. “There we go...all better now.”

“Th -- thanks,” Harry stuttered.

“You’re welcome,” the boy said, standing up and brushing his shorts before extending his hand towards Harry. “I’m Louis.”

Harry stared at Louis’ hand for a moment before taking it and pulling himself up. “I’m Harry.”

“Harry,” Louis repeated with a small smile. “Sorry for hurting you, Harry.”

“It’s okay,” Harry replied, his voice small and shy all of a sudden.

Louis smiled at him warmly and was just about to say something else when, “ _Harry_ , what are you doing?” Liam asked, charging over with his hands on his haps. “I’ve been waiting by the bushes for you for, like, ever.”

“I fell,” Harry told him, stretching his leg out to show Liam the neat band-aid.

“Are you alright?” Liam asked, quickly glancing over at Louis curiously.

“I’m fine,” Harry told him. “Louis helped. He hit the ball.”

“Hi,” Louis waved to Liam.

“Hi,” Liam waved back. “I know you from school. I’m in Zayn’s class.”

“Are you?” Louis grinned. “Zayn’s over there.” Louis pointed out the two boys who were waiting for Louis and waved them over. “Hey, Zayn! Niall! Come over here.” The two boys ran over and Harry watched as they said hi to Liam, recognizing him from school since they were all in the same grade. Harry wasn’t in elementary school yet. He’d only just finished pre-school and would be starting in September, so he felt a little left out.

That was until Louis turned to Harry with a bright smile. “Want to play soccer with us?” he asked. “You can be on my team. Unless your knee is still hurting you -- in that case you can be my hype boy.”

Harry smiled at him timidly. “I can be your hype boy, but what exactly does a hype boy do?”

Louis slung his arm around Harry as the other three walked towards the field again. “You just have to cheer me on and be on my side. Just a super enthusiastic friend.”

Harry latched on to the word friend and never let it go.

** one **

Harry had turned seven exactly one month ago and he’d thought he’d crossed a milestone.

Turning seven was no simple matter, at least not for him even though his friends still called him the _baby_ of the group no matter how old he turned every year. Harry had thought with his new age and new found knowledge of _adult_ things, he’d have more freedom. Alas, he didn’t. He couldn’t go down to the park alone, even though it was only five blocks away, nor could he ride his bike past their block, which really sucked because all of his friends left him back and he had to wait until they came back to ride with them again.

It was so unfair because Northridge wasn’t even that _big_. Harry looked at the map of Waunakee, Wisconsin, which was where they lived, and Northridge was literally a teeny, tiny part of it, so why wasn’t he allowed to run amuck like all of his friends did? They always came back and told Harry about all the _cool stuff_ they saw and all the _fun things_ they did and it was sad being the only one left out, especially when all he did was pathetically ride around the block alone and look out for his friends.

“You’re not old enough, babe,” his mom said when he asked for the hundredth time whether or not he could just bike down to the park. “I can’t take that risk. Not unless an adult or Gemma is going with you.”

“But no one’s mom or dad is going, mom,” Harry whined. “They’re all busy and letting their kids have some _freedom_. How can you expect me to live like this?”

Gemma started snickering from her spot at the kitchen table where she was doing her homework. Harry glared at her. Ever since she started being able to do multiplication in her head without actually counting or writing it down, she started thinking she was the smartest girl on the planet. _As if_. She was only in fourth grade and Harry thought it was annoying whenever she asked him what eight times nine was because he really didn’t know. Then she’d tease _because_ he didn’t know. It was honestly so irritating.

“What?” he asked her, crossing his arms across his chest.

“Nothing,” she shrugged. “Just funny because you’re being so dramatic.”

That spurred Harry on to get even angrier. “I am not being dramatic,” he practically shouted, throwing his hands back. “Mind your business, Gemma.”

“ _You_ were the one that started talking to me, so why don’t you mind _your_ business?” she spat back.

“I can’t when you’re sitting there laughing at me like a know-it-all.”

“Not my fault you’re _stupid_.”

“I am not stupid. I got a _ninety two_ on my last spelling test!”

“What did you spell, like, cat?”

Harry was just about to barrel back with a response when his mom spoke up. “Alright, you two,” she shouted over them before quieting down. “Enough. Gemma, do your homework. Harry -- Harry, I can’t let you go there alone. Can’t you just go to Louis’s across the street?”

Harry slumped against the fridge and shrugged. That was the only thing he was allowed to do alone -- walk across the street to Louis’s house, which was three houses down. He didn’t mind because he begged and cried for his mom to let him do that much alone since he had to see Louis at least once a day and there wasn’t always someone available to take him.

“I don’t know,” he said. “Louis called me a little while ago and told me that he wanted to go to the park.”

“Why don’t you go on over to his house and ask him to stay in?” his mom asked. “Or ask him to come over.”

“Because Liam, Zayn and Niall are headed to the park, too. Because their moms let them go out alone.”

“They’re all older than you,” Gemma reminded, even though she was told to not butt in and mind her business. Does she ever listen?

She did have a point, though. Louis was nine, the oldest, and Liam, Zayn, and Niall were all eight. It was both a blessing and a curse that they were his best friends since as long as he could remember. A blessing because everyone thought he was cool to have older friends, especially Louis, who was super popular in their neighborhood, and a curse because he was hardly allowed to do the same things they were like be out alone.

When Harry saw his mom go back to working on lunch, he knew the conversation was over and if he tried to say anything else, he’d get in trouble. So, he sighed and walked over to the telephone in the living room, picking it up and dialing Louis’s number, which he had memorized.

“Hello,” a quiet, feminine voice answered.

“Hi, this is Harry, can I speak to Louis, please?”

Harry heard whoever picked up (probably one of Louis’s little sisters because he had a million) shriek Louis’s name, calling him to pick up the phone. A few moments later, Louis answered.

“Hello!”

“Hey, Lou. It’s Harry.”

“Hiya, Harry. Did you ask your mom?”

Harry bit his lip, feeling nervous all of a sudden. He really hated saying no to Louis because Louis was always so encouraging and optimistic. He hated being a let down. “I did. She said no -- again. I really tried, Louis.”

He could hear Louis sigh on the other end. “Well, I guess I’ll have to take matters into my own hands.”

“What?” Harry asked, shifting on the couch so that his two feet were propped up on a pillow.

“We have to go to the park, Harry,” Louis said. “Liam’s dad got him a new soccer ball and you know how I lost mine and haven’t been able to play in forever. So, I’m coming over.”

“Um, okay,” Harry said tentatively. “I’ll wait outside for you.”

“Alright, see you in a bit.”

With that, Louis hung up, leaving Harry confused. He put the phone back and walked outside, closing the door behind him and sitting down on the front porch steps. It was colored a shade of light blue and was pretty old, and Harry was busy tracing the cracks on the steps when Louis bounced on over. Harry looked up at him with a smile.

“What are we doing?” Harry asked Louis.

“Convincing your mom,” Louis replied, walking up the steps.

“But I told you that I already tried,” Harry reminded him.

“I’m just going to give it another shot,” Louis said with a confident smile, entering the house and heading straight for the kitchen where Anne and Gemma were. Harry followed him, scurried footsteps and a worried expression.

Anne looked over at the two boys with a smile once they walked in. “Hi, Louis. You doing alright?” Anne asked.

“Yes, Ms. Cox,” Louis said in his best _adult_ voice. It was the voice he used when he spoke to grown ups and it gets him off the hook for everything. It was a talent and Harry always studied Louis to his utmost ability to learn and get the hang of it so he could do it, too. “Are you having a good afternoon?”

“I am, yes,” Anne beamed, obviously taken by Louis’ adult voice. Harry was so amazed, watching as Louis made small talk with his mother and then his sister, who was in Louis’ class. They spoke about their homework and the new project they were assigned. Once the small talk subsided, Louis looked over at Harry with a gleam in his eye.

“So, Ms. Cox, did you hear Liam’s dad got him a new soccer ball?”

Anne shook her head no in response. “I’m afraid I haven’t.”

“Well, he did and it’s really important that Harry’s there when we all first play with it since it’s been weeks since my own ball deflated. Can’t he come out with us?”

“I’m sorry, Louis, but he can’t. I’ve got some work to do and Gemma can’t walk him since she got sick with allergies and has homework to catch up on.”

“What if I walked him?” Louis asked next. “I’m as old as Gemma, so you should be able to trust me, too.”

“He’s right,” Harry screamed suddenly when the realization hit him. “Louis and Gemma are the same age and Gemma’s allowed to walk me, so Louis should be as well.”

Harry’s mom looked stumped for a moment, probably not expecting what Louis and Harry were suggesting because they did have a point. It only seemed fair and logical because Louis was practically a part of the family and Anne trusted Louis very much; she was friends with Louis’ mom, Jay, and they met up a few times a month with the Zayn, Liam and Niall’s moms for book club.

“C’mon mom,” Harry pushed again. “We can even do the buddy system like at school.” To prove his point, he grabbed Louis’ hand and held it, showing his mom. “I’ll hold on tight the entire way.”

Louis nodded eagerly, swinging their entwined hands back and forth while shooting Anne his most charming smile. Anne finally let out a sigh and smiled softly. “Fine,” she said, trying to talk over Harry and Louis jumping up in down in cheers for their small, but big victory. “But you have to be home before five, Harry, got it? And Louis has to walk you back.”

“Okay, okay,” Harry nodded, running forward to give his mom a quick hug before grabbing Louis’ hand again and rushing out the door.

The two boys stumbled out onto the sidewalk, wide grins on their faces and heavy breathing due to their jumping up and down. Louis swung Harry’s hand back and forth freely, their sweaty fingers tangled together, as they walked.

“That wasn’t so hard, now was it?” Louis asked.

“Only because you came and helped,” Harry beamed at him.

Harry really admired Louis -- ever since they were young, Harry had looked at Louis in a different light than all the other boys. It wasn’t that Liam, Zayn and Niall weren’t great friends because they were. The five of them played together all the time -- ever since that day Louis accidentally hit Harry and they all met. Every day after that, they continued to meet up and soon became best friends. After that, their parents met and became friends as well. It seemed like fate to Harry and he often thought about it. What if he was done counting by the time Louis hit the ball and already walked away? What if Louis never hit the ball in his direction? What if Harry never went to the park that day? What if it had rained?

Harry wouldn’t have met Louis and that would have sucked because ever since they met, Harry has been completely enamored with the boy. There was just something about that set Louis apart from everyone else. Louis was a great person to just, like, sit and kind of, like, just admire what he was like. And Harry did. He watched the older boy while they played, leading the pack and setting all the rules, without anyone questioning because Louis had that aura about him. He watched him charm the pants off of adults, get whatever he wanted and he watched him capture the attention of everyone he met.

People were drawn to Louis and they liked him and wanted to know him, but Harry was his best friend. He couldn’t believe it himself sometimes. He’d thought that maybe Louis would get bored with Harry eventually or realize that he was much too young to be hanging around, but that never happened. Louis stuck by Harry’s side and Harry continued to look at Louis like the stars that shone at night outside of his window, like pretty lights.

**★**

“Ta da,” Louis presented theatrically, waving his hands and wiggling his fingers about as he showed Harry his new tree house, sitting high atop on the biggest tree in his backyard. Harry’s green eyes shined in excitement as he hopped from one foot to the other, eager and excited.

It made Louis happy that Harry was the first friend he showed his new safe haven to. Mark, Louis’ stepdad, had been promising Louis and his little sister, Lottie, this tree house for ages and Louis almost thought they weren’t going to get it any time soon because their new baby sister, Fizzy, was just born. But yesterday after Louis got back home from school and ran out to the backyard for a kickabout with his ball, he saw the tree house. He’d shrieked and ran inside to his parents only to find them busy with the new baby. Louis jumped up and down, screaming silently before hugging them both tightly and running outside to play on it.

Louis knew that Lottie, who was only 2, still couldn’t properly play in the tree house so it was essentially just Louis’. And Louis intended to take full advantage of that and bring his friends around as much as possible to create a secret club up there, like a society or a man cave of some sort. It was going to hold all of his favorite toys and Louis was planning on writing down rules and such on a piece of paper and hang it on the walls, making it all very official. But before he showed it to any of his other friends, he decided to show Harry first, simply because Harry was Louis’ best friend.

Sure, Harry was two whole years younger, and still the same pudgy little kid that Louis met two years ago except a tad bit taller, but Harry was so great. He listened to everything Louis said, followed Louis around everywhere so Louis was never lonely, and looked up to him. It made Louis feel important and so, so fond of Harry, especially when he insisted on holding Louis’ hand everywhere they went while also bouncing up and down since he wasn’t used to this freedom of being out on his own. Louis felt like his role model almost, like he was someone Harry admired.

“I love it, Lou,” Harry exclaimed, still jumping around. “It’s so big. It looks like a castle. Can we go play on it?”

“Yeah, of course,” Louis said, leading the way and climbing up the rickety ladder, going slowly. He still wasn’t quite used to it and often felt scared that he’d fall. “I haven’t done much since i only got it yesterday, but I managed to move about half of my toys up here.”

“I’ll help you move the rest. We can get the boys to help, too,” Harry offered, following behind.

Once they got to the top, Louis sat back, organizing his toys while Harry looked around, studying every corner and the views from the different windows. He was running around in circles so much and Louis worried he might get dizzy and pass out before they could play. Eventually, Harry plopped down beside Louis and they started looking through all of Louis’ toys. When Harry pulled up Louis’ steering wheel toy, which didn’t do much other than let him pretend he was driving, Harry’s eyes brightened, which it often did when he got an idea.

“We should play ship,” Harry said. “Pretend we’re on a voyage and we’re sailing through the oceans and have to fight off pirates with one eyes and get the treasure before they could.”

“Yeah, that sounds great,” Louis nodded, excitedly, already getting up on his feet and taking the steering wheel from Harry and setting it at the front near a window. “I’ll be Captain Louis.”

“I can be co-captain Styles,” Harry exclaimed. “Or, maybe I could be a pirate.” Harry practiced by closing one of his eyes and curling the side of his lip up to look menacing, but it didn’t work since his dimple was still there and it only made him look like a baby Tarzan.

Louis contemplated a bit before nodding. “Both sound very good. I think I have some caps in my room and a toy sword I got years ago for my birthday. I’ll go get them real quick. Stay here.”

Harry nodded, settling over where the other toys were to look for more things they might need. Louis crawled out of the tree house, quickly trying to climb down the ladder, until his foot missed one of the ledges and he went tumbling down with a loud scream.

“Louis,” Harry shouted, looking down at him with wide, anxious eyes.

Louis felt like the wind was knocked out of him -- that was the scariest fall _ever_. His heart was jack rabbiting in his chest and his elbow was stinging profusely. He winced in pain and tried to sit up, only to yelp when he felt the spot on his elbow burn. He turned it over and saw the cut and scrunched up his face at the blood, trickling down his arm. That was when Harry appeared beside Louis, sitting down next to him after climbing down the ladder.

“Are you alright?” Harry asked until he got a look at the cut. “Oh no -- you’re hurt, Lou!”

“Yeah, it’s alright,” Louis said, trying to keep a brave face in front of Harry despite the fact that it was hurting a lot. Harry looked like he was freaking out more than Louis. “Just need a band-aid.”

“Have you got one in your pocket?” Harry asked, still not looking convinced.

Louis felt around his pockets for the band-aids that his mom usually gave him, but they were empty, which made sense. Louis’ mom had been super busy with Fizzy since Fizzy kept her up so much with all the crying. She hasn’t been paying as much attention to Lottie and Louis. It was Mark who took care of them mostly nowadays -- gave them meals, took them to school and tucked them in bed later at night. He didn’t know to put band-aids in Louis’ pockets. They could go upstairs and ask Louis’ mom, but she’d been trying to put Fizzy to sleep for ages. Fizzy had been fussy all day and kept refusing to sleep, so Louis would just feel guilty if they bothered her some more.

They’d have to do it on their own.

“Harry,” Louis said, looking at the other boy, who nodded eagerly to show he was listening. “Can you go into my kitchen and grab me a band-aid? It’s in the first aid kit, which should be on the counter next to the toaster. It’s got everything in it and it’s red and blue, so just bring that.”

“Alright,” Harry said, jumping to his feet and running inside. He appeared back a few minutes later, tears brimming in his eyes.

Louis looked at him alarmed. “Harry, what’s wrong?”

“I can’t get it,” Harry sobbed. “I’m so sorry. You hurt yourself -- you’re bleeding, but I couldn’t get it. It’s not on the counter; it’s on the shelf on top. I tried to climb up, but the chair was rickety and I couldn’t.”

Louis sighed, feeling bad because he was the one who was hurt, but Harry was crying like it was him instead. “It’s alright, Harry. You don’t have to cry.”

“I’m so sorry,” Harry said, wiping at his face, even though his expression was still crumpled and frustrated. “I brought you tissues, though. I got a lot. I can help wipe it.”

“That’s fine,” Louis said with an encouraging smile as Harry sat beside him, taking Louis’ elbow and wiping ever so softly at Louis’ wound. He helped clean the blood until it was no longer bleeding as excessively and Louis’ mom eventually came down to help him bandage it up.

Since that day, Harry started carrying around band-aids with him, too.

**★**

Louis walked briskly towards the park, Harry keeping up with him with a bounce in his step while swinging their tightly clasped hands back and forth between them. He was singing some new song he’d heard on the radio except not the whole song, just the two lines he could remember, _over and over_ again. Louis had liked it at first, but after five minutes of walking with Harry, he was getting sick of it and already felt himself getting a bit agitated.

He’d had a tough day. Fizzy was crying all night, which meant he hadn’t gotten a good night of sleep. They ran out of his favorite cereal and Mark said he had to wait because they weren’t going grocery shopping till tomorrow, so Louis was stuck with _Corn Flakes,_ of all cereals. And Lottie was hogging the TV all day, so Louis missed Arthur _and_ Dragon Tales. All in all, it wasn’t a good day, and Louis was hoping that once they got to the park, it’d turn around. Louis and Harry were meeting Liam, Zayn and Niall there and a few other classmates of theirs as well.

“Walk a little faster, Harry,” Louis said, interrupting Harry’s singing and tugging him forward. Harry shifted forward, stumbling a bit, but went right back to singing and skipping again much to Louis’ dismay. He wanted to roll his eyes because this kid had no worry in the world -- no annoying little sisters or lack of cereal. He was just moseying on about and it made Louis feel bitter and he had no idea why.

When they got to the park they saw that the other boys were standing around and waiting for them and it made Louis pull Harry a bit harder. He just wanted to play some soccer and run around a bit to let off a little steam. As they got closer, though, Louis saw his classmate and friend, Ryan, squint his eyes at first before bursting out laughing.

“What’s this?” he asked, motioning down to Harry and Louis’ hands, still clasped tight together. Harry tripped a bit before pulling himself up and Louis didn’t really know how to answer. It didn’t seem like Ryan was going to understand Harry’s mom’s deal.

Ryan’s friend, Tyler, seemed to also find this funny. “Why’re you holding hands for?” he asked, snickering. “Didn’t realize ol’ Styles here needed a babysitter to hold his hand while walking to the park.”

Harry glared at Tyler, which wasn’t all that intimidating, instead making him look like a very angry frog. Liam, Niall and Zayn just looked uncomfortable as their other friend, George commented as well.

“Didn’t realize Tomlinson was such a pansy, either.” The three of them laughed like it was the funniest joke made and this time Louis was glaring.

“I’m not a pansy,” he muttered, letting go of Harry’s hand a bit more rough than necessary. “We’ll see who’s a pansy when I’m kicking all three of your butts.”

“Yeah, alright,” George said, still laughing as they headed into the park. Louis tried not to turn around and see if Harry was following or not. He wasn’t Harry’s babysitter nor was he a pansy. Harry was practically eight. He didn’t need Louis to look over him so much.

The boys played soccer, four against four, until Zayn announced that he had to head home for dinner. Realizing it was getting late and it wouldn’t be fair to have a team of two against one, especially with Harry, who was particularly awful and had been on the same team as Zayn. So, they all decided to meet up later and disbanded.

“See ya later, Tommo,” Ryan called out as he left with Tyler. “Make sure baby Styles is home safe and holds your hand tight and doesn’t run off too far.”

Louis rolled his eyes and turned to look at Harry, finding the other boy still looking upset. He hadn’t so much so as stood near Louis the entire game, instead straying and not putting in much effort.

“Let’s go,” Louis said to him, not even sparing him a look and walking towards their houses. If Harry was going to be difficult and not understanding then Louis wasn’t going to be so helpful either.

Harry quickly caught up with him, grabbing onto Louis’ hand, which made him jerk back and pull apart. “What are you doing, Lou?” Harry asked, looking bewildered. “My mom’s going to be so mad -- we don’t have to listen to those guys. They won’t get it.”

“No, Harry,” Louis shook his head and continued to walk, Harry trying to keep up beside him. “You can walk with me without holding my hand.”

“But Louis -- my mom!”

“She won’t say anything.”

“If she does, I won’t be allowed out anymore.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I do!”

“Harry, stop, okay? If you don’t stop, I will beat you up,” Louis threatened. He’d never actually said those words to Harry before, but his older cousin, Caleb, would always say it just to scare Louis since he was bigger and was obsessed with WWE. Sometimes he actually did try to hit Louis and they’d wrestle around and it was always so infuriating because Caleb would always win. And since Harry was smaller, Louis thought it wouldn’t hurt to just scare Harry a little. He was, of course, not actually going to hurt him.

Harry looked like he bought it. He looked terrified and on the brink of tears as he pouted softly and stormed off without Louis, making Louis panic as he ran up to catch up with him. “You don’t have to follow me,” Harry said.

“I’m not. We live right across from each other.”

“Whatever. Just walk the other way since you’re so ashamed to be seen with me.”

“Harry, you know it’s not that.”

“Right,” Harry muttered, not sounding convinced. They walked in silence for a while and that was when the guilt started to take over. Harry was right -- they didn’t have to listen to those guys. Ryan, Tyler and George weren’t even Louis’ proper friends, but Harry was Louis’ best friend and he needed him right now.

Louis slowly reached over and tangled his fingers with Harry’s, making the younger boy look up in surprise and a guarded expression. “I’m sorry,” Louis said to him softly. “I’ll give you my last popsicle stick at home to make it up to you.”

Harry grinned brightly, his dimples sinking in, and Louis fought the urge to reach over and poke them.

**★**

Harry shoved a handful of popcorn into his mouth, eyes trained on the TV screen, watching Jack and Rose standing together at the edge of the huge ship a.k.a. the _Titanic_. Gemma was sat beside him, watching with her utmost concentration, and not even stopping for bites of popcorn. Harry thought it was a little strange how she couldn’t stop cooing every time the two characters acted mushy with each other.

Harry was more so interested in the ship aspect of it because it became a regular favorite game with him and Louis whenever he went over to play in the tree house. They even included all the boys and gave them roles within the ship and made it all official with hand drawn signs and maps and more toys, like a compass, anchor, rope, etc. They’d all gone shopping with Zayn’s mom to buy those because it was essential they had it in their ship otherwise it wouldn’t be as real.

“Hush,” Gemma said to Harry when he chewed on another handful of popcorn a bit too loudly. “You’re so noisy. Either keep it down or leave.”

Harry glared at her, but Gemma paid no mind, instead focused back on the screen. Harry turned to look back and widened his eyes when he saw Jack and Rose kissing. Involuntarily, his cheeks started to flush and felt warm as he continued to eat. Gemma was cooing again, but Harry found it odd. He’d only ever seen parents kissing each other and thought it was just a thing they did -- not anyone else.

“Gemma, how come they’re kissing?” Harry asked.

Gemma looked at Harry like he was the dumbest person she knew. “Because they like each other, _duh_.”

Huh.

So, you kissed people you liked. That was interesting because then everybody would be kissing everyone they liked, which would be a lot of people. Harry liked a lot of people, but he didn’t go around kissing them all.

“Why?” Harry asked Gemma with a frown. “Can’t they just tell each other?”

Gemma rolled her eyes. “You kiss someone you like when you _really_ like them, I don’t know. Stop bugging me.” She turned up the volume some more, leaving Harry more perplexed. He didn’t quite feel that welcome anymore, though, and got off the couch and walked over to the kitchen where his parents were sitting, talking over a cup of tea.

“You alright, H?” his dad asked, looking over at him.

Harry nodded before deciding to get their input on the whole kissing situation. “Mom, dad,” he started, walking over to their table and pressing his fingertips on the ledge to lean up since he still wasn’t tall enough. “Do people kiss when they like each other?”

Harry’s mom looked amused, raising her eyebrows at him before glancing over at Harry’s dad real quick. Harry’s dad looked just as amused, chuckling at Harry. “I suppose, yeah,” he said. “Why’re you asking?”

“No reason,” Harry said slowly with a sigh, pushing away from the table with a shrug.

**★**

“Hey, Lou, do you like me?” Harry asked the next morning after he’d gone over to the Tomlinson’s house and was up on the tree house with Louis.

Louis looked up at Harry for a moment over his paper. He was drawing a makeshift map of the sea so that they could go on sail that day and try to get the treasure before the pirates could. He seemed to contemplate over Harry’s question, probably confused as to why Harry was even asking and nodded eventually. “Sure, yeah,” he said.

“Oh, okay,” Harry said, nodding a few times to let it sink in.

 _Louis liked Harry._ Wow.

And it wasn’t like Harry never had a clue that he did, but it just felt different for some reason. He somehow couldn’t stop thinking about the kissing in Titanic. When he’d wandered back in the living room to continue to watch the movie yesterday, Harry noticed Jack and Rose kept kissing over and over and it was like Harry couldn’t unsee it anymore. He was so curious and baffled by this concept -- he thought about it all night -- thought about all the people he liked and who he’d kiss.

Without thinking it over again, Harry asked, “Will you kiss me, Louis?”

Harry held his breath, not missing how quiet the tree house got for a moment while Louis froze, his fingers stilled over the paper. Louis looked up at Harry again slowly and had a confused expression on his face, features scrunched up and lost.

“No,” Louis eventually said. “Why would I go and do that?”

“Because you like me,” Harry reminded him without missing a beat. “That’s what you do when you like someone. I saw it on Titanic last night with Gemma -- she told me so.”

“Gemma’s just being mushy,” Louis told Harry, shrugging it off. “Just because you like someone doesn’t mean you have to go around kissing them -- then you’d be kissing a lot of people.”

Harry felt his heart sinking and he couldn’t figure out why. Why was it such a big deal? Louis liked him and Harry liked Louis. It should be as simple as that as it was for Jack and Rose (not too simple, though, because Jack ended up dying in the end). Harry tried not to pout as Louis went back to drawing, completely over and done with the conversation.

He waited a couple of beats before saying, “I just don’t see the big deal.”

“With what?” Louis asked.

“Kissing me!” Harry exclaimed feeling frustrated already. He knew Louis remembered, but he just wanted to make Harry mad.

“Why do you want me to kiss you?” Louis asked again as if Harry didn’t just explain this.

Harry groaned, feeling like a child about to throw a fit for not getting what he wanted. “Because it just makes sense to do so.”

“Not really, no,” Louis shook his head. “Let it go, Harry. You can kiss, like, Liam or something. Maybe Niall.”

“I don’t want to kiss them,” Harry muttered.

“Don’t you like them?”

“I do like them. I like them loads.”

“So, then kiss them,” Louis snickered.

“You’re being so rude.”

“I’m just telling you that it’s silly.”

“It’s not silly. Stop saying it is.”

“Fine, fine,” Louis succumbed. “I won’t say it’s silly. Can we stop talking about, though? I want to start playing.” He held up his finished map with a proud grin, but Harry tried his best to not look impressed no matter how good it was. He got up and moved to the front of the ship, ready to start playing, as Louis wanted.

The two of them played the entire day, fighting a long battle for the treasure chest and then eventually getting it. However, Harry’s heart wasn’t nearly in it as much as Louis would have liked and Harry knew that, which was why he did it even more. Later on that day when they were getting ready to leave, Harry was the first to climb and wait at the bottom for Louis, who was probably cleaning everything up. Harry was planning on being super short and dismissive because he wanted Louis to know he was mad at him and he was going to make sure Louis knew. Usually, Harry liked giving Louis a hug goodbye, but today he was getting none of that. Maybe a wave if he was lucky.

By the time Louis came down, Harry sighed loudly like it was such a pain to wait for him. Louis gave him a hard look before groaning out loud and moving to stand in front of Harry. Harry looked up at him in confusion, but before he could say anything, Louis beat him to it.

“I’ll do it, okay? I’ll kiss you. Just stand still.”

Harry’s eyes widened at that, not really sure if he should jump up in excitement or try to stay still as Louis asked him. Louis took a few deep breaths and stared at Harry for a long moment while Harry hopped from one foot to the other in excitement.

“Stand still,” Louis reminded him, grabbing Harry by the shoulders so that he’d relax. “Can’t kiss you if you’re jumping around all over the place.”

Harry nodded his head. “Okay, okay.”

Louis finally looked into Harry’s green eyes, leaning forward slowly, inch by inch. Harry braced himself, not really sure what to do with his mouth or hands. And the more Louis leaned forward, the more Harry started to feel a little nervous and dare he say it -- scared, too. Harry realized right then that he wasn’t actually ready for this; it was too much and Louis being this close was making him feel funny and dizzy. Just as Louis’ mouth was about to reach Harry’s, Harry pulled away and ran.

Louis almost fell forward from the shock and steadied himself, glaring at Harry. “Harry!” he yelled, sounding annoyed.

“Sorry, Lou,” Harry giggled, already halfway out the yard. “Maybe next time!”

“There won’t be a next time,” Louis told him, despite the smile forming on his lips. “That was it and you just botched it.”

“We’ll see about that, Lou. Talk to you tomorrow!”

Louis waved at Harry, smiling as he watched him skip back home.

**★**

It wasn’t like Louis was actively thinking about the fact that Harry wanted to kiss him, but -- he was actively thinking about the fact that Harry wanted to kiss him.

The whole thing was so _weird_.

Kissing in itself was so weird. Louis _hated_ when people slobbered their mouths all over his face as a means of showing affection. As if. It was unappealing and Louis didn’t really see the hype. He thought it was overrated, but apparently Harry didn’t. Harry was hell-bent on Louis kissing him that day only to run away from him exactly when Louis was about to give in. Since then, Louis had been sort of wary whenever Harry came over to play. He’d wondered if Harry was still thinking about the kissing thing.

Should Harry even be concerned about kissing people?

He was only seven years old. Louis wasn’t thinking about kissing anyone and he was _nine_. A whole two years older. Then again, Harry had always been wiser than his age. That might be it. So, it made no sense as to why it was bothering Louis now, too. It was like a nagging thought behind his head that he couldn’t get rid of whenever he saw the curly haired boy, casually playing and hanging around as if he hadn’t asked Louis to kiss him just a few days back to the point of tears.

It was a Saturday afternoon and Louis and Harry were up on the tree house. Harry had brought over this new play dough set he got and it had all the colors, so they were making shapes and turning them into things like compasses for the ship.

Louis kept glancing over at Harry, hard at work on his anchor, and wondered if he were to just kiss Harry, what would happen.

Nothing major would happen, of course because Harry had asked for it, but Harry also ran away, so. But Louis just _needed_ to do it, just so he could say he did if Harry ever turned it around on him and so that the nagging thought in the back of his head would go away. It wasn’t because he was curious now or anything. Nope. Not that. Kissing was stupid.

“Hey, Harry,” Louis said slowly.

“Yeah?” Harry asked, not looking up.

Louis sighed. “Harry.”

“What?” Harry asked, giggling as he continued to work, but still not turning towards Louis.

“Oh my god, Harry,” Louis insisted, getting frustrated.

Harry finally looked up and Louis quickly bent down, pressing his lips firmly against Harry’s cheek before he could second guess or hesitate. When he looked back at Harry, Harry’s green eyes were wide with shock, but not in a bad way. His cheeks were turning a shade of rosy pink and his lips were parted in surprise in the shape of an O.

“Gotcha,” Louis said smugly, turning back to his play dough as casually as he could.

Harry didn’t respond, just pressed his lips together and turned back to his play dough, rather stiff and shy. A few hours later when they were done making their shapes and objects, Harry was cleaning up the play dough, getting ready to leave for lunch. Louis helped, packing everything away and putting it away in Harry’s Rugrats backpack. Once done, Harry strapped his backpack on and got up on his knees.

“Are you coming over after lunch?” Louis asked, looking at Harry. They were face level and Harry’s cheeks were still pink from earlier. They hadn’t talked about it, but Louis had figured Harry would bring it up later or something because he was feeling too embarrassed about it now. It wasn’t even a big deal, gosh.

Harry shrugged, scratching his nose nervously. “Maybe. Do you want to come over instead? We could watch the new movies I got at the store.”

“Depends on what they are,” Louis said contemplatively. “Call me and let me know?”

“Okay,” Harry nodded, shuffling out to leave. He stopped mid way and turned to look back at Louis. “Hey, Lou.”

“Yeah?” Louis asked, looking up.

Harry leaned over, pressing his lips softly against Louis’ lips, a simple brush, before pulling back and smiling, his entire face red now. “Gotcha.”

Before Louis could form a coherent thought, Harry was already halfway down the ladder.

What a menace.


	2. sixteen and eighteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was slightly brisk out and Louis held on to his jean jacket tight while ducking under a store’s awning. Harry slowly followed, standing beside him, and watched as he pulled out a cigarette from his pocket, quickly lighting it up. 
> 
> “You don’t mind, do you?” Louis asked, smoke billowing out of his mouth and nostrils.
> 
> Harry shook his head, eyes glazing over a bit as he watched Louis’ lips pull on the cigarette before exhaling. It was intoxicating just watching him. Second hand smoke was said to be bad for the health, but not watching Louis smoke seemed impossible because he was so beautiful. 
> 
> “Hey, Lou,” Harry croaked out, his voice raspy from either the night air or his nerves. 
> 
> Louis hummed, glancing up at him with fluttering eyelashes and sea blue eyes. Harry smiled at him for a moment, leaning in close while Louis held the cigarette away, and kissed him. And yeah, this was miles different than that first kiss, but it only made Harry realize just how much he wanted it. Then again, he couldn’t remember a time in his life when he didn’t want to kiss Louis. 
> 
> or 
> 
> Harry was sixteen and suddenly, he wasn't that little boy Louis used to see, but his eyes still shine like pretty lights.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this has been a long time coming. super sorry about not updating this, but i got well distracted with some other projects of mine. hopefully the quantity of this makes up for it. i liked how it turned out and hope you guys do, too!  
>   
> a huge thank you to all my betas: [neurtsy](http://neurtsy.tumblr.com/), [angel](http://angels-vevo.tumblr.com/), and [ranika](http://meagnesher.tumblr.com/). also thanks to [liz](http://thedarkestlarrie.tumblr.com/) and [alexis](skyebyrd.tumblr.com) for reading and helping me out with ideas/plot points!  
>   
> [fic page](http://softasurcheek.tumblr.com/lpl) // [playlist](http://8tracks.com/wildest-dreams/like-pretty-lights) // [post](http://softasurcheek.tumblr.com/post/143396663125/fic-like-pretty-lights-author-wildestdreams)

It was such a strange feeling to come back home after leaving it for some time. Everything felt different and Louis looked around wondering what it was, when actually it was _him_ that changed. Louis had left for college a year ago, exchanging the comfort of his home and the quiet neighborhood he grew up in with all of his friends for the hustle and bustle of New York City. And now he was back for the summer and he couldn’t quite tell what he was feeling because he definitely wasn’t the boy who’d left ten months ago.

“You excited, Lou?” Louis’ mom asked, turning to look at him from the driver’s seat.

Louis hummed in agreement because in a way, he was. Whatever he was feeling was good even if he couldn’t place it. He looked out the window as they passed by all the familiar streets and houses. It felt like a lifetime ago that he and his friends were ruling these streets with their bikes while playing cops and robbers and running off to the park whenever they got a chance. He’d have to call them as soon as he got home to meet up.

“The girls are so excited to see you,” Louis’ mom started to say.

“I’m excited to see them, too,” Louis said. “Have you heard from Mark at all? Do the girls go see him?”

“Yes, they do,” she replied. “A few times a week, actually. And he and I talk, but really only when it concerns you kids.”

Mark and his mom had gotten divorced just before Louis went off to college, which couldn’t have been timed worse. Louis had felt completely guilty just leaving his mom behind to take care of all the girls, even though he knew his grandparents and her friends were there to help, but still. It’d been awhile since Mark and his mom had gotten along -- every night ending with a fight -- so they decided it was better to separate. Louis called in everyday and spoke to her for as long as he could, asking for updates, and making sure everything was okay. With Mark not being in the house anymore, Louis felt like a lot of the responsibilities were handed over to him, but he couldn't even physically be there for them. There were so many things to be dealt with and his poor mom had to go through it without him there.

However, a year into it now and she was doing a lot better, as were the girls. They’d settled into a routine and it worked. However, this cut into the family budget and Louis wasn’t able to fly in for Christmas, which didn’t totally suck because Christmas in New York was amazing, but he did miss his family.

When they reached their street, Louis looked out at Harry’s house, seeing that it looked exactly how he had remembered it, tan shutters with the daffodils surrounding the white picket fence. Harry’s house had become his second home, more or less, growing up and he made a mental note to reach out to Harry as soon as possible, because Louis still hadn’t told him that he arrived. It was a surprise, actually. Louis had told Harry he was arriving a week later so that he could surprise the younger boy. It should be good, considering how bummed out Harry had been when he had first heard.

His mom pulled up the car in front of their house and Louis climbed out, stretching his legs out gingerly. The trip from the airport and back home was lengthy, not to mention the two hours he’d spent cramped up in the plane. The front door opened and a burst of giggling blondes came out, running towards Louis for hugs. He still couldn’t wrap his mind around the fact that he had four baby sisters, some of whom weren’t quite babies anymore. He remembered the days he had spent whining to all of his friends, namely Harry, about how his sisters were pains, but he still loved them. After hugging each and every one of them, Louis took all of his things up to his room and fell back onto the bed, while looking around at everything.

It was all still the same, but Louis still couldn’t shake off the feeling of change.

College was eye opening, to say the least. Louis had mixed with a whole new group of people rather than the boys he’d met when he was in elementary school. He was introduced to new interests and pastimes and he also came to terms with his sexuality. It wasn’t a really big shock when he’d realized that he liked boys more than he liked girls. Growing up he’d never had much interest in the girls in their town -- except for that time Liam’s cousin from Texas came by to visit and Louis felt smitten for the two weeks she’d stayed. Other than that, Louis had never felt anything special towards them and he didn’t really think much about it.

When he went to New York, it was different. He’d shared a flat with three boys in the heart of New York City, all of whom had different stories and backgrounds. With their support and the time they spent discovering every corner of the city, Louis realized that he liked boys. Since then he had experimented with some guys and even had brief relationships with one or two. They were nothing serious, but he still felt more experienced and bigger than what this town was. It wasn’t that he felt like no one would be accepting -- his mom knew after he’d told her during a Skype call a few weeks ago, but not the other boys. Louis had no idea how they’d react.

Despite all that, he was still excited to be back.

Louis pulled his phone out of his pocket and only found a few new texts. Some from his friends back in New York and -- _aha_ \-- one from Harry sent only a few minutes ago.

**Hiiiiiiiiii Lou. What are you doing? :)**

Louis couldn’t help but smile because Harry literally had no idea. This surprise was going to be _legendary_. Louis quickly texted back to keep Harry occupied before he went over.

**just grabbed a latte from starbucks. gonna go by washington square park in a bit for a walk. it’s such a great day out!!!!!!!!!**

As Louis was walking out the door, he passed by his window, his eyes catching the tree house in the backyard. God, he’d missed that spot. Even after they got older and much taller, he and the boys had never stopped going up there. Especially him and Harry. They weren’t quite playing make believe, like _ship_ , anymore, but they still hung out up there and occasionally had sleepovers, talking about everything happening at school, what Niall and his girlfriend of the week were up to, and even bigger things like their future.

Louis turned away from the window and bounded down the stairs, shouting out, “Mom, I’m going over to see Harry.”

“Alright,” she shouted back from the kitchen. “Be back for dinner, though. I’m making your favorite tonight -- penne chicken! Bring Harry about, too. Miss that boy.”

“Okay, Mom,” Louis laughed as he walked out the door. He made his way across the street and walked up the familiar porch steps before ringing the bell. There were a few moments of waiting where Louis could hear the scuffling of feet and someone shouting before the door swung open, revealing Harry.

Harry’s eyes widened comically before he lunged forward, pulling Louis into what might have been the biggest hug ever. “Oh my God,” Harry shouted over and over again. “Oh my God, you’re here. Lou, you fucker. You’re back!”

Louis laughed, hugging Harry back, and trying to not get Harry’s curly locks in his mouth. “Yes, I’m back. I wanted to surprise you.”

“You suck,” Harry mumbled, quieting down as he continued to hug Louis, a little warmer this time. “Fuck, you’re back. I can’t believe it. I’ve missed you so much.”

When they pulled away and Louis got a better look, his jaw dropped, eyes widening. “Did you get taller, Styles?”

“I might have,” Harry shrugged, smiling sheepishly.

And tall he got. He was practically Louis’ height now and it was just -- so fucking unsettling how much Harry grew -- not just height-wise, but all around. Gone was the fifteen year old Louis had said goodbye to last summer, because in his place was a sixteen year old with broader shoulders, curlier hair, and pretty features that were slowly growing into Harry’s face.

“You did,” Louis said, voice a little shaky as he tore his eyes off of Harry and ran a nervous hand through his hair.

“Harry, you alright? I heard shouting,” Anne said, running over from the kitchen, and Louis couldn’t help but beam when they locked eyes. “Louis Tomlinson. Is that you?”

“Anne!” Louis said, running past Harry to go give her a hug. “You look amazing. I’ve missed you.”

“Missed you, too, Lou,” she replied, pulling back to see him properly. “Look how much you’ve grown.”

“Big city boy now, isn’t he?” Harry teased as he watched the pair with his arms crossed against his chest.

“He definitely is,” Anne agreed fondly. “When did you get in?”

“Just now,” Louis replied.

“And he didn’t tell me,” Harry said. “He just popped out of nowhere when I was expecting him a week later.”

Louis shrugged as innocently as he could. “Just wanted to surprise the booger.”

“I’m sure Harry’s very pleased,” Anne said. “So, what are the plans? The whole group’s together again.”

“I’m not sure,” Louis said, turning to Harry. “What are we doing today, Harold?”

Harry rolled his eyes at the nickname just as Louis was expecting him to. Harry hadn’t changed much at all, except in the ways he had. There was something more grown up about him that Louis hadn’t seen when he’d left and it was more physical. Harry wasn’t a little boy anymore.

“We could go around to the Frozen Spoon,” Harry said, referencing to their local ice cream parlor. “Liam’s just got hired over there and the boys and I go over to get free ice cream at least twice a day.”

“You’re all terrible,” Louis concluded. “But count me in.”

Harry and Louis said goodbye to Anne, who’d warned them to behave and to not get Liam in trouble, and made their way down the porch steps. While Louis started heading down towards the shop, Harry stopped him. “What?” Louis asked. “Isn’t it this way?”

“Yes, but we’re not walking,” Harry said smugly, like he had a secret.

Louis frowned in confusion until he looked to what Harry was standing next to -- his dad’s old, blue pick up truck. “Is that yours now?” Louis asked with wide, hungry eyes.

Harry nodded giddily. “Dad gave it to me for my sixteenth since I passed my driver’s test. We’ve got a ride this summer!”

“Fuck yeah!” Louis exclaimed, climbing into the truck as Harry slid into the driver’s seat. It wasn’t the fanciest car, inside nor outside, but it still felt special. None of the boys had cars despite the fact that they all  had their driver’s licenses, so this was _exciting_. The possibilities to have fun this summer seemed endless now. They drove over to the Frozen Spoon in the town center while blasting top 20 hits and when they got there, they found their friends inside.

Niall, Liam, and Zayn immediately rushed over to hug Louis hello while Harry sauntered over to the display of flavors, waving to a few familiar faces that were sat there, enjoying their ice creams.

“Missed you so much, Lou,” Niall said, giving the older boy a kiss on the cheek. “Feels like I haven’t seen you in years.”

“Saw me just a few months ago, Niall,” Louis said, despite his smile as he fondly ran his fingers through the blond hair.

“Do you want ice cream?” Liam offered. “It’s on the house for you today since you just got here.”

“What he means by that is, it’s on the house every day, but he’s just trying to be a noble employee,” Zayn snorted.

Liam groaned at that. “You guys are honestly going to get me fired someday and then you won’t have any free ice cream and we’ll all be miserable.”

“Quit whining and hand Louis a big cone with three scoops of mint chocolate chip,” Harry said to him, plopping down on a stool by the counter beside Louis.

Liam scowled at Harry, but did as was told before handing Louis a chocolate covered cone, which he immediately licked into. He had had a long flight over and all they offered were drinks and a bag of pretzels -- Louis was starving. “So,” he said to the boys, “ready for your last summer at home before leaving for the real world?”

“More than ever,” Zayn replied. “I’m so fucking glad, to be honest. Northridge was great, but I’m ready to step out.”

“Look out for him, will you, Lou?” Liam said. “He’s going to be off to that big shot art school in New York and I don’t want to see him back here with colored hair and an aesthetically curated Instagram feed.”

The boys laughed while Zayn gave Liam a deadpanned look. Zayn had gotten accepted to SVA and wouldn’t be living too far from Louis, who was currently attending Pace University. It was exciting because Louis had often felt alone while he was away from his family and friends at school, despite being surrounded by people all the time. But now he had Zayn, who he was going to show around, hang around, and probably smoke tons of weed with.

“The one we should be most worried about is Niall,” Zayn said, turning to the blond boy. “He’s going off to University of Florida, but we all know he’s going to be spending more time at Panama City Beach than in actual school.”

“Damn right I will,” Niall said. “Even when it’s not spring break. I’ll be down there. Drinking, partying, meeting cute little hunnies.”

The four of them cringed at that.

“Never say that again,” Liam said to him with a disgusted expression.

Niall rolled his eyes before they brightened. “Hey -- here’s a thought. How about we all do spring break there -- at least once in our college career if not more?”

“I’d be in,” Zayn said right away. “It’d be the proper college experience.”

“Same,” Harry grinned. “Would love to see Niall in action.”

They laughed at that; Niall looking far too smug for someone who had just gotten teased. Louis turned to Liam then. “What about you, Liam? Excited for Penn State?”

Liam beamed as he nodded. “Really excited. The football scholarship helps a lot in paying off the tuition and I get to play my favorite sport. Can’t complain, you know?”

They all nodded understandably while Harry looked a little grumpy. Louis turned to him with a concerned frown. “What’s the matter with you?” he asked. “Why the long face, bub?”

“It’s not fair,” Harry whined. “You’re all off to college and leaving this damn town and I’ll still be here for another year. This is just like when we were younger again. You guys riding your bikes to the park to play and leaving me behind while I had to wait until I was older. I’m always just going to be the baby of the group, aren’t I?”

“Well, the way you’re whining, you really are the baby of the group,” Zayn commented dryly.

This made Harry scowl more, but Zayn only laughed, leaning over to press a hard kiss on top of Harry’s head. Louis smiled at Harry, too, giving him an encouraging squeeze on the shoulder. “Hey, you’ll be off doing your own thing, too. Just give it another year. We all had to wait. Plus, we’ve got a long summer ahead of us.”

“Yeah,” Niall cheered, throwing his fist up in the air. “Can’t fucking wait to just chill and smoke and party.”

“That’s all you do, anyway,” Liam retorted, making them all laugh again.

★

Louis softly shut his front door behind him, walking out into the brisk, summer night with Harry ahead of him. His mom had made a big show of dinner tonight, making all of his favorites, and had insisted Harry come over to join them, which he obviously did, because Harry and his mom were, like, best friends. It was nice, really, to see that despite him being gone, Harry still made an effort to come over to his house and check in on his mom and sisters. Louis’d almost expected Harry to not come over as much since Louis left for college, but that wasn’t the case at all. It was nice and made Louis feel a lot better about not being here much because he could trust Harry.

Harry knew all about the twins’ dance recital, he knew about Fizzy’s fight with her best friend, and he also knew more about Lottie and her newest boyfriend than Louis did. And if that wasn’t enough, Harry and his mom had been texting and keeping in touch with each other. Though it was weird, it made Louis love Harry so much more than he already did. He really was the best friend Louis could ever have. All those miles and days apart did nothing to change that. Louis didn’t think it ever could.

“What are you thinking about?” Harry asked Louis, smiling curiously as they both sat down on the top porch step.

Louis shrugged with a smile of his own. “Just that it feels good to be home. Good to be back with the family and the guys.” He nudged Harry with his shoulder. “Good to be with you, too.”

Harry beamed at him. “It feels good to have you back, Lou. Missed you a lot. Like, I knew I would when you left, but going through it was something else entirely, you know?”

Louis nodded his head in understanding. “I thought about all of this so much when I was away. It feels like a completely different world, to tell you the truth. I feel like I’m two different people now.”

“What do you mean by that?” Harry frowned, tilting his head to the side.

Louis took time to process his thoughts, the silence only being disturbed by the crickets chirping around them, while Harry waited patiently because he understood. He knew he wanted to come out to Harry, but he didn’t know how gently or slowly he should do it. A part of him wanted to just be out with it, while another part was scared. He didn’t want to keep his sexuality a secret, especially not from his best friends, but it never got easier to come out to anyone. He never knew what their reaction would be.

Louis stretched his long legs out and leaned back on his palms, trying to get comfortable and calm his nerves a bit. “I guess, what I mean to say is that New York is such a big city and all I’ve known all my life was this small town in Wisconsin. I’m one person here and I became someone else entirely in New York.”

“Oh,” Harry hummed, thoughtfully. “Well, if it helps, it doesn’t feel like it. You seem like the same old Lou.”

“I’m glad,” Louis chuckled. “I don’t want to dramatically change. I just -- I feel different, though. In fact, I am.” His heart started to beat a little faster, his palms a little sweaty. “I realized some things about myself while I was away and I feel like I would have realized it while I was here, too, but it would have been a little harder to accept.”

“Like what?”

Harry’s big, green eyes stared unabashedly at Louis, which was a bit unnerving. Harry had a way of making you feel like you were the center of the universe just by looking at you. It made Louis feel a lot more nervous about what he was about to say. On one hand, Louis felt comfortable because this was _his_ Harry, but on the other hand, he it’d been so long. No matter how much things have changed -- how much _Louis_ changed -- it was still rather huge what he was about to do.

“Harry,” Louis began softly. “I’m -- I’m gay.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah,” Louis nodded a few times too many. “I like boys.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

Harry blinked, licking his lips, still staring at Louis with wide eyes and Louis just really wanted him to say something other than _oh_. What did _oh_ even mean?

“Well, that’s cool,” Harry eventually said.

“Really?” Louis asked him earnestly.

“Of course, Louis. Did you think I was going to say it wasn’t? Because you know I’m not a dickhead.”

“I know you’re not a dickhead,” Louis laughed. “I just wanted to make sure.”

Harry laughed, too, his eyes crinkling. And _God_ , he’d really grown so much. He was the baby of the group and seeing him so grown up just made Louis feel all sorts of ways, especially with how well he was taking Louis’ news. It showed his maturity and open mindedness for the world, even though Louis knew Harry was never narrow minded. It also made him realize that he wasn’t always going to be able to protect Harry the way he had when they were younger. Harry was old enough to do that on his own. And that also meant Louis was getting older himself and things were changing. He wasn’t quite sure yet if it was for better or for worse.

“It’s great, you know?” Harry said. “I think it’s great that you’re being honest with yourself and who you are. It’s very brave.”

Louis found himself blushing at the compliment. “I wouldn’t call it being brave. It’s really not even that big of a deal. My friends in New York don’t think so at least. Then again, I’m probably the fiftieth gay person they know because it’s more diverse out there. They’re pretty used to it. Over here, it might be kinda different. Less people and everyone’s not used to it. I don’t think I know one gay person in this town and I’ve lived here for eighteen years.”

“You know Derrick Lively is gay,” Harry said, making Louis’ eyebrows almost rise up to his hairline. Derrick Lively was in Harry’s grade and Louis briefly knew him. He was captain of the lacrosse team, too, so this was a surprise.

“Really?”

Harry nodded. “He came out to me sometime in December. Only his mom knows he’s gay, though. He doesn’t want to tell many people. He also has a boyfriend in Glen Cove.”

“Wow,” Louis drawled out. Glen Cove was a few towns away, but good on Derrick. “That’s -- that’s great. I’m happy for him.”

“Does _your_ mom know?”

“Yeah. She was one of the first people I told, actually. And then I thought of calling you, but I wanted to do it in person, instead.”

A soft frown formed between Harry’s brows. “If you, um, if you don’t mind me asking, how did you realize you liked boys?”

“Uhh,” Louis mumbled, scratching his head, watching as a car drove by. It was Mr. Henley, probably getting back from work. The thought and immediate recognition made him laugh inside because in New York he saw strangers every day, but in this small town, he knew everyone from their _car._ “Probably when I kissed Lucy Greene in the seventh grade and did not enjoy it. And then more so in eleventh grade when I used to check out Bobby Kawalski in the locker rooms before soccer practice.”

Harry stared at him for a moment before bursting out laughing, his laugh breaking the quiet of the neighbourhood, and probably waking up several people who’d already gone to bed, like the old couple next door, Gina and Paul Goodman.

“What are you laughing about?” Louis whisper shouted at Harry.

“You -- you --,” Harry burst into another fit of giggles. “You used to like Bobby Kawalski?”

“Oh my God, Harry,” Louis groaned, covering his eyes. “He had pecs, okay? It was hot.”

“Except his pecs literally looked like two A cups,” Harry laughed again, tears springing up in his eyes. “Liam called him Man Boobies all throughout high school.”

“He had abs, too, you know?” Louis added, despite laughing, too. “And he had a pretty nice face.”

“Alright,” Harry said. “I’ll be sure to call him up to match you two up. He didn’t go to college, I don’t think. I’ve seen him around his dad’s mechanic shop a few times when I had to take my car in.”

“Does he still have the pecs?”

Harry nodded. “But his body grew into it, so it doesn’t look so bad. Still -- he has bigger boobs than most girls I know.”

“Surprising considering your mom,” Louis added.

It took a moment for it to register to Harry what Louis had just said and when it did, his eyes widened and he lunged at Louis, tackling the older boy to the floor of the porch. “Take that back, you weirdo,” Harry panted out as Louis flipped them over and held Harry’s hands above his head.

“It’s true,” Louis exclaimed.

“I thought you liked boys. Why in the world are you looking at my mom’s tits?” Harry asked, bewildered and a little angry while wrestling Louis over.

“This has nothing to do with being gay, Harry. This is all about appreciating the good things about this world.”

“I’m going to fucking _kill_ you.”

Their laughter rang through the neighbourhood and if anyone got up to complain, they knew better because it was Harry and Louis and they were back together again.

★

“ _Come on, Eileen, too-loo-rye-aye_ ,” Harry sang, shaking his hips as he swiped the white paint across his section of the garage door. “ _Now, you’re full grown. Now, you have shown._ Ohhhh _, Eileen.”_

Harry glanced over at Louis, who was sat by the iHome, where Harry had plugged in his iPhone to his _summer 2010 hell yeah_ playlist. He was looking back at Harry with a curious expression. And, yeah, maybe it had something to do with Harry wearing his shortest shorts, a yellow pair he’d gotten years ago  -- read: when he was ten --, and shaking his ass all over the place to all the songs playing while making eyes over at Louis now and then.

It was a bit of a _situation_.

Niall, Liam, and Zayn who were painting beside Harry were paying no mind to that _situation_ , however _._ Liam and Niall were goofing off and having tiny paint wars with their brushes while Zayn tried to discreetly paint some elaborate design even though Harry’s mom had just wanted them to paint it a simple white. They had two garage doors and both had a few chips and needed work, so when she asked Harry to paint it, he got the others on board. Louis did a total of five minutes of painting before sitting himself down on the grass and tanning even though he was ridiculously, unfairly, and beautifully tan on his own.

Harry needed a tan. He should totally take his shirt off and lie down beside Louis, but he wondered if that would be too extra.

He had a plan. A plan to slowly seduce Louis, but the plan was also one that came about only a few nights ago when Louis came out to Harry. Harry didn’t want to say that it came as a total surprise that Louis was gay because when Harry looked back, there were a lot of signs. No, he hadn’t seen Louis check out Bobby fucking Kawalski, but he did notice that Louis never really showed any interest in any girl. Granted, he didn’t show interest in boys, either, but aside from that, there were times when Louis seemed really _camp._ Harry himself was quite camp at times -- yellow booty shorts, _hello_ \--, but Louis used to wear tight, red pants and he did this limp _thing_ with his wrists. He always had a flair of flamboyance about him and who could forget his stint in the drama club where he played Danny in the _Grease_ Spring musical. Harry had wet dreams for a week straight after seeing that performance.

So, ever since then, it was all Harry could think about. Mostly because Harry had been in love with Louis since as long as he could remember. And while his sexuality wasn’t something he actively thought about, he knew he had no interest in girls. He also didn’t have any interests in other boys, either. That was mostly because most of the guys in their town were straight. The only gay guy Harry knew was taken. And despite all that, it’d always just been Louis that piqued any sort of interest out of him.

If Harry had to pinpoint a time when it did become a bit obvious that his feelings strayed from just platonic, it was probably when he was twelve and Louis was fourteen, and they were sitting up on the tree house, just talking. Louis was upset about this fight he’d had with his mom and he was hating high school because none of them were with him yet. So, he turned to Harry, and unloaded all his pent up frustrations and feelings. And all Harry remembered thinking when Louis broke down into angry tears was that he would do anything to make sure Louis was happy and okay. Harry would leave and drop anything and everything just for Louis -- just to make sure he knew that Harry was there. He remembered getting butterflies when Louis leaned into his touch and practically sat on his lap for comfort, despite their size difference at the time.

It only got more obvious to him after that. Harry started to appreciate the beauty in Louis more, but in a romantic way. He would picture kissing his lips when they looked extra pink. He wanted to hold his hand whenever they brushed their skin against one another. He wanted to tell Louis how pretty he thought he was. He even jerked off once or twice -- read: many -- times to the thought of Louis, but it always made him feel a bit weird after he came. And in the simplest way, Harry just wanted him, but he wasn’t sure he could have him. That was until now.

Harry realized later that night after Louis came out to him that he could have told him about his confusion with his sexuality as well. But then, it would have taken away from what Louis was doing. It had to have taken a lot of courage for him to come out to anyone, let alone Harry. Harry wasn’t that courageous or brave. He couldn’t even properly label himself, but then again, how could he be sure? His experience with that stuff was so limited. He had his first kiss with Louis when he was freaking seven. And since then, he’d kissed Amelia Hoffman at the eighth grade school dance. Then last year, he kissed Lily Brown during a seven minutes in heaven game at a party, which was more of two minutes of kissing and five minutes of Lily telling Harry about how she had a crush on Niall and if he’d hook them up.

Maybe that was why Louis had realized he was gay only after leaving Northridge because just like Harry, Louis’ experiences were pretty slim, too. Which got Harry thinking about Louis’ experiences in New York. Who did he hook up with? What did they do? He didn’t want to admit to himself that he was jealous of whoever Louis’ first was, but then he’d also have to actively think about the fact that Louis wasn’t a virgin. Harry was one and maybe a silly and naive part of him wished that he could have been Louis’ first just like he was when they kissed all those years ago. It wasn’t realistic, though. Louis didn’t even know about Harry’s feelings.

“What are you thinking about?”

Harry blinked over at Louis, who appeared beside him, wearing a snapback over his head and picking up his brush to help paint alongside Harry.

“Um, nothing,” Harry mumbled, clearing his throat, as he turned back to his own brush. The song had changed to “OMG” by Usher and Harry had no doubt it was Zayn who changed it. It was probably from his iPod, too, because Harry really despised this song and would never put it on his own.

Louis glanced over at him again, pursing his lips, before speaking up again. “Interesting shorts.”

Harry blushed, like, _instantly_. He was suddenly second guessing his whole seduction plan and wanted to run and change into a _normal_ pair of shorts. Ones that were at least knee length and didn’t show off his legs, no matter how nice they were. He started chewing on his bottom lip, painting vigorously.

But then, “I like it,” Louis said.

Harry froze, then. His eyes widening, but not daring to look back at Louis. Was he -- was he flirting with Harry? They’d flirted before, but it was always that silly, joking, friend type of flirting. Nothing serious or anything to freak out over, but _this_ felt a little different. How? Harry had no idea, but he felt like his stomach was going to jump out through his ass because of how much it was fluttering and somersaulting.

“Um, I -- I’m --.” Harry cleared his throat. He finally looked at Louis, who looked way too smug for his own good. “Are you making fun of me?”

Louis sputtered out a laugh. “What? No? What the fuck? I just complemented you, you asshole.”

“You like my shorts?” Harry asked, just to be sure.

“Yes, Harry,” Louis laughed, his cheeks now turning a light shade of pink. “They’re nice.”

“Um,” Harry smiled shyly. “You like them in general or on me?”

Louis tipped his head to the side, eyeing Harry with that curious expression again. Harry wondered if any of the other boys were listening or even paying them any attention, but one quick glance over at them, he saw the other three doing some weird dance to “Alejandro” by Lady Gaga. Ridiculous.

“Is that why you wore them?” Louis asked Harry, snapping him out of his thoughts once again.

“What?” Harry asked, wondering if his coy act was falling through or working.

“Are you wearing the shorts because you thought I’d like them?”

Damn. Louis was not afraid to be blunt.

He got really good at the flirting thing because Harry didn’t remember him having this much game.

“I may have,” Harry shrugged, turning back to start painting again. He had to play it cool. Louis was playing cool and he made it look a lot easier than it was.

It seemed that Harry had rendered Louis speechless because he wasn’t responding back. So, Harry continued painting, and eventually when his mom came out with peanut butter sandwiches and peach lemonade, he put his brush down, wiping his paint stained hands against his shorts. He was about to walk over to join the others, who were already pigging out, when Louis spoke up.

“I like the shorts on you,” he said.

Harry’s eyes widened comically and for a moment, he’d almost forgotten what they were talking about. Louis smiled at Harry with this look that seemed just for him before brushing past him to grab a sandwich.

★

Louis leaned back on his palms, joint lit between his lips, as he watched Harry chasing Liam with a shopping cart, that Niall was sitting in, while laughing maniacally at Liam shrieking in a high pitched tone. Zayn was sitting beside Louis looking as stoned as Louis felt and it was _nice_. This was one of the things Louis’d missed about home. New York was always exciting. There was something to do any time he got bored. But there was simplicity in Northridge. He’d lost count of how many nights he and his best friends spent smoking and fooling around in the YMCA and Stop ‘N Shop parking lot.

“Can’t wait to be doing this on some rooftop in Man-fuckin-hattan,” Zayn said, his voice drippy and lazy.

Louis chuckled, leaning forward to take the joint between his fingers, and exhaling out smoke. “It’ll be sick, man,” he agreed.

“We have to go out, like, every weekend,” Zayn said. “I want to see everything.”

“We will,” Louis told him. “Are you nervous about your first time on a plane?”

Zayn nodded, looking guilty, before the two of them burst out laughing. “I mean, do you blame me? I don’t want to be thousands of feet off the ground and flying in this shit that’s going to be holding hundreds of people. The chance of dying is so high.”

“You’ll be fine,” Louis said, laughing even harder at Zayn’s fears. “It’s actually really safe and it’s alright once you get past the loop de loop.”

“The what?”

Zayn’s face had blanched and this was really mean, but Louis was never above being a dick. “The loop de loop,” Louis said, swirling his fingers up in the air to demonstrate. “It does that once or twice when you’re up on the air to steady the plane and make it go in a straight line rather than in a slanted direction.”

The funniest part about this was that Zayn actually looked convinced, but not any less nervous. He stared at Louis and he looked to be deep in thought. Perhaps he was contemplating whether he should believe Louis or not. But then another scream from the other boys turned their attention back to them. Somehow, Harry was shirtless now, and this time he was the one being chased while Liam was half climbed up on the shopping cart with Niall, and racing after Harry.

It seemed to be a thing -- Harry wearing less and less clothes every time they hung out.

The shorts from the other day when they were painting Harry’s mom’s garage were -- they were fucking sexy, to be honest. And Louis was worried he was going to give in to how much he liked it and do something about it. But all that happened were some flirty exchanges. Harry was just confusing him a little and a lot of it had to do with the fact that Louis wasn’t sure what to do with him. The reason being was that all his life Louis had just seen Harry as a friend of his. One who was younger, had baby features that were too big for his face, and a laugh that was more of a maniacal cackle than anything. But now, Harry was _hot_.

There.

Louis admitted it.

 _Harry got hot_.

And it was weird because Louis had hooked up with extremely hot guys back in New York, but Harry was on some other level. In fact, Louis felt like Harry created his own set of levels and with each passing day, he surpassed himself and glo’d the fuck up. His jeans were getting tighter and he was more comfortable throwing his clothes off than keep them on, but that was just Harry. Louis still remembered the first time Harry got drunk and skinny dipped in Paulina Shapiro’s pool party. He hadn’t put his clothes back on for the rest of the night and it was probably the biggest scandal for about a week until Paulina broke up with her boyfriend because he was dating some college girl behind her back.

Anyway, the point being was that the two of them had known each other for nine years. That was a really long time and in those nine years, Louis had never seen Harry as anything more than what their friendship was. Yeah, they shared a first kiss together, but they were _kids_. Well, they were still kind of kids. Louis didn’t feel like any more of an adult just because he moved out and he wasn’t a complete expert on living his life. He only just figured out his sexuality. Figuring out the rest of him and how it fit into that was a whole other feat.

And if the signs Harry’d been giving Louis these past few days, such as flirting with him and giving him longing, besotted looks, then, well. Louis had _no_ idea. He had no idea what to do because he _maybe_ , might have feelings for Harry -- feelings that hadn’t surfaced up until now. It was like Harry was opening up this part of his heart that he didn’t even know had a lock, or key to it.

Louis leaned in closer to Zayn. “We’ll be together after this summer, but what about the rest of them?” He asked, gesturing over to the other boys.

“Niall will be fine,” Zayn decided. “No doubt that he’s going to the right University. We might need to check in on Liam from time to time, though.”

“And Harry?” Louis asked, looking over at the boy in question. He was currently hanging off of a light pole and pretending he was a stripper, doing this elaborate dance that had Niall on the ground from laughing. Louis swore Harry was close to taking off his jeans and if that was what was going to be happening, Louis was going to leave. There was only so much he could take in one night.

In fact, a part of Louis felt like Harry was doing this on purpose, because if he was seeing right, Harry kept glancing over at Louis to see if he was looking or not.

What the fuck?

Zayn chuckled then. “Harry’ll be fine. He’s just whining because you’re not here.”

“What?”

Zayn turned to look at Louis, an amused expression on his face. “Do you honestly think he’s upset because the rest of us are leaving?” When Louis didn’t answer, Zayn shook his head with another laugh. “He’s upset because he won’t be with you for another year. Yeah, we helped by being here with him, but it’s mostly just you.”

“Oh,” Louis blinked.

“Yeah. Kid’s obsessed with you, Lou.”

Louis let out a breathy laugh that sounded nervous to his ears, but Zayn’s words also brought a flurry of butterflies to his stomach.

★

When Mary Hart’s parents left for a three day trip to some retreat in Iowa over the weekend, she sent everyone on Facebook an invite for a house party over at her’s. Louis wasn’t going to go and actually ignored the invite until the other four boys showed up at his house Friday night, dressed and ready to go. In fact, Niall already had two cans of beers in his hand that he probably stole from his dad’s stash to pregame.

“What’s up?” Louis asked slowly, leaning against the doorway.

“Um, why aren’t you dressed?” Harry asked, completely ignoring his question.

“Are we going somewhere?” Louis asked him.

“We’re going to Mary Hart’s party, of course,” Harry said, walking inside, and pushing Louis ahead.

“But, I don’t want to go. I ignored the request.”

“Too bad; we’re going. Mary’s parties are always sick.”

“And that’s saying something considering she’s the reverend’s daughter,” Liam piped up, making himself comfortable on Louis’ couch where his youngest sisters were watching _Freaky Friday_. Zayn joined them while Niall shoved the beer in his jeans pockets, making it look so obvious, even though he thought he was being inconspicuous. Harry, on the other hand, pushed Louis up the stairs and into his bedroom.

Louis groaned once Harry let him go, looking at the mess that was his room. He’d only been back a few days and he already had a big pile of dirty clothes sat by his computer desk as well as three unwashed plates on his side table. He was planning on adding to that with a bowl of cereal while he watched some _Daredevil_ on Netflix tonight.

“I wasn’t planning on doing anything tonight. You know how much that means to me,” Louis told Harry while pulling on his grey pull over that read BROOKLYN in black block letters.

“I know. But the boys and I wanna get drunk tonight and we weren’t going to do it without you.”

Louis looked over at at Harry then, whose eyes shot up from Louis’ torso to his face. Uh. He cleared his throat and his own eyes started absentmindedly taking in Harry’s long, lean legs fit snugly in his blue jeans. He also had on his purple Jack Wills hoodie as well as his purple supras that he recently got after mowing a lot of lawns and he never wanted to take off. He gave Louis a shy smile.

“Alright, if we must,” Louis agreed, gulping a little.

Okay. They were definitely just checking each other out.

★

Twenty minutes later, the five boys entered Mary Hart’s already trashed house. How her parents hadn’t caught her throwing these crazy house parties while they went to religious retreats was beyond Louis, but he did get to see several familiar faces. The majority of the crowd was still in high school, but everyone still knew each other, walking over to greet Louis and ask him all about New York. After maneuvering their way through the crowd, the five of them made it into the kitchen where Niall grabbed them all a beer. A Lil Wayne song was playing and Zayn and Niall were singing along to it while Liam tapped away on his phone and Harry stared back at Louis.

“What?” Louis asked him, in reference to his staring.

Harry smiled sheepishly. “Aren’t you going to look for Bobby Kawalski?”

Louis rolled his eyes while Harry broke out into a fit of giggles. He’d been teasing Louis about the Bobby thing since Louis told him. He even relayed the information to the other boys when Louis came out to them over a scoop of mint chocolate chip courtesy of Liam. They reacted fairly similarly to Harry and told Louis it was _totally cool_. He was lucky to have such accepting family and friends, really.

“I didn’t like him, okay?” Louis clarified for the hundredth time. “I appreciated his body. Besides, you don’t get to do all the teasing here, okay? What about you, huh? Haven’t you got someone you’ve had your eye on?”

Harry shrugged, leaning closer to Louis, and looking a little flushed. Louis tilted his head to the side and fixed Harry with a suspicious look. He wanted so badly to get inside the younger boy’s mind just to see what he was thinking. Was he thinking about Louis? Was he thinking about a girl? Did he even like girls? “You do, don’t you?” He asked him. “You totally have someone.”

“I don’t have anyone,” Harry insisted.

“Oh, so you’re just crushing on someone?”

Harry shrugged again while Liam chimed into the conversation. “Harry’s got all of Northridge High crushing on him. He just won’t do anything about it.”

“Is that so?” Louis teased Harry, nudging the younger boy with his finger. “Our little heartbreaker, are you?”

“Shut up,” Harry whined, while the other boys laughed. “I’m not breaking anyone’s hearts. You guys are so annoying.”

“Says the guy who got asked out fourteen times during prom by senior girls, no less, and rejected all of them,” Zayn muttered.

“And he did it in the most polite way and offered to buy them cookies the next day at lunch,” Niall added.

“Aww,” Louis cooed, pulling Harry close to give him a cuddle. “Look at you, breaking hearts and offering cookies in return.”

“I hate all of you,” Harry mumbled, hiding his red face in the crook of Louis’ shoulder. “How else am I supposed to say no?”

“We’re just trying to figure out _why_ you said no in the first place,” Liam said, laughing.

“I had my reasons,” Harry told them, wrapping his arms around Louis’ waist and holding on.

If that wasn’t an indication, then Louis didn’t know what was. The other three boys rolled their eyes, oblivious as they changed the topic, while Louis looked down at Harry. Even though they didn’t get it, Louis definitely did. Harry blinked up at him through his lashes.

“You alright?” Louis asked.

Harry hummed. “Missed you.”

Louis smiled, placing his beer down on the counter, and hugging Harry back. “Missed you, too.”

Just then, the beginning notes to “Dynamite” by Taio Cruz filled the speakers, and the other three boys looked over at Harry and Louis, grinning. Louis sighed and shook his head no. “C’mon boys, we can’t.”

“Of course we can,” Niall said earnestly. “It was our song all of last summer. We _have_ to do the living room routine.”

“We haven’t done it in so long.”

“Because you weren’t here,” Harry reminded him, letting him go around the waist and taking his hands, instead, while leading him over to the makeshift dance floor. It seemed Louis was losing another battle tonight and they were in fact going to be doing their whole living room routine that they’d taken months practicing just because they were bored and wanted to sit in Zayn’s air conditioned basement when it was too hot to go outside.

None of them were particularly good dancers. Zayn was possibly the worst, but they still put together a bunch of random dance moves together and got the whole crowd at the party laughing as they shook their tiny butts in the end.

★

Harry giggled happily as he stumbled out of Mary Hart’s house with Louis in tow. It was nearing three in the morning and the party was nowhere near dying down. Liam had been making out with Shelby Connors in some bathroom while Zayn was smoking a joint with Ant and Danny. And Niall had gone missing ever since he went down to the basement where a couple of guys had plugged in video game consoles. Louis and Harry, on the other hand, had just taken a few shots (naturally with “Shots” by LMFAO and Lil Jon playing loud in the background) and felt stuffy in there, so they decided to leave and just walk around a bit.

Harry had been hoping for some alone time with Louis, which was why he didn’t leave his side once during the party, even when Jonny, Ellis and the others asked him to come drink and dance with them. While he loved his friends in his grade, if Louis was there, Harry was always going to choose to be with him. Plus, his seduction plan had been going too well for him to start slacking. Louis had been giving him these _looks_ that Harry couldn’t quite make out, but he knew they were good because it was sort of a half smirk, half surprised expression. And usually the other guys were always with them, so being alone with Louis would help his plan. Although, he wasn’t quite sure what he was going to do exactly. He was hoping it would come to him as time went on. It felt nice, though.

Walking down these familiar streets with Louis felt like time hadn’t passed at all -- as though nearly ten years hadn’t just come and gone. Harry could still picture himself prancing alongside Louis while they walked to the park. He could see himself telling Louis all about how pretty he thought his fifth grade teacher, Ms. Applebaum, was. He could even remember the walk he and Louis took when Louis told him about going away for college. That’d been a sad one, mostly because Harry realized then that he wouldn’t get to do this with Louis as often anymore. This was how it was going to be from now on. The two of them would only meet from time to time while miles kept them apart.

That wasn’t going to deter Harry with his plan, however. He believed in them because it had always been something different with Louis. And that led Harry to realize that there was one thing that hadn’t changed and it was how much Harry just admired Louis and what he was like all the time. Especially then, as the neon lights from the street lamps and store signs illuminated his face.

It was slightly brisk out and Louis held on to his jean jacket tight while ducking under a store’s awning. Harry slowly followed, standing beside him, and watched as he pulled out a cigarette from his pocket, quickly lighting it up.

“You don’t mind, do you?” Louis asked, smoke billowing out of his mouth and nostrils.

Harry shook his head, eyes glazing over a bit as he watched Louis’ lips pull on the cigarette before exhaling. It was intoxicating just watching him. Second hand smoke was said to be bad for the health, but not watching Louis smoke seemed impossible because he was so beautiful.

Louis was so fucking beautiful.

If it wasn’t clear to him before, it was now. Harry was in love, which is just such a cliche considering Louis was one of Harry’s oldest friends. He knew him like the back of his hand and could tell him anything -- even if that anything was super bad, because Louis would still want to be his friend. But Harry didn’t want to be just friends anymore. He wanted more. He wanted Louis to want him more and just notice him. Would he, though? Would he look past the fact that Harry was one of his best friends?

Standing there with Louis under brightly dusted neon lights, the moon, and the windy, summer air, Harry felt himself get a little brave. Then again -- he’d been brave with Louis before this. After all, he got his first kiss. That was miles different and he knew. He just hoped it wouldn’t ruin anything because he’d understand if Louis just wanted to be friends. But a part of him would always still be in love with Louis, anyway. Because Louis was just that kind of person -- he drew you in and captivated you more than anyone you’d ever known.

“Hey, Lou,” Harry croaked out, his voice raspy from either the night air or his nerves -- he wasn’t sure yet.

Louis hummed, glancing up at him with fluttering eyelashes and sea blue eyes. Harry smiled at him for a moment, leaning in close while Louis held the cigarette away, and kissed him. And yeah, this was _miles_ different than that first kiss, but it only made Harry realize just how much he wanted it. Then again, he couldn’t remember a time in his life when he didn’t want to kiss Louis.

He tasted like smoke, cheap beer, and something else that was sweet. The kiss was close mouthed and innocent, but when Louis leaned forward after freezing for a brief moment, Harry exhaled in relief and opened his mouth. Louis’ eyes were closed as he swayed forward towards Harry, putting his free hand around Harry’s waist while Harry cupped his hands around Louis’ neck, kissing him back like he had no intention of stopping.

For some reason, this felt a lot easier than telling Louis that Harry’d had feelings for him for as long as he could remember.

★

Harry scooped up some of his rocky road ice cream from his large cup before sucking it into his mouth. He looked up to see Liam watching him and the other three guys with narrowed, stern eyes. He was miffed because they’d all conned him into giving them free ice cream -- _again_. But, to be honest, it was hardly their fault that Liam was so easy to trick. One puppy dog face from Zayn and Liam was done.

Harry didn't blame him, though.

If Zayn made that face at him, Harry would probably kill a few people and hide the bodies for him.

Zayn had a great face and he could get a lot of perks through it. And Harry reckoned Louis could, too, because his face was probably the best in Harry’s opinion. Back when Harry was thirteen, he went up to the tree house to see Louis after school one day, and the sun was filtering through the window and it lit up against Louis’ face, making him look almost ethereal. There was something about that sight that left Harry speechless and he remembered staring at Louis for a long time -- his cheekbones, his blue eyes, his lips.

Looking over at him then, Harry saw Louis was eyeing Liam back, while taking long licks of his ice cream cone. It took conscious effort on Harry’s part to look away because staring at Louis’ tongue for too long reminded him of Friday night when they’d kissed.

It’d been three days since and it was...a little weird.

Which made no sense because Louis had kissed back. In fact, they made out for a solid two minutes or so until they broke apart, breathing heavily into each other’s space. Then Louis looked at Harry, gulped, and started walking towards their house. His cigarette was lying on the ground, still burning, and Harry made sure to step on it before following the other boy. They’d parted before going to their respective homes and had only looked at each other as a goodbye.

And Harry had been stressed, to say the least. He really went and fucked it up when he just kissed Louis without any pretense. He shouldn’t have drank as much as he did and he should have had more self control. He didn’t even come out to Louis. He didn’t come out to anyone, not even to himself, really. He was such a fucking idiot, honestly. And a coward, too, because he hadn’t reached out to Louis at all to explain. Even if Louis kissed him back, it was still on Harry to say something because he was probably confusing Louis in a way. He should have said something about it the very first night.

“So, Liam,” Zayn said, waggling his eyebrows at the other boy. “Heard you and Shelby went on a date yesterday.”

“Where’d you hear that?” Liam inquired while Niall said at the same time, “You’re dating Stinky Shelby?”

Harry snorted out a laugh at that, Louis joining him, and the two of them looked over at each other across the counter, smiling and acknowledging one another for the first time that day.

“Do people still call her that?” Liam asked, in reference to Shelby’s nickname since the fifth grade. She didn’t wear deodorant and would often sweat, so some mean kid started calling her that and it became a thing, unfortunately. “She isn’t smelly, anymore. She smelled really good when we hooked up on Friday.” He turned to Zayn. “And yes, we went out on Sunday, but only for a pizza at Paul’s. It was hardly a date, but I think she’s definitely into me.”

“ _Oooh_ , summer romance,” Harry cooed at Liam, smiling, while Liam blushed.

Louis started snapping his fingers to a familiar tune, singing, “summer lovin had me a blast.”

“Summer lovin happened so fast,” Zayn crooned out.

“I met a girl crazy for me,” Niall sang next.

“Met a boy, cute as can be,” Harry sang next, catching Louis’ gaze, who seemed to flush under Harry’s eyes.

“Summer days, drifting away to, uh oh, those summer nights,” Niall and Zayn sang together.

“Well a, well a, well a, uh,” Harry and Louis belted out together. “Tell me more, tell me more, did you get very far?”

“Tell me more, tell me more, like does he have a car?” Liam sang with the rest of them, laughing along. “Summer days, something’s begun. But oh, oh, these summer nights.”

The other customers in the shop all looked up at them, smiling fondly while giving a little clap, and the boys all bowed. “Thank you, thank you,” Niall said. “Catch your local cover boyband at the Frozen Spoon every Monday after three.”

They all took their seats again at the counter, continuing to devour their ice cream, when Niall spoke up again. “Speaking of which, where the fuck did you two fuck off to on Friday night?” He directed to Louis and Harry. “The three of us spent a good half hour looking for you before giving up. It’s not polite to bail on your squad in the middle of a party.”

Louis’ eyes widened while Harry concentrated on his ice cream like he was studying for a huge test. He hadn’t thought the other boys noticed that he and Louis slipped away, but now that they were bringing it up, it was super awkward, considering _the kiss incident_.

“We went home,” Louis eventually answered. Harry peered over at him to find that Louis was looking right back at him.

Harry nodded then. “Yeah, we went home.”

★

Louis heard Harry climb up the tree house before he saw him. It was growing old, the tree house, worn over the years of use, so whenever anyone climbed up, it made creaking noises. Louis was sat in one of the corners of it, taking cat naps while scrolling through his Instagram feed to see what his friends in New York were up to while also obsessively looking at pictures of Harry from the last few months.

It was a bit creepy, but Louis was having a really hard time ever since Friday night when Harry had kissed him, because he _liked_ the kiss. That was why he kissed back -- because Harry made his head spin and his stomach flutter. And it was so cliche how much Louis thought back to that moment all weekend while looking through all of Harry’s pictures, seeing the subtle changes since the last time Louis saw him compared to this time. Harry was so fucking pretty, in an annoyingly beautiful way.

Louis had been thinking about change when he first came back to town and he’d thought that the only thing that’d changed was him, but he was wrong. While a part of Louis knew that nothing would ever happen to his and Harry’s friendship because it was strong despite the age difference, the fights, and the time apart, something had shifted this summer and he couldn’t figure out how.

His mind was suddenly on a constant loop of as to whether or not Harry had feelings for him. Louis couldn’t figure out why else Harry would have kissed him. It couldn’t have been because he was piss drunk because Harry only had a beer and two shots. He was walking and talking fine. So, Louis connected the kiss to all the other things Harry’d been doing this summer, things that got Louis’ attention in a way he’d never associated with Harry. And through all that thinking, he’d sort of admitted to himself that _he_ might have feelings for the younger boy. It was unfamiliar territory and it meant  a lot to him because Harry was someone who he’d known for a long time, but he was getting more and more sure of it as time passed. Why else would he be obsessing about this?

The only problem was Louis had no idea what Harry’s side of the story was. He hadn’t mentioned anything about his sexuality or any sort of secret feelings that he’d had for Louis. That was the most frustrating part -- Louis didn’t know if he was making this all up in his head or if it was actually real. This was mostly why he walked away from Harry that night they kissed without saying anything because he had no idea where to begin.

Things were so fucking _weird_.

Harry’s curly mop popped up by the entryway of the tree house followed by his mossy green eyes. “Hi Lou,” he said softly as he finished climbing in. He sat across from him, stretching his legs out. “Your mom told me you were up here. She also told me to tell you that your Aunt Beth is coming over for dinner and she’s bringing your cousin, Caleb, so you have to be nice to him even if you don’t want to.”

Louis let out a snort and shook his head sadly. “I fucking hate Caleb.”

Harry smiled sympathetically. “I know,” Harry said. “I can understand why. He’s two hundred and fifty pounds and still insists on trying to wrestle you, like he’s John Cena or something.”

“I fucking know,” Louis whined, resting his head against the wood wall. “Maybe I can hide out here.”

“Your mom already said you can’t.”

“Maybe she’ll forget about me and won’t call me down.”

“Don’t be silly. No one can forget about you,” Harry responded, his voice soft and almost like there was a double meaning behind what he’d just said.

Louis thought about the kiss again -- _of course he did_ \-- and wondered if that was why Harry was up here. They hadn’t spoken since it happened and honestly, Louis was not going to be the first one to break the ice. If he did, then all of the mumbo jumbo up in his brain might stumble out of his mouth, which _no thanks._ He was already confused as it was and he didn’t want Harry to think he was crazy.

The two of them sat in silence for a while and Louis was starting to get a little impatient. Harry wasn’t doing much. His eyes were trained on his dirty converse sneakers that Zayn had drawn on with a sharpie, and the sun was started to set outside, casting light into the tree house. From where he was sat, Louis could see his bedroom, as well as the kitchen below where his mom was cooking. He hoped it was the frozen ribs he’d seen in the freezer when he was looking for one of Fizzy’s orange popsicles to steal.

“I have to tell you something,” Harry finally said, snapping Louis out of his daze.

He looked back at the younger boy. “Okay.”

“I like you,” Harry said, voice almost a whisper. “And that was why I kissed you on Friday night.”

“You like me?” Louis asked. “Like...like-like me?”

Harry nodded, biting his bottom lip, like he did when he was nervous. “I like-like you.”

Louis could feel his heart thumping heavily against his chest, his rate picking up, and gulped. “Are you -- are you not straight?”

Harry shrugged, then. “I don’t know. I just...I don’t know, Louis. I have been feeling a certain way for awhile about who I’m attracted to gender wise, but I haven’t really thought too much about it. But I do know that I like you.”

“Since how long?” Louis asked then, placing the flat of his TOMS against Harry’s feet, lining them together. Harry pressed his feet back against him.

“I don’t know,” Harry said, looking almost shy now. “For as long as I can think. I just -- I’m not completely sure. I just feel something and I wanted you to know because I don’t want you to think I’m taking advantage or that I kissed you because I was drunk. It meant something to me.”

“I didn’t think you were taking advantage of me, Harry,” Louis told him. “I was confused, though.”

“Yeah,” Harry nodded. A pause and then, “you also kissed me back.”

Louis laughed, tilting his head to the side, to look over at Harry. “I did.”

“Does that mean that you also...you know…?”

“You’re stupid,” Louis laughed, feeling both nervous and giddy.

“ _Tell me_ ,” Harry whined, grinning as he bit his lip, his dimple deep.

Louis nodded softly, not being able to meet Harry’s eyes, even though Harry was staring at him shamelessly. It was so fucking ridiculous. Louis had boldly flirted and hooked up with a hot twenty four year old just a few months ago at a bar in Brooklyn, but he couldn’t even look at Harry, his childhood best friend, in the eye while telling him he liked him. It was completely, utterly ridiculous.

“What’s wrong?” Harry asked him.

This time, Louis did turn to look at him, surprised that Harry even thought anything was wrong. “What do you mean?”

“I just mean you seem a little apprehensive.”

“I am, a little bit, I guess,” Louis admitted. “It’s just a bit strange, I think. Because I never really thought about all this before this summer, you know? I know you said you had feelings for me, but you were really good at hiding them all these years.”  

“I didn’t know you liked boys then,” Harry said. “If I’d known then…”

“I get it, I do. But what does this mean _now_?”

Harry looked just as perplexed as Louis felt. “I’m not sure,” Harry said. “We could, just. I don’t know. Go with it, if you want?”

“Go with it. How _romantic_.”

Harry let out his maniacal cackle, covering his mouth when he realized how loud he was. Louis saw his mom glance up from the kitchen and give them a little wave. He waved back before turning to Harry.

“I see what you mean. But I’m trying to figure this out as well,” Harry told him. “I mean it, though. Let’s just go with what feels right. All I know right now is that I’ve felt this way for you for a long, long time and it feels good to have told you.” He paused for a moment as he dimpled. “And it feels _really_ good to know that you might like me back.”

Louis pushed against the sole of Harry’s feet again. “I think I’m starting to be sure.”

The two of them smiled at each other, continuing to do that, like complete fucking idiots. It wasn’t much, but it was a start.

★

Anyone who knew Harry, knew that he was probably the biggest Packers fan in Northridge, if not all of Wisconsin. He could recite the history of the entire franchise without taking a breath, he owned more merchandise than he could count, he constantly kept up with the team’s updates and news, he watched every game when it was on TV, and he even showed up to a few live games with his dad in tow, who was also a huge Packers fan.

So, naturally, game night was at Harry’s house. Liam and Harry were sporting the team Cheesehead hats, and Harry had even worn shoulder pads along with his jersey, while also holding his yellow helmet with the Packers logo on it. Niall was wearing a simple Packers t-shirt and relaxing with his feet up on the coffee table with a bowl of nachos on his lap. Louis, who’d sort of lost touch with the team since moving to New York, managed to find one of his old Packers shirt and settled himself down beside Harry to watch the game. He was more into soccer than football, but he still wouldn’t miss game night. And Zayn, being the odd one out, wasn’t wearing any merchandise and looked mildly disinterested, but watched nonetheless.

“I think we’re gonna win, Lou,” Harry whispered.

“You think?”

Harry nodded eagerly. “They’ve been doing so great all season and I just know we have this in the bag. Besides, the Cardinals _fucking_ suck.”

“Language, Harry,” Anne called from the kitchen.

Harry snuck a look in that direction, staking it out. “Was I that loud?”

“You do generally get louder during games,” Zayn said.

“Huh,” Harry mumbled thoughtfully before turning back to the game.

“You’ve got this all wrong,” Liam said. “The Cardinals are _decent_. If we lose, it’ll be because of our defense since that can’t do anything right.”

“Our defense is fine, _Liam_ ,” Harry argued, his voice growing louder again. “It’s fucking Rodgers!”

“Don’t you dare talk about Rodgers,” Liam yelled back. “He’s the best quarterback in Packers history.”

“Yeah, _fuckin_ , right,” Harry yelled sarcastically with an eye roll.

“ _Language_ , Harry!” Anne called from the kitchen again.

“There’s a game on, _Mom_. Can I _live_?” Harry yelled, turning to face the direction of the kitchen again.

“I will unplug that TV,” Anne warned.

Harry’s eyes widened in disbelief, but it got him to calm down a bit. He could _not_ have his mom turn off the TV when they were more than halfway through the game. He settled down in his seat, as did Liam. Zayn’s expression hadn’t changed since the game began and Niall had finished almost all the nachos. When he turned to look at Louis, his expression felt a lot softer.

It’d been awhile since they had sat this close together and Harry could mostly blame it on timing. After the two of them confessed their _feelings_ to each other up on the tree house, they hadn’t gotten a chance to be alone, really. Louis had to go a few towns over to see some of his relatives for a few days. And then whenever they made plans, somehow, the other boys found them and tagged along. Harry blamed it on the close proximity of their houses. It was a silent agreement on both their ends to not say anything to anyone about them until they were sure it was something to tell.

Harry had thought a lot about it and he understood that sometimes friends kissed and it didn’t always mean something. It was easy to mix that up with feelings. Still, Harry hoped that wasn’t the cause for Louis because it most definitely wasn’t for him. He’d been in love with Louis for years and Louis claimed to have feelings for Harry, too, but Harry still wanted him to be sure. Louis had explained that it was a new feeling for him and he hadn’t thought of Harry like that before, but was starting to. It was more or less a sense of hope.

Louis looked back at Harry and he had this look in his eye. Harry wasn’t sure quite sure what it was, but it seemed a little suggestive. He hoped that was what Louis was trying to convey. He raised his eyebrows back at Louis, waggling them with a dimpled grin, and the other boy stifled a laugh, turning back to the TV screen.

Thirty minutes later, the game ended with Harry and Liam throwing their empty plastic water bottles at the screen because the fucking Cardinals won. Then Harry’s mom came out and started scolding them, threatening to never let them have another game night if they were going to keep doing this. It’d been known to happen before, but usually when they won, it was even worse because out of sheer happiness, Liam and Harry turned over furniture and ran through their block screaming and shouting in pure joy. That happened last year and Harry had even ripped his clothes off in excitement, giving the neighbours and eyeful.

“Alright, boys,” Louis said, standing up from his seat. “I’ll  be heading out now.”

“Already?” Harry asked from his spot on the floor where he was picking up all the garbage they’d thrown as per his mom’s request. He figured he’d earned this punishment fair and square. “Don’t you wanna stay and hang out?”

The _with me_ part was left unsaid, but Harry was sure Louis understand. Louis gave him a sad pout. “I can’t,” Louis replied. “Mark’s coming over in a bit to pick up the girls and Mom wants me around to say hi to him. And then she wants the two of us to go out for dinner. I guess she wants to bond with me one on one.”

“But you live with her,” Harry pouted, standing up on his feet and trashing the garbage. “Doesn’t she get you enough?”

The other boys stared at the two curiously, wondering what Harry was getting at. He knew he was whining, but he felt desperate to have Louis in any way he could. Louis’d been gone for ten months and Harry fucking missed him. He deserved to bond with Louis just as much. It was a childish thought, but Harry couldn’t help it. Louis seemed to understand as much and his face softened considerably.

“Come and walk me out, Harold,” he said to him with a teasing tone, cocking his head to the side and giving him secret smile.

Harry felt his face color, both from his embarrassing tantrum in front of their friends and Louis’ tone. He followed Louis outside quietly and shut the door behind him. He could hear the TV volume turn up, the theme song of _Fresh Prince of Bel-Air_ sifting through the walls. Louis walked further out into the porch and turned to look at Harry. Harry bit his lip nervously, wondering what he was supposed to do. Clearly they weren’t _just_ going to say goodbye and walk into their respective homes.

“I’m sorry we haven’t gotten a chance to hang out,” Louis said, breaking the silence.

“Oh,” Harry mumbled. “Um, it’s fine. It’s not really your fault.”

Louis nodded slowly, walking up to Harry and closing the distance between them. “Are we okay?” he asked then.

“Why wouldn’t we be okay?”

“I don’t know,” Louis laughed, looking almost nervous. “We had a rather big talk a few days ago and I wanted to know where we stood.”

“Well, unless you’re telling me that you want to be with me, then I guess we’re still going with it.”

“Be with you,” Louis repeated slowly, looking like he was amazed that those words even came out of Harry’s mouth.

“Why did you say it like that?”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know,” Harry shrugged. “Why’d you repeat it?”

Louis shrugged himself then. “I’m just confused. Are you asking me to be your boyfriend or something?” Louis asked him, words rushing out, like he’d been holding them in.

Harry blinked at him, surprised and confused. “I mean, that would be the next step.”

“It feels a little weird.”

“A little,” Harry agreed.

“But right,” Louis said quickly. “It feels a little weird, but right.”

They were so awkward, but Harry agreed with Louis. It was all a little strange and weird, but felt right. He grinned happily, unable to help himself, and stepped closer to Louis, leaning his face close to nudge their noses together. Louis’ breath seemed to hitch and his eyes fluttered shut on their own before Harry could even press their lips together.

It felt better somehow to kiss Louis while sober. His lips were softer and he tasted even sweeter without that alcohol twinge. Harry walked Louis back until he was leaning against the porch railing and wrapped his arms around him, holding him close as Louis opened his mouth. His tongue worked against Harry’s and it was surprising to him that Louis was such a good kisser. He hadn’t kissed many people, or at least not that many that Harry knew of, but it was nice. He hoped he was good, too.

When they pulled away, both of them looked at each other for a moment before breaking out into shy giggles. They didn’t pull away, however, and Harry placed one, two, and three more kisses on Louis’ lips before letting him go.

“Can I see you tomorrow?” Harry asked.

“Yeah, of course. I’ll, um. I could call you or something,” Louis said, slowly walking down the steps.

“Sounds good,” Harry replied, leaning back against his front door and staring at Louis dreamily with a dazed look on his face. “Bye Lou.”

“Bye Harry,” Louis waved with a dopey grin, walking backwards across the lawn. He looked both ways on the empty street before turning back to Harry and blowing him a kiss. Before Harry could respond or react, Louis was sprinting back home, and Harry walked back inside with blushing red cheeks.

Later that night after the other three boys left, Harry cleaned up the living room before retiring up the stairs to head to bed. “Harry,” his mom called out, stopping him in his tracks. He looked down the stairs, glancing over at his mom as she popped her head out the kitchen doorway. “Mind coming in here for a chat?”

“Uh, sure,” Harry responded, making his way back downstairs again. He plopped down on one of the empty kitchen chairs and looked at his mom. She was leaning back against the counter and watching him with a small, but concerned smile. “What’s up?”

“I wanted to talk to you about something I saw earlier,” she started to say.

“Was it the throwing? Because I told you we’d stop that,” Harry quickly said. He really just wanted to go upstairs and text Louis or something. He’d seen him only less than three hours ago and he missed him terribly already.

“No, no,” she shook her head. “It was something else. After the throwing.”

Harry frowned at her, not quite getting what she was trying to say. He couldn’t think of anything else he’d done to upset his mom. But maybe he wasn’t about to get scolded because she didn’t really look mad. Just as he was about to question her and tell her to come out with it so he could leave, she continued.

“I was coming out to say goodbye to Louis, but you two had left the house already,” she started to say. Harry’s eyes widened then and he didn’t think he wanted to hear what his mom was about to say.

Fuck.

“Yeah,” Harry said quietly, scratching his hair. “Louis had to leave. He, um, he had plans with his mom.”

“Right,” she said slowly. “Well, I figured I could still catch him, but when I opened the door…”

Harry gulped, staring at his mom, and he knew he was caught. He wasn’t even trying to really hide it earlier because he wasn’t sure if there was anything to hide, but it was out there now. His mom had totally caught him and Louis making out. Should he have been more careful? Yeah, maybe, but he honestly had never thought much about telling his mom. His sexuality was still a mystery to him, so what was he meant to tell her? All he knew was that he wanted Louis.

“You don’t have to be scared, honey,” she said to him, coming closer and sitting on the chair beside his. “I just want to make sure I know what I saw.”

“Mom...I…,” Harry breathed out, trying to find the words.

“Are you and Louis dating?” she asked him.

“No,” Harry groaned out, feeling his face warm up from embarrassment. “We aren’t dating.”

“Oh,” she said with a surprised tone. “So, do you kiss all your friends goodbye?”

She was suddenly smiling at him teasingly and Harry groaned again, covering his face. His mom was actually making fun of him and he should be eons thankful that she wasn’t angry or homophobic or whatever, but still. He was not ready to have this conversation with her. He shook his head in response and she laughed, running a soft hand through his curls.

“You do like him, though, right?”

Harry looked up at her and slowly, precariously nodded.

“And he likes you, I’m assuming. I mean it sure _looked_ like he liked you.”

“Oh my God, please!” Harry begged.

His mom laughed, finding this whole exchange funny, much to Harry’s chagrin. “It’s fine, sweetie. You know it’s fine, right? I spoke to Johannah a few days ago and she told me about Louis. We had a long chat and I brought you up, too.”

“Brought me up? What do you mean?”

“Well, Johannah was telling me about all the signs that Louis had shown before he came out to her. And I realized that you also showed some signs. Some that I had missed before, but thought twice about. However, I just wanted to be sure and ask you before assuming anything.”

Harry hummed in response. He was really tired and he honestly hadn’t planned on coming out to his mom at all tonight, but it was out there now on account of she’d caught him making out with a boy and all. And regardless of what his sexuality was, he was happy his mom was so accepting and loving about it.

“Thanks, Mom,” Harry finally said, giving her a warm smile. She smiled back, opening her arms, and he leaned over and hugged her back. Breathing in her scent, he said, “I love you,” which she repeated back.

★

There weren’t many places in Northridge that Louis hadn’t seen before. He and his friends had discovered almost every corner and secret path that there was here, including the ones in Ridgebiew, their neighbouring town. So, when Niall led them through some thick woods and creeks to an abandoned railroad one day, they were all pretty surprised.

“Tell us again _how_ you found this place?” Liam asked, running a finger along one of the discombobulated train compartments. The door was open and Zayn had climbed up inside to check it out.

There wasn’t much to see since it was pretty broken down and empty, but it was still new ground, and after hanging out in the same few spots everyday, they were all yearning for a little something new. Louis reached up to grab onto a handlebar and lifted himself up, so he could climb up a pipe pole and get to the top of the compartment.

“You guys remember Stephanie Markus?” Niall asked with this shit faced grin on his face.

“She was in my homeroom,” Zayn said, his eyes flickering in recognition. “Brown hair up to her ass. Tall. She moved away, didn’t she?”

“Yeah,” Niall responded sadly. “We used to come out here and hook up.”

“And this was when?” Harry asked him.

“Tenth grade,” Niall replied.

“You’ve been holding out on this spot for the last two years?” Louis asked, looking a bit offended.

Niall nodded, like he wasn’t even trying to hide that fact. “Had to keep it sacred for as long as I could. I got my first blowjob here. Right there in that compartment.”

His finger was pointed towards the compartment that Liam was sitting in. “Ew,” Liam cried, jumping out. “Gross. Could still have your come shot in here.”

“No,” Niall shook his head resolutely. “She swallowed.”

“Whoa,” Zayn mumbled, looking shocked and a little awestruck, as did the other three.

Niall smiled at them jovially. He’d been the most experienced out of all of them growing up and none of them knew _how._ He looked innocent enough, but Harry, Liam and Zayn were still virgins while Louis only lost his recently to a guy back in New York. Niall had been boning girls since he was sixteen and having oral sex long before that. He liked to think it was the luck and charm of the Irish. Louis just thought he was a little shit.

“Hey Lou,” Harry called from below. Louis looked down from where he was perched on top of the compartment and watched as Harry grabbed the handlebar. “Gimme a hand.”

“No way,” Louis said, shaking his head with a scoff. “You’re fucking clumsy as shit and you will _definitely_ fall. You can’t come up.”

“Oh, come on, _Mom_ ,” Harry rolled his eyes. “I’ll be fine.”

Louis huffed out a breath at being called mom, but helped Harry up nonetheless. Just like he’d predicted, it was quite difficult because Harry couldn’t keep a grip on the pole since his hands were too clammy and when he landed beside Louis he toppled over. Louis stared at him in concern for a few minutes.

“I’m good!” Harry announced, grinning as he sat up properly. His eyes scanned the expanse, lighting up as he turned back to the others. “This view is sick, guys.”

Louis hummed in agreement before standing up and walking over to the top of the next compartment. Harry started to follow, scrambling to get up, but then his foot almost slipped through the crack and Louis let out his own scream as he grabbed onto him. “Jesus Christ, Harry,” Louis breathed out as Harry took a big stride to join Louis on the other compartment. “You’re going to give me a fucking heart attack.”

“I’m fine, Louis,” Harry laughed, catching his eyes in a gaze. “You worry a lot.”

Even though he probably meant it to sound like he was making fun of Louis, Harry’s face and tone was anything but. He looked fond and as though he liked the fact that Louis was looking out for him. Louis smiled softly. “Well, can’t have you falling and hurting yourself, you clumsy dingus.”

Harry grinned even wider, like the charming fucker he was. “Then hold me.”

“Hold you,” Louis repeated, rather than asking, even though he wondered how he meant. In the end, he just took Harry’s hand and held it as they walked further down over the other compartments, trying to see how far they could see. And Harry stumbled over his own two feet several times, but Louis’ grip didn’t loosen, nor did his heart stop beating as rapidly as it was. His stomach was swirling with butterflies and this was all from _holding hands_ with Harry.

They were such a fucking cliché.

Louis loved it, to be honest. He liked the idea of Harry holding onto him and trusting him to not let him get hurt. In those moments, Louis’ feelings for Harry continued to heighten, and he wondered if his feelings were always there for Harry because they felt so strong. Louis wanted to take Harry and put him inside of his heart and lock him in there because that was where Louis wanted him to stay. Forever, maybe.

Harry seemed to be faring similarly. His cheeks were pleasantly pink and he couldn’t stop smiling. After some time, his thumb started rubbing over Louis’ and it felt nicer than any hook up Louis had over the past year. When they walked back to the other boys, it was Liam who spotted them first, having climbed up a tree. His eyes zeroed in on their clasped hands and his eyebrows shot up, but then Zayn spotted them, too, and he was just smirking. It was Niall who spoke out about it.

“Aw, look,” he said. “It’s like when Harry was seven and needed you to hold his hand to go to places.”

“Shut up, Niall,” Harry grumbled, shooting him an embarrassed look. “It’s not like that anymore.”

“It’s not?” Liam asked, more curious than anything.

This time Louis shook his head in response. “It’s something more, isn’t it, Harry?” he turned to the other boy. Harry nodded with a shy smile.  

★

“Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars?” Harry belted out along with the radio. “I could really use a wish right now, a wish right now, a wish right now.”

He turned to grin at Louis, who was in the passenger seat, and smiling at him. Harry had one hand on the steering wheel and the other across the console, holding onto Louis’ hand. They hadn’t let go once during their drive. In fact, their hands seemed to be permanently stuck together ever since they clasped them together on that trip to the abandoned railroad. They held hands the entire way home, the other boys teasing them, and then when they got to Harry’s front porch, Louis seemed reluctant to let go.

“You could keep holding it if you like,” Harry had shyly said to him. “You don’t have to let go at all.”

“I think I’ll take you up on that offer,” Louis had said, while smiling. He then proceeded to ask Harry out on a date, which was pretty fucking huge. Louis had explained that since they were going for it -- whatever that entailed -- then he wanted to do it proper. Harry had obviously said yes, and quite embarrassingly as well. He was a blushing mess and probably said the word _yes_ thirty times in a row.

That was because a date meant something. It made whatever they were a little more solid and sure. Harry was as sure of his feelings now as he had been for a long time. What he was not sure of was Louis liking him back and being _romantic_ with him, so he was happy that Louis took the initiative and asked him out first. He knew Louis was at first a bit iffy about all of this because his feelings for Harry hadn’t surfaced until this summer, which was fine, really. Louis was trying to figure himself out and he’d never seen Harry that way. Everyone went through this self reflection period regarding their sexualities differently.

Their first date, after much back and forth debate late that night, ended up being at the Bradford Beach, a few miles away from Northridge. They loaded Harry’s truck with food for a picnic, blankets, all their swimming gear, towels, and Harry’s iHome for music.

The date couldn’t have gone better. The two of them had gone swimming in the water, splashing each other, and had breathing contests to see who could hold their breath the longest underwater. Afterwards, they took it back to their spot on the beach, had their picnic, and kissed. Kissing had becoming almost a habit for them as they’d been not only attached by the hand, but also by the lips, since the abandoned railroad trip. A kiss hello and a kiss goodbye became a regular thing, but Harry loved the kisses in between just as much. They’d then blasted “Tik Tok” by Ke$ha and sunbathed with their sunglasses and suntan lotion on.

It wasn’t until the sun started going down that they’d packed up and headed out for dinner at a restaurant nearby. Harry paid for them, despite the fact that Louis asked him out. Louis planned the whole beach part of it, so Harry also wanted to have some sort of an involvement. After dinner, they walked around for hours, just talking, and found themselves still catching up from everything they’d missed about each other the past few months while Louis was gone. They’d already caught up somewhat when Louis first arrived, but there still seemed to be so much that they wanted to tell each other. Louis had a bunch of new friends and experiences that Harry wanted to know about. He also asked Louis about the few guys he’d hooked up with back in New York. That was something Louis didn’t seem keen to talk about, not because they were bad experiences, but because he didn’t want Harry to feel bad or insecure hearing about them.

In the end, Harry didn’t really feel all that bad, just slightly jealous. But he made up for it by making out with Louis up against a tree in the silent streets until they decided they should head out. Harry ended up taking the long way home and drove through some abandoned roads, blasting the radio while the two of them sang along to whatever overplayed song was on.

“Today was fun,” Harry said to Louis after a moment. “I had _so_ much fun.”

“Me, too,” Louis said. “We should -- we should do it again.”

“Are you asking me on a second date?” Harry asked.

“Are you saying yes to a second date?”

“Would I ever say no to a second date?”

“Quirky little booger, aren’t you?” Louis asked him.

“Nah, just a bit of a crush on you.”

He hadn’t ever outright said it that way, so it made sense why Louis’ cheeks colored, and the smile on his face resembled one of a lovestruck schoolboy. Harry assumed he looked similar and it was honestly so silly how smitten he was. It felt like every moment spent with Louis was new and he couldn’t get over how much he felt. Love didn’t happen so quickly, but Harry was starting to think there were exceptions. There was something juvenile and innocent about them and he knew it might be too soon with how they’d promised they’d take it slow and just go with it, but he also didn’t care.

“Have I got you tongue tied, Louis?” Harry asked then, beaming at him.

“Shut up,” Louis laughed. “God, you’re insufferable. I’ve had enough of your wooing for one night.”

“You were wooing me all day,” Harry said.

“Did it work?”

“I just told you I’ve got a crush on you, asshat,” Harry said, shooting him a _what do you think_ look. “I think you’re good.”

“That’s good then,” Louis concluded. He was quiet for a moment and then, “I’ve got a crush on you, too. In case you didn’t get that.”

“Lucky me,” Harry said, his eyes on the road while he squeezed Louis’ hand. “Bobby Kawalski does not know what he’s missing out on.”

“Oh my God,” Louis cried, leaning his head back against the headrest on his seat. “Will you let that die?”

“That will die when I die, Lou. I’m sorry, but I don’t make the rules here.”

“You’re a little shit.”

“That’s on you because you have a crush on this little shit, don’t you?” He shot Louis the cheesiest smile he could manage and Louis laughed again.

As they continued to drive and talk, they noticed the strange noises coming from the engine as they neared a meadow road with creeks on the side. Harry shot Louis a confused look and Louis shrugged.

“Try restarting the engine or something,” Louis said. “I don’t know. I don’t have a car.”

Harry let out a short laugh as he pulled over on the side of the road and turned the engine off. When he attempted to turn it back on, the engine made a rumbling sound and shook before turning off again.

“What the fuck,” Harry muttered, trying to start it again, experiencing the same sound and problem. “What is going on?” He turned to Louis, eyes wide and panicked.

“I don’t know,” Louis responded back, looking just as bewildered. “Go out there and check your engine.”

“Are you joking?” Harry asked. “I know for a fact you’ve seen all the scary movies out there. You want me to go out there and get fucking killed by Jason?”

“ _Friday the 13th_ isn’t real, Harry.”

“The movie isn’t real, but I’m sure creepy places like this have creepy people who live here, and kill people. They don’t make movies like _Friday the 13th_ and _Jeepers Creepers_ just for nothing. There are mental, angry, murderous white people everywhere, Lou. No way in hell am I going to go out there and check the engine alone.”

“Fine, then I’ll go with you,” Louis said, already stepping out of the truck.

“Louis, what the fuck?” Harry squeaked. “Don’t go out there! I’ll call my dad.”

But Louis was already outside, walking over to the engine, and looking at Harry pointedly. When he jerked forward, flattening out on top of the hood of the car, and pretended like someone was grabbing him from under him, Harry quickly stepped out.

“I know you’re faking it, but I am still a concerned boyfriend, so I came out,” Harry said, shutting the car door behind him.

Louis stood up, straightening himself. “Boyfriend?”

Harry blinked at him owlishly. “Um...well. I just --.”

“It’s fine, H,” Louis said to him, a teasing smile on his lips. “I can be your boyfriend.”

Harry frowned at him, unsure, as he crossed his arms across his chest. “You can or you want to? There is a difference, I think. Plus, it sort of just slipped out of my mouth, but it’s also something I want?”

“Well, are you asking me if you want it or are you telling me?”

“We’re not very eloquent tonight, are we?”

Louis hummed as he shook his head, but closed the distance between them, cupping Harry’s face as he pressed a kiss to his lips. It was sweet and Louis tasted like the chocolate cake they had for dessert. “Want to be my boyfriend, Harry?” Louis asked.

“Do I ever?” Harry grinned, pulling Louis in by the waist and placing a hard kiss on his lips. “This is the best day and night ever. I wish I kept a diary or something so that I could go home and write about it.”

Louis laughed, taking Harry’s hand and pulling him towards the engine of the truck. “Alright. One, you used to have a journal up until the seventh grade when Gemma found it and read it. Then you swore you’d never have another one. And two, you can’t go home and do anything if we don’t get this car fixed.”

“I don’t know,” Harry said, despite following Louis. “I kind of don’t want this night to end. Can we keep going? I feel infinite.”

“Alright, Charlie,” Louis chuckled. “This isn’t _Perks of Being a Wallflower_. Fix this car.”

With that, he pushed Harry towards the hood of the trunk. Harry gave him a careful look before lifting up the hood and staring down at the different shit in there. It all gave Harry a headache and he honestly had no idea what was what. He only got this truck, like, five months ago and he’d always just taken it to the mechanics to fix it. This was actually a recurring problem, but something the mechanics were always able to fix until a few weeks passed and it started up again. He wondered if Louis could get Harry a discount if they went back and Bobby Kawalski was there. He wouldn’t ask him to flirt with him, but they knew each other so that had to count for something.

“Well, what are you staring at?” Louis asked Harry. “Fix it.”

Harry glared at Louis, turning to face him. “Who do you think I am? Bob the Builder? I don’t know how to fix this shit.”

Louis sighed, like he’d been expecting that and Harry just proved him right. “So, now what?”

“We could call up my dad like I’d suggested a while ago.”

“It’s past midnight. Is your dad even awake?”

“He’s going to have to be now.” Just then, an idea came to Harry. His eyes lit up and he smiled. “Or, we could just hang out a bit more.”

“And do what?” Louis asked. “I thought you were scared of being murdered by Jason.”

Harry shrugged, looking around the empty fields and then the creek on the other side. There clearly wasn’t much to do, but then when he glanced up, he smiled. He turned to grab Louis’ hand and tugged him towards the creek beds and made him sit with him. Louis watched as Harry lied back, staring up at the sky, and sat there quietly like he was waiting for Harry to explain.

“Let’s look at the stars,” Harry said. “I hear there are no stars in New York, so you guys really do have to pretend airplanes are shooting stars and make wishes on them.”  

Louis lied down then, a curious expression on his face, and seemed stunned at the amount of stars up in the sky. “No, we have stars,” he explained after a moment. “There are just too many lights to see them.”

“That must suck,” Harry said. “Look how beautiful they are. So shiny and bright.”

“Natural poet over here, ladies and gentlemen,” Louis commented sarcastically.

“Shut up.”

“Alright, alright. I do agree with you. It is beautiful. Very shiny, like your eyes.”

“No, like your eyes. In fact, the way your blue eyes shine put those stars to shame, Lou.”

“That’s a damn lie.”

“It is most certainly not.”

“You’re such a cheeseball,” Louis laughed.

Harry rolled over until he was flat against Louis’ chest. Louis’ eyes widened, surprised and taken aback, as Harry situated his legs on either side of Louis. He lowered his head slowly, like he was waiting for Louis to protest, which he didn’t, and then captured Louis’ lips into a kiss. While most of their kisses had been sweet and quick, this one was deep and frenzied. Louis’ hands came around to grip Harry’s waist, squeezing it in his palms, as Harry moaned quietly against his lips.

“Are you kissing me to shut me up?” was the first thing Louis asked when Harry broke the kiss.

Harry panted above him, his mind going clear and hazy, and shrugged. “Well, that, and I wanted to make out with you. Your lips taste good.”

“Like what?” Louis asked as Harry trailed kisses across his cheekbones.

“Chocolate cake.”

“So sexy,” Louis remarked sarcastically with a chuckle.

“Yeah, super sexy,” Harry said before kissing Louis again, his tongue immediately prodding into his mouth. They kissed until their mouths felt numb, and with each passing minute, Harry felt himself getting harder and harder in his pants. He had started grinding his hips against Louis’ without even realizing. It was when Louis grinded back that he felt the air being sucked right out of him.

Harry tucked his face between the crook of Louis’ neck, pressing soft kisses there, as he ground his hips forward. When Louis’ hands traveled down and squeezing his butt, Harry let out a low moan.

“I’m so turned on,” he whispered to Louis, lifting his head up. Louis’ pupils were blown, the blue around them barely visible, as Harry leaned to kiss him once more. He couldn’t help himself.

“Same,” Louis whispered back.

“I know that right now we’re just going with it, but I really wanna get off. With, um, you. With you. Um, please?”

Louis visibly gulped and shakily nodded. “Same, um. I’d want to help you get off. If you’re ready that is. Are you -- are you sure? I mean, I don’t want to rush you into doing anything you aren’t ready for.”

“Oh, _I’m_ ready,” Harry enthused, grinding his hard dick down to emphasize. Then he sat up, looking at Louis with a cautious expression. “Are you -- um -- are you ready?”   

Louis nodded again, sitting up to meet Harry halfway into a kiss. Harry’s heart raced in his chest as he panted and writhed on Louis’ lap. He had wanted the night to continue, but he didn’t think it would progress like _this._ He wasn’t complaining, however, because this was pretty fucking nice. Being a teenage guy, he’d obviously thought a lot about sex, but he never in a million years had he thought that Louis Tomlinson would get him off.

“We should go back to the truck,” Harry mumbled against Louis’ lips.

“Why?” Louis asked.

“Because if we do get murdered, I don’t want it to be while you make me come.”

Louis let out a laugh, leaning away from the kiss, and pulling Harry up. “You’re absolutely crazy.”

“Either that or you’re that one character in the movie who acts too brave and gets killed,” Harry said, following Louis to the car. When they reached it, Louis wrenched the backseat door open and shuffled inside with Harry coming in beside him. “But don’t worry. I will go before you do.”

“Very chivalrous and martyr-ish of you,” Louis complemented, pulling him in for a deep kiss. Harry grinned into it, climbing back onto Louis’ lap. He knew they’d gotten in the truck for a specific reason, but kissing Louis was quickly becoming his favorite hobby, and he wanted to take in as much as he could get.

That point came sooner than he thought when he found himself humping Louis against the car seat. Louis pulled away from him, tugging at his belt buckle to take it off. After much shuffling around, they managed to both get down to their boxers. The skin on skin contact had Harry feeling hot all over and he couldn’t help but let out a low moan when he felt Louis’ taking his cock in hand. Louis had laid him down on his back, hovering over him while placing soft kisses across his chest. His fist pumped Harry almost expertly.

“Feels so good,” Harry said. He wasn’t even sure if it was directed to Louis or just a thought for himself, but Louis didn’t say much, other than speeding up his hand’s pace. Eventually, he took his hand off, and pulled Harry’s boxers down. Harry watched him, wondering if this was a dream because Louis looked like one. He was so pretty and Harry could come just by staring at him, to be honest.

Louis smiled at him shyly before taking Harry in his fist again, stroking upwards then down, and spreading his precome. Harry let out an embarrassingly loud moan, but the way Louis’ hand worked on him was honestly enough to leave him an incoherent mess. He was inexperienced, yes, but Louis was just that good. He let his thumb rub over Harry’s pink tip, excruciatingly soft and gentle, and it didn’t take long for Harry to feel his orgasm coming.

“Lou, I’m gonna come,” Harry panted out.

Louis gripped him a bit harder, stroking once and then twice before Harry came, stripes of white dripping down Louis’ hand. He was heaving, breathless and sated, as he stared at Louis lower his head down again to lick up the come that was on his cock as well as the bit that got on his fist.

“You’re really hot,” Harry said with an admiring expression.

“So are you,” Louis said, climbing back on top of him and kissing him. “Did that feel alright?”

“Amazing,” Harry said. “You were so good. I want to do you now. Maybe you could do me again because I’m still so turned on. I promise I’ll try not to come too soon again. It’s just -- I’ve never done this and --.”

“I get it, Harry,” Louis laughed. “It was totally cool. And I’d love to keep giving each other hand jobs all night, but when are we going home?”

“Oh yeah,” Harry said. He’d completely forgotten that and he honestly blamed Louis. He could call his dad. He should have done that a while ago, but then Louis wouldn’t have given him a handjob. You win some and you lose some. That was really how life was. When Harry looked back at Louis, he noticed the window behind him all fogged up. He looked around the entire truck and found that to be for all the windows. It must have been all his heavy breathing and he couldn’t help but think of a certain scene from a certain movie.

Harry grinned, Cheshire Cat-like, and prodded Louis. “Hey, Lou.”

Louis raised his eyebrows at him questioningly.

Harry continued to smile as he lifted his hand up to the foggy window and let it drag down, imitating Rose from _Titanic._ Louis half laughed, half groaned as he covered his face. “Oh my God, Harry. You’re so fucking stupid.” Louis dug his fingers in Harry’s hips, making the younger boy squeal with laughter.

★

The streets were quiet on the walk back home. Louis was still trying to get used to it after hearing nonstop noise coming through his windows every day and every night. Over here, there wasn’t a soul in sight and the only noise he could hear were the crickets chirping in the bushes and Harry’s sneakers shuffling close behind him. Louis reached his hand back and Harry took it, entwining their fingers and catching up with him.

“I’m going to miss Liam,” Harry said to him, his quiet voice cutting into the silence.

Louis nodded in agreement. “Me, too. Sucks that he has to leave so early.”

The two of them, as well as Niall and Zayn, had gone over to the Payne household to help Liam pack the last of his things and bid him goodbye because he was leaving early in the morning for Penn State. Their football program had a hard regiment and they started training early for freshmen recruits, so Liam was the first one of them to go. There were still a few more short weeks to go until Louis himself had to leave, too, but he didn’t like thinking about that.

Thinking about it would mean realizing that the summer was almost ending. And this summer had been unexpected. Louis’d come back wondering what sort of trouble he and his friends would get up to and the amount of fun they’d have. He’d thought that he’d have lazy nights in where he’d binge watch TV shows and eat his mom’s cooking. Instead, he got Harry, long dates that he never wanted to end, and regular hand jobs. Since their first date, things had been moving relatively well between the two of them. While they still made time for their own families and best friends, they also continued to spend time with each other. It was all Louis really wanted to do. Some days they got creative with dates and went on long road trips like the first one and other days they liked staying in and even calling the boys to join. And despite that fact that they hadn’t moved past hand jobs and dry humping, Louis felt like he could be content with this life forever.

Harry was probably the sweetest boyfriend he could have ever hoped for. He was constantly attentive and kind, always up for any date, even when it was just a relaxing night in, and it didn’t hurt that he was also Louis’ best friend. He’d like to say that a lot had changed between them, which it had considering they were boyfriends now, but there was also an aspect to it that hadn’t. Their banter remained the same -- with an added addition of flirting -- and that same level of comfort did, too. Harry was the perfect package deal and Louis had no idea how he got so lucky.

The past couple of nights, they’d been sneaking in sleepovers, since their parents had gotten a bit strict about them since they found out they were _officially dating_. Suddenly, they had to leave the door open when hanging out and their sleepovers had to be supervised, but Louis blamed Niall for that. Him and his big mouth went and made some sexual remark in reference to Harry and Louis, which Lottie had heard, who in turn told his mom. It was a bit weird to know your parents knew you were sexually active and involved with your childhood best friend, but thankfully, neither really gave them a hard time about it.

Harry and Louis’ arrangement was simple. They would decide where they would sleepover and then the other would just sneak in when everyone else was asleep. It wasn’t that scandalous because most nights they didn’t really do anything other than sit on the roof and watch the sun rise in the morning. Louis loved the simplicity ofit. Loved how Harry’s head fit so well against his chest and how slow the sunrise was in the suburbs. It made him appreciate his hometown that much more.

He was also coming to the slow conclusion that he was falling in love with Harry. Of course, he’d always loved Harry as a best friend, but this was different. He loved Harry’s green eyes, he loved the way he looked at Louis, he loved how their hands fit, he loved how _they_ fit, he loved how it felt to kiss him. Louis loved being with Harry, plain and simple. And Louis wanted to tell him that, sooner rather than later. With every passing day and another X mark on his calendar that dreadfully counted down to when he was returning to New York, he felt more and more antsy about how little time he had left. He wanted Harry to know the extent of his feelings because Louis very much wanted to continue no matter how hard it was going to be.

“We should get up early and go see him again,” Harry said, leaning in close so that their shoulders brushed. “Liam would be surprised and I just -- I don’t know. I want to hug him goodbye again.”

Louis smiled fondly at him. Harry must be twice as upset as he was last summer when Louis left. It was one thing to lose one of your friends to college. It was another to lose three more, which left Harry all alone for a year. While the five of them had friends outside of their tight knit group, it was never the same as to what they had. Louis wasn’t even completely sure why. They were all quite different than one another, but alike at the same time. And sure, they had history, but everyone in this small town did. He decided then while looking at Harry that maybe they just all fit in a way that no one, not even them, would understand. Kind of like a jigsaw puzzle coming together.

“We could do that. Do you want to sleep over at mine tonight?” he asked Harry.

“I’d love to,” Harry preened, leaning in to press a big kiss on Louis’ cheek. “I should go home first, though. Mom’s making me roast beef.”

“Sounds yum.”

“Do you want to come?”

Louis shook his head. “Mom asked me to have dinner with her tonight. Wanted to tell me about some payment plan she has for my tuition and rent for the next year.”

“Fun,” Harry said dryly.

Louis sighed in agreement. “I’ll walk you to the door, though.” They’d approached their homes and the two of them walked across the street to Harry’s. When they climbed up to the porch, Louis pulled Harry close and kissed him soundly. It turned deep within minutes, but not in a frenzied way. Louis liked to call it their _love_ kiss. It made his insides feel like mush.

When Harry pulled away, he didn’t move far, and instead pressed his forehead against Louis’. “I don’t want you to leave,” he whispered. Louis had a feeling this was going to come ever since they got to Liam’s. Liam leaving was sort of a reminder that this summer wasn’t going to be forever and that Louis didn’t really live here anymore.

“I don’t want to leave either, H,” Louis said to him earnestly. “You know that.”

“I wish I could go with you. So much.”

“And I wish I could take you with me.”

“You should.”

“Don’t give me ideas.”

Harry chuckled against Louis’ mouth. “Well, fine. But next summer you can.”

Louis blinked at Harry with a surprised expression. “You’re applying to somewhere in New York?”

Harry gave him a semi-nod, bordering on shrug. “I mean, yeah, obviously. I’m also going to go for safe schools surrounding New York. Anywhere on the east coast, really.”

“That’s a surprise,” Louis said. “I didn’t expect that.”

“You didn’t?” Harry asked him.

“Well, I mean. You’ve always talked about moving to LA. California has been your dream for as long as I can remember. I just always thought you’d end up on the west coast.”

“That was before us.”

Louis pulled away slightly. “What do you mean?”

“I did want to go to west coast before. I even had my schools all picked out and then you came and we got together. So, I want to move to east coast to be with you.”

Oh.

 _Oh God_. While Louis had a feeling that was what Harry was hinting it, he still asked to make sure, and now that he’d bluntly said it, it only made Louis that much more unsure about what to even say to that because _no._ Harry must have sensed Louis’ hesitation or lack of positive reaction and a frown formed between his brows.

“Don’t you want that, too?” he asked.

“Harry,” Louis began slowly. “While I understand and respect what you want to do, I can’t let you do that.”

Harry’s frown deepened. “What do you mean you can’t let me do that?”

“You can’t rearrange your future, your plans and your dreams for me. That’s hardly fair to you and it’s a lot of pressure on me.”

“What the fuck are you on?” Harry half yelled, half laughed. “I want to do this for us. Do you think we can do a long distant relationship?”

“I had thought that was the plan, yes,” Louis admitted. “It would be a bit presumptuous and selfish of me to assume you would base your life around me.”

“There is nothing presumptuous or selfish about that. I want to do it.”

“No. You wanted to go to California. You only want to go to New York because of me.”

“I want to be with you more than I want to do anything, _Louis_.” Harry looked a mixture of angry and sad and Louis half wanted to hug him and kiss him, tell him everything was alright. But there was also another part of him that wanted to shake Harry and make him realize how silly this was. He had to see and understand why Louis was against this.

“I want to be with you, too, Harry,” Louis explained. “More than anything and forever. But right now...right now is your time to grow and do what you want and make your life how you always dreamt it. You can’t change all that and go to New York with me because what if it’s not what you expect and you hate it? You might hold that against me and resent me for it. I wouldn’t want that, and I definitely don’t want you unhappy. Having you with me would be amazing, but I can’t let you do that.”

Harry still didn’t look convinced. Instead, he looked even angrier. “You’re honestly so fucking confusing right now. I don’t understand why you don’t want me to do this. Do you not want me to be with you or what?”

“Did you not here what I just fucking said?” Louis cried, exasperated.

“I did, but I don’t get it.”

“You just didn’t want to get it because you want to be stubborn and do what you think is best, but you don’t realize how badly this could turn out.”

“I’m not some immature kid anymore, Louis. I think I’m capable of figuring out what I want to do with my life.”

“If you weren’t an immature kid anymore then you wouldn’t be making irrational decisions like this.”

“It’s not irrational. I’ve thought about it and this is what I want.”

“Can’t you think some more about this?” Louis asked him, moving closer only to have Harry back away with a shake of his head. It stung, but Louis was not going to budge from his decision. “You’ve got a few months until you have to start applying and you just need to think this through.”

“You want to have a long distant relationship for five years?” Harry asked him, then, eyes blazing. “You want to only see each other during holidays and call that a fucking relationship?”

“I’ve known you for ten years. We can get through anything. I have faith in us.”

“You didn’t answer my question.”

“Yes,” Louis nodded firmly. “I do think we can do this.”

“Yeah, well I don’t. I refuse.”

“Harry, you can’t be serious.”

“I am. I want to be with you. And I don’t understand why I’m the only one who wants this when you claim to also want to be with me.”

“I do want to be with you,” Louis said calmly. “But you are _not_ going to New York with me. Not until you’ve thought this through in a mature way.”

“Fuck you,” Harry spat, whirling around and opening his front door before slamming it behind him. Louis knew he crossed a line with the whole _mature_ thing, but Harry wasn’t being realistic at all.

Harry knew he wanted to go to west coast long before Louis even knew where he was going to school. And California looked like the place Harry belonged, they all thought so. So, for Harry to just drop that because of Louis would not only make him feel guilty, but it also would make him feel constantly responsible for him. And Louis didn’t want that. He didn’t want a relationship where he felt like he had to take care of his significant other. He wanted Harry to be able to stand on his own two feet and walk alongside him. Their friendship had blossomed into romance, but that shouldn’t change anything.

Louis knew loads of people who made the whole long distance thing work. In fact, one of his roommates had a girlfriend back home from where he’s from, and they’ve been making it work. It was hard, sure, but Louis didn’t doubt the strength of their relationship. It was the strongest thing in Louis’ life aside from his mom. However, despite the fact that he knew he was right, Louis also didn’t want to fight with Harry about it. He wanted to make up, but he decided to do it after Harry cooled down a bit.

Thirty minutes and a stressful dinner later, Louis made his way back over to the Styles residence. He decided to not bring in Harry’s mom or dad into it and called Harry, instead, to tell him he was downstairs. When the call went to voicemail, Louis texted him.

**want to talk. waiting downstairs on your porch for you.**

★

“Harry. Harry, sweetie, wake up.”

Harry’s tired eyes squinted open, finding his mom standing by his bed, wearing her mint green sleep robes. He rubbed at his eyes and rolled over onto his side with a yawn. “What is it?” He was exhausted, which made no sense since he went to bed as soon as he was done with dinner. He had just felt so tired and with everything that had happened with Louis, he didn’t want to deal with anything because his mind felt like it was running a mile a minute. Thinking about it now, first thing after he woke up, brought a wave of nausea with it and he wanted to go back to sleep where he didn’t have to worry about school, his future or love life. He was great at sleeping off his problems.

“It’s Louis,” his mom said, a worried expression on her face.

Harry was sitting up within a second, scrambling out of bed as his heart raced in his chest. “What about him? Is he okay?”

“He’s fine,” she quickly answered, stepping in front of him to put a hand on his shoulder to make him calm down. “He’s safe and fine. I just...I found him asleep on the porch.”

“What?” Harry muttered, confusion flooding his mind.

His mom nodded. “Found him passed out by the door. Would you know anything about it?”

Harry shook his head, confusion still etched on his face. He’d left Louis out on his porch, but he assumed he’d gone home. He then realized that in a fit of anger, he had thrown his phone on his closet, and never bothered to check it. Harry moved past his mom and made his way over to the closet where he found his phone wedged between his bookbag and a couple of textbooks. When he pressed on the home button, he found a number of calls from Louis and a single text saying he was downstairs. His chest ached in a way it had never before. When he got up and turned to look at his mom, she looked just as concerned.

“Is everything alright?” she asked.

Harry nodded shakily. “I’m just going to go check on him. Is he still out there?”

She nodded. “Had no idea what to do with him.”

Harry gave her a meek smile before making his way downstairs. His dad waved him hello from the kitchen table as he worked through his breakfast and Harry gave him a weak wave back. He felt like shit. How could he have just gone to bed when Louis was out here _all fucking night?_ Harry was the worst boyfriend in the history. He honestly had no idea that Louis would do this, but then again, they hardly ever really fought. This was very unlike them. Usually their arguments would either get resolved right away if it wasn’t too bad, but other than that they’d always gotten along. The most they’d ever really done was ignore each other for a few days, but that was back in elementary school and it was playground stuff. This was their first fight as a couple.

When Harry opened the front door, he saw Louis curled up against the wall, sound asleep. His heart did that achey thing again and Harry bent down, scooping Louis up in his arms and kissing everywhere he could reach. It stirred Louis awake and he blinked blearily at Harry, probably confused as ever.

“Hi, Lou,” Harry said.

“Good morning,” Louis said. “My back is killing me.”

Harry leaned forward, kissing him again. “I’m so sorry. C’mon. Come up with me. You can sleep in my bed.”

Before Louis could say anything more, Harry had him up on his feet, and led him inside the house. Harry’s mom gave them a small smile from the kitchen and Harry smiled back. He would probably have to explain to her later what happened, but for now, he wanted Louis to be in bed and comfortable. When they got to his room, Harry closed it behind him, despite the no closed doors rule and helped Louis out of his shirt and jeans before leading him into bed.

Once they were both snuggled up and facing each other, Louis seemed wide awake. “What the hell were you thinking?” Harry asked.

Louis shrugged. “Didn’t want to go to bed with you being mad at me. I tried calling and leaving messages, but…”

“I had gone to bed and my phone was in my closet. I still should have checked. I’m so sorry,” Harry said, leaning forward to kiss him. He sucked on Louis’ bottom lip, wrapping an arm around his waist. He just felt so utterly in love with this boy all the time. Harry didn’t think anything would ever feel as good as it did when he was with him. There was so much of Louis in Harry’s heart that he couldn’t take it most days.

Louis’ hands moved up to hold Harry’s face, their kiss seemingly innocent, but still fulfilling. Harry never wanted it to end. He never wanted this moment or feeling to end because it felt so pure and real. Even though things still felt a little up in the air, Harry was happy and content.

“I’m sorry,” Louis whispered against his lips.

“I am, too,” Harry whispered back.

Louis fluttered his eyelashes open, looking at Harry with clear, blue eyes. “I love you, you know.”

Harry smiled, leaning in closer. “I love _you._ I am so in love with you, pathetically so.”

Louis laughed, kissing Harry again, and they continued to whisper those three words to each other while exchanging kisses. It wasn’t until they heard two cars start up outside and leave Harry’s driveway that they realized they were alone. Harry quirked a suggestive eyebrow at Louis, who couldn’t help but laugh.

“What is it?” Louis asked as Harry straddled his waist.

“I really want to blow you.”

Louis’ eyes widened. “ _Now_?”

“Got the house all to ourselves, Lou,” Harry said, smirking as he slid down the bed and was face level with his crotch.

“That is true,” Louis mumbled, his voice trailing off as Harry cupped him over his boxers. “Um. Are you sure?”

“Yes,” Harry deadpanned. “Why would I not be sure?”

Louis shrugged, watching helplessly as he thickened up under Harry’s hand. “I just wanted to make sure.”

“As long as we’re both sure,” Harry mocked him, other hand tracing over the hem of his boxers. They both locked gazes for a second and they just knew. Harry slowly pulled Louis’ boxers off and his cock curved over his stomach, thick and leaking already. Harry hadn’t ever seen a cock up close that wasn’t actually his, so it was a bit of a moment for him. He watched it, almost admiringly so, before thinking of how he was going to go about it.

This was Harry’s first blowjob, after all, and he wanted to be good. He decided to just go for it and hope it came to him as time went on. He leaned down, slowly sucking the tip into his mouth, testing it out for taste and feel. It wasn’t so bad, a bit salty, but kind of nice, too. He let his lips slip further down, sucking in more of Louis’ cock. It seemed to be good because Louis was wriggling underneath him, eyes closed as he let out soft whimpers. In the end, he reached his hand out and ran it through Harry’s hair, making him preen with how good it felt.

“Are you okay?” Louis asked Harry, once he pulled off for a breather, and stroked Louis, spreading his precome back.

“Peachy,” Harry grinned before going back down again. He took in more with each break and only choked once, tears spilling over his eyes, but it didn’t deter him. Harry was enthusiastic and on a mission to make Louis come. It was a good thing Louis was close, his moans getting louder with each swirl of Harry’s tongue. He could feel himself tenting in his own pajama bottoms and he wondered if Louis would blow him after this, too. He’d have to ask him once he was done.

That moment came sooner than Harry thought. After a few more moments of bobbing his head up and down, stroking whatever he couldn’t reach, Harry felt Louis pull on his hair harshly. He pulled of with a loud pop and Louis came all across his chest. Some even landed on Harry’s cheek, which caused them both to laugh. Louis wiped it off for him and then pulled him in for a kiss.

“C’mere,” he said, smiling blissfully.

“I’ve got morning _and_ dick breath,” Harry informed him, hovering over Louis’ body.

“Mmmm,” Louis moaned against Harry’s lips, making them both laugh again. “So sexy. I love it.”

“Love you.”

“You, too.”

★

Time was a weird concept.

Harry knew it existed and that it passed, but when it did, you didn’t really feel it. You could be seven years old and playing with your best friend up on a tree house one day, but the next, you’re sixteen and falling in love with that same boy. Time was fleeting and it ran. It didn’t stop for anyone, no matter how much they wanted it to, no matter how much _Harry_ wanted it to. He knew that when he first saw Louis standing on his front porch in the beginning of the summer, wanting it to pan out as slowly as it could so that he could relish and breathe in every moment spent with him.

And that was life, he supposed, but it just felt unfair. Everyone else seemed to understand it for what it was, but Harry was angry and so fucking despaired when the day Louis was leaving finally came. Everyone went about their regular routine, helping Louis pack up and load his car, but Harry stood on the side just staring at them like a robot because was he really about to leave for several months again? Louis hadn’t made promises to be home for Christmas and Harry seriously doubted he’d come. Lottie had been telling him that they were thinking of meeting Louis in New York this year, instead.

So where did that leave them? They weren’t breaking up as far as Harry knew, but he couldn’t fathom waking up the next day and not having Louis across the street. He couldn’t even think about not seeing him later that night and kissing him to sleep. It brought a wave of pain through his heart and he just felt himself breaking.

They were all standing in Louis’ driveway, saying goodbye to Louis, as well as Zayn who was leaving to the airport with him. Both their families and Harry’s had showed up. Niall had left a few days ago for Florida, looking beach ready and excited. Zayn looked just as happy, and Harry thought once again for the hundredth time that summer how unfair it was that he was being left behind.

“Harry,” Zayn beamed, walking up to him and pulling him into a hug. “Don’t look so glum. You’ll be out of here in no time, too.”

When he pulled away, Harry tried mustering up a smile. “Thanks, Zaynie. Gonna miss you.”

“Gonna miss you more, H. You should come by for a visit.”

That was another thing. Louis hadn’t touched upon Harry going to the east coast for school since their argument. Harry wasn’t sure if it was because he claimed defeat or he’d said what he needed to and was leaving the rest up to Harry. That argument had been on Harry’s mind on and off throughout their last few weeks together. He was honestly trying to see it from Louis’ point of view, but he couldn’t understand how Louis would think Harry would be unhappy about staying with him there. It made zero sense, but he didn’t broach the subject either. He let it be and hoped it would be resolved when time came. All he wanted to do the last few days they had left was to soak up the sun some more with the boy he was so in love with that sometimes that he couldn’t think straight.

Harry gave Zayn another meek smile. “Sure. I’ll try.”

With that Zayn moved onto saying goodbye to his sisters. Across the lawn, Louis was saying goodbye to his own, and Harry watched quietly, waiting for Louis to make his way over to Harry. There was a part of Harry that wanted Louis to come to him as soon as possible, wanting to take in as much time as he had left with him, but there was another part of him that wanted this to stretch out. He wanted time to stay still for a few seconds or minutes or hours just so Louis could be right there in solid form in front of Harry.

Sadly, it didn’t work like that.

Louis turned to look at Harry as soon as he was done giving Daisy a hug goodbye. It seemed he was looking for him because his eyes landed on Harry right away. He gave him a small smile and gestured over to the side of the house. Harry followed him wordlessly past the garage and into the backyard where Louis tugged on his wrist and gently pushed him against the tree trunk of their tree house.

Harry instinctively leaned forward for a kiss and it was messy, desperate and not as perfect as Harry wanted it to be. But it fit the moment. Louis indulged him, kissing him back deeply, and holding him close. When Harry felt his bottom lip quiver and his eyes sting from tears, Louis pulled away.

“Harry,” he whispered, kissing his cheek where a tear rolled down. “Please don’t cry. It’ll be okay. I promise.”

“I know,” Harry nodded, because he did. “It just sucks and it hurts, anyway.”

Louis hugged him then, holding him tightly. “I love you, Harry. I promise we can do this. Just keep faith, yeah?”

Harry nodded again, wiping at his eyes. “I’m sorry for crying. And I love you, too, Lou. Love you so much.”

“I love _you_ so much,” Louis said.

They hugged and kissed for a few moments more before Zayn started calling out for them to hurry up. Time was up and it had gone once again like it always did. They walked back out to the others, hand in hand, their hold tighter than it had been any other time all summer. They only pulled apart when Louis got in the car and even then he pressed a kiss to Harry’s cheek one last time before going in.

Harry watched quietly as the car backed out of the driveway. Louis poked his head out and watched him back and they didn’t look away until the car was out of sight.

★

At first it was pretty easy keeping in touch, which Harry was happy about. September had been a month full of tears, but Harry was glad that he got to talk to Louis as much as he did. They kept in touch throughout the day with texts and then at night, they video chatted. Harry told Louis about how boring it had become in Northridge and that he’d taken to hanging out with Jonny and Ellis a lot more than he used to, which was nice. Louis told Harry about New York in return. He had shown Zayn around, but was also giving him space to figure things out on his own.

They also spoke words of love, proclaiming how much they missed each other and couldn’t wait to see one another, whenever that would be. It sucked that their budget was low, otherwise they’d try and make it in every break they had. If only.

And then once October and November rolled around, it suddenly wasn’t as easy anymore. School was not only hard on Louis, but Harry, too. It was difficult juggling his schoolwork along with college applications being thrown at him left and right. When he applied, he applied to both schools on the east coast as well as the west. He hadn’t brought it up with Louis because he wasn’t sure how he’d react knowing Harry had applied in New York after all. With the little time they did have to talk, Harry did not want to argue or fight with him.

Daily video calls and texts became difficult and even texting was scarce. The only thing that gave Harry hope were the promises that Louis whispered to him when they did talk. “I love you and I’m sorry this can’t be easier. I promise it will be, though.”

★

“Lou-eh,” Zayn sing songed as he drunkenly threw his arm around Louis’ shoulder. “What’s the matter?”

Louis looked over at his best friend and didn’t know what was more sad. The fact that they’d been at this bar on the Lower East Side for over two hours and Louis was nowhere near as drunk as Zayn or that he didn’t know where to begin to answer his question. Louis knew he was moping. He was distant and keeping to himself in the corner of the bar while his friends and Zayn all hung out along with a few people Zayn met at SVA, but he had a good reason.

It’d been a week since Louis spoke to Harry. _A whole fucking week_. The last being on Harry’s birthday when they video chatted until they’d fallen asleep. Since then, Louis had an onslaught of exams, and he only texted the other boy in passing. And this wasn’t the first time this had happened, but tonight Louis just really missed Harry. He _really_ fucking missed him and if it was up to him, he would be _walking_ back to Northridge just to see him right now.

Louis was the one who’d said that this wouldn’t be so bad and that they could do it, but now he was doubting himself. Harry’d also been acting a bit withdrawn, and Louis wondered if it was because of college pressure. Louis knew Harry applied to a lot of places, but he wasn’t sure where. Whenever he asked, Harry would brush off the topic, which made Louis suspect he was purposely keeping silent on the issue. It wasn’t like Harry to keep any big moment in his life from Louis, but Louis didn’t push him either. When the time came, he knew Harry would bring it up as colleges sent out acceptance letters around this time. It was a big decision to make, and he wanted to help, but Louis had no idea how to bring it up when they did talk. He didn’t want a repeat of their first fight.

And if that wasn’t bad enough, Louis had failed one of his midterms and it was one of those classes that only had two exams for grading aside from participation and attendance, so Louis felt stressed and he just wanted his boyfriend to console him. However, his boyfriend wasn’t answering his phone. Louis had called five times since they’d gotten to the bar, desperate to hear Harry’s voice.

Zayn, who’d known Louis all his life, smiled at him sympathetically as though Louis didn’t even need to tell him. “It’s Harry, isn’t it?”

Louis nodded. “I haven’t spoken to him in a while and I just miss him.”

“He’s probably caught up with something. You know how distracted he can get sometimes,” Zayn said. “But you shouldn’t mope. Moping solves nothing.”

“You’re right,” Louis agreed, even though he knew that it wasn’t going to stop him. It was just one of those nights where he felt depressed and nothing anyone said could help fix it. Except maybe if Harry picked up his fucking phone.

“I am,” Zayn insisted. “Just have fun now and then by the time you wake up tomorrow, Harry will have called you back and you’ll see it’s fine.”

Louis sighed, feeling like more weight was being put on his shoulders at his next thought. “I don’t think it’s really working,” he said.

“What isn’t?” Zayn asked, looking confused. He was probably too drunk to be having this conversation, but he also probably didn’t want to be a bad friend.

“Our relationship,” Louis said. “I just feel like the worst boyfriend ever. I can’t physically be there. I can’t find the right time to call him. And I don’t even have the money to fly back and forth to visit. Harry deserves more than that. He deserves a boyfriend who will be there with him.”

“Lou, don’t be stupid,” Zayn said, suddenly sounding a lot more sober than he looked. “You’re a great boyfriend. Harry loves _you_. You’re just having a bad night and a stressful week. Listen to me and come have a drink. C’mon.”

“I don’t know, Zayn. I was thinking of just leaving, to be honest with you. I’m clearly not in the mood,” Louis admitted.

“Oh, bullshit,” Zayn shook his head. He called the bartender and asked for another beer before leading Louis over to the rest. It seemed Louis didn’t have a choice, but before he took a sip of his drink, he sent a quick text to Harry. One last one because he knew he was going to just get shit faced if he had to stay and be miserable.

**miss you and love you**

**★**

Louis’ face filled Harry’s phone before it started ringing. Usually, his heart would leap in his chest and he’d be flailing to answer the phone, however, as of late, it didn’t make him feel the same. Instead, it made him sad, because their conversations were usually of that sort. Things had been weird with Louis. They were distant and it was all due to timing because they were constantly busy. While Louis struggled to keep up with his classes and a really hard course that he was struggling with, Harry was back home and preparing for graduation as well as his decision as to which college he was going to be going to.

Harry had gotten into NYU, which was no easy feat, and UCLA, too, which at one point was his first choice. He’d gotten into a few others, but it was between those first two that he was going to be making a choice. And while Harry had been determined to go to east coast to be with Louis, with the way things had been going between them, something seemed to stop him from sending in his deposit for his spot. He couldn’t tell if it was fear, or insecurity, or if he was starting to finally see what Louis was trying to tell him all those months ago. Harry didn’t want to doubt their relationship because he knew it was strong, but lately, he couldn’t help himself.

“Hello,” Harry answered.

“Hey Harry,” Louis said on the other end, his voice a bit tinny.

A small smile spread across Harry’s face. Just because things had been strained didn’t mean that he didn’t love Louis any less. He really missed him and hearing his voice helped just the slightest. “How are you? What’s been going on?”

“Nothing much. Just finished one of my finals. How are you?”

It all seemed a little formal for some reason. Harry had no idea why or how. Before, it seemed easy, but now it just seemed almost forced. Still, he continued. “I’m good. Graduation is next month, so everyone is excited. We’ve barely been showing up to classes, though. Mostly we just hang by Rita’s around the corner and have ice cream because the school building is unbearably hot.”

“I remember those days,” Louis chuckled. “God, I wish I could go back. Everything is so complicated and hard now.”

“Yeah?” Harry asked.

“Yeah,” Louis responded. “I failed one of my finals.”

“Oh no, Lou,” Harry said. “Which one was it? Don’t tell me it was _that_ one.”

“It was _that_ one. With my sixty four percent on the midterm and the failing grade on my final, my professor told me today that I’ll have to retake the course.”

Harry sighed deeply. “I’m so sorry. That sucks.”

“It does,” Louis said, clearing his throat. “It’s actually why I called.” He paused for a moment as Harry waited. “It turns out that if I don’t take this course this summer, then I’ll have to take it later and won’t be able to graduate on time.”

“Oh,” Harry breathed out, surprised. “Which means…”

“Which means I won’t be coming home this summer.”

Harry didn’t know what to say, so he didn’t say anything at all. If he opened his mouth, then he knew he was going to whine and get upset, which he didn’t want to do because it wasn’t even Louis’ fault. However, he hadn’t seen Louis in person for ten months and with the way their relationship was progressing, it wasn’t going upwards, but instead felt like it was going down. The faith that Harry had in Louis at first regarding this whole thing was diminishing and he just felt a little lost and completely torn apart in that moment.

“I’m so sorry, Harry,” Louis said softly. “You have to know I can’t do anything about this, otherwise I would.”

“I know,” Harry said slowly. “It just sucks.”

“It does. And I’ve decided that it’s completely unfair of me to ask you to sit around and wait for me to get my shit together. It’s not fair on you or me, to be honest. I know I can’t have been the only one that has been _miserable_ these past few months.”

Harry blinked, suddenly feeling like he could barely keep up with what Louis was saying. “Well, no, you haven’t.”

“I know and I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I’ve been the suckiest boyfriend. You deserve so much better. Fuck.”

He found himself frowning. “What did you mean when you said you can’t ask me to sit around and wait for you to get your shit together?”

Louis let out a short laugh, sounding tired all of a sudden. “It means I’m a fucking failure at everything. I fucked up this course and it’s requiring me to use money straight out my pocket to pay for it because fucking FAFSA won’t cover it. All because I’m a dumb ass who couldn’t grasp the concepts right the first time around and then there’s you. I hate that I can’t give you the time you need me to. You need me there in Northridge and I’m all the way here. We haven’t been able to see each other in months and it’s because of me.”

“Yeah, but I agreed to this. I agreed to a long distant relationship.”

“Did you expect me to not show up for months on end? I can’t even give you a solid idea as to when you’ll get to see me again. Don’t you see how bad this is?”

“Bad?” Harry asked. “Are you calling our relationship bad?”

“I’m not calling it bad. I’m calling the situation bad. It’s unfair to you and to me. It’s not only upsetting you, but it’s also adding on pressure to me to do better even though I’ve been trying the best I could.”

“Oh, well, I’m sorry having me as a boyfriend has been so stressful for you, Louis,” Harry snapped.

Louis was quiet for a moment, probably not expecting that. And then, “you know that’s not what I meant, Harry, so don’t twist it.”

“It sure sounded that way.”

“Well it’s fucking not.”

“I’m over this conversation. Can you just finish what you have to say?”

“Oh, so now you want to hang up and ignore your phone for the rest of the day, like you always do?” Louis asked him. “Is that really any way to solve an issue?”

“Now there’s an issue?”

“You’re being so difficult, Harry, and I don’t need this. I’m sorry that this conversation took this turn and I know you’re upset with me, so just talk it out.”

Harry grunted in response, not wanting to add anything. To that, Louis let out another tired sigh.

“I don’t want to fight,” Louis said. “I just...I feel like we need to just step back and take a breather. I’ve got three more finals to go and then I need to figure out housing options and my bills to see how I’m going to pay for this class. I have to find a job, too, which won’t be easy. After that, I need to focus on this class so I don’t fuck it up again.”

“Alright,” Harry said, short and irritated.

“Did you hear me?”

“Yes, Louis,” Harry pressed with gritted teeth. His mind was on a loop, replaying this conversation, and all the things Louis was saying. How he wasn’t going to be back for the summer, how he didn’t know _when_ he was going to be able to see Harry, and how stressful this has been for him. He made it sound like it was a burden no matter what he said to deny that. And Harry tried just as hard, too, for this relationship and yet he never complained. He stayed up long nights to talk with Louis and he gave up nights out with his friends who actually still lived here. This wasn’t all Louis. Harry did just as much.

“I think a break would be good,” Louis started to say and wait -- _what_? “It could lessen the added pressure on me and I could just. I don’t know. Feel like myself again because I haven’t been. I feel like shit all the time and I --.”

“A break?” Harry asked, interrupting him.

Louis paused. “Yes.”

“You want to break up with me?”

“No,” Louis said. “I just need some time apart and figure this all out. Harry, did you hear anything I just said?”

“Loud and fucking clear,” Harry said angrily. “Honestly, Louis. You were the one who told me to do this. You wanted a long distant relationship, and when I told you that I wanted to move out there with you shot that idea down, too. And now when your own plan isn’t working, you’re just letting me go. This clearly shows how much you’ve tried.”

“Don’t fucking do that, Harry. Don’t fucking say that I didn’t try or that I didn’t want you to move out here for my own selfish reasons. I said that for you. You don’t want to be here for anything but me and that’s not fair.”

“Right,” Harry said. “You know better than me what I want. And even then, it’s always going to be about what you want. And you want a _break_.”

“ _Harry_.”

“Well, fine. Let’s take a fucking break. Don’t call me, don’t text me, and don’t try to reach out to me.”

With that, Harry threw his phone across his bed, covering his face with his hands. He felt warm all over from anger, but his shoulders shook from the deep, shaky breaths he was taking. The saddest part was that a part of him had knew this was going to happen. He had felt it for some time now, but it stung nonetheless. The fact of the matter was that people left this town all the time. They wanted to get away from the little suburbia and move on, but what hurt the most was that Louis made it seem different. He made it feel like he’d return to this little town just for Harry. He made him feel so special and now he made him feel unwanted, like stress and a burden.

★

Harry mailed in his deposit for UCLA the next day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry about that ending!!!!! i'll try and work on the third part asap. for updates, just follow me on [tumblr](http://softasurcheek.tumblr.com/)


	3. nineteen and twenty-one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis had hoped that even if they never got back together as a couple, they could at least be friends. But maybe there was too much history and too many memories for them to move past it all. Perhaps it was naive of Louis to think that. It was also naive of him to think Harry wouldn’t ever change, or that the things he was most afraid of were actually happening, and not just exaggerated in his head. But he didn’t expect _this_ much of a difference. 
> 
> Harry seemed like a completely new person. When Louis looked at him, he felt like he barely recognized the boy looking back at him. There were the obvious, physical changes -- growth spurt, long hair, and tattoos. But the coldness in his eyes couldn’t have been due to growing up. Harry’s lovely green eyes used to shine bright, like pretty lights, yet when Louis looked in them tonight it looked like someone had burned that light out. 
> 
> or
> 
> Louis and Harry reunite for the first time during spring break at Panama City Beach since their breakup two years ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've once again taken way too long to finish this, but in my defense, i did my best with everything else i had going on. i won't be taking on any other projects while this series is still in progress (at least nothing immediate). there will be another two more parts, so heres hoping i can get it out with in a month or two!  
>   
> so as you all know, this was initially a part of an exchange, and i was/still am filling out a prompt for user 'blurred.' she gave me three prompts, and two of them really spoke to me and became what this fic is now. the first prompt was filled out in part one. the other prompt she gave me fills out both part two and this part.  
>   
>  _au where louis and harry used to date (when they were still in high school, probably 16/17 around that age) but louis breaks harry's heart and moves somewhere really far away. then they meet at a wild spring break party a few years later and harry has turned into a total out of control badass rebel because of the heartbreak he'd suffered (haha) and when he sees louis he's really pissed off and etc and louis really wants him to revert back to the sweet loving boy he once was?? just an overall angsty fic where they make up in the end but before that harry's all like "you broke my fucking heart" and just anything along those lines wow this was really long i'm so sorry_  
>   
>  i hope you guys like it and that it gives you the closure that you needed since the last part! but of course, i couldn't have done it without my betas! thanks a million to [elizabeth](https://taketothesea.tumblr.com/) and [stephanie](http://stephloveslarry.tumblr.com/) for helping me and joining the team!!!  
>   
> [fic page](http://softasurcheek.tumblr.com/lpl) // [playlist](http://8tracks.com/wildest-dreams/like-pretty-lights) // [post](http://softasurcheek.tumblr.com/post/152124801195/fic-like-pretty-lights-author-wildestdreams)

The chorus of “Versace” started blaring from Zayn’s phone, filling the otherwise empty hallway of his and Louis’ apartment building with sudden noise. Louis shot Zayn a look, gesturing for him to quickly pick up before Mrs. Norris from next door poked her head out and started yelling at them to quit the racket. Louis liked Mrs. Norris most of the time because she always shared her weed brownies with them, but she was also sixty years old and cranky unless high, and he did not want to get on her bad side, especially after the week he’d had.

Since spring break was starting this weekend, professors piled on the assignments and last minute exams. Louis probably slept a total of seven hours in the past week and lived on a diet of strictly coffee and Kraft mac and cheese. Now that he was done with all that, he was ready to just sleep in until classes started up next week. He would have gone home, but his mom went on some trip with her new boyfriend, Dan, and the girls to Chicago. She asked Louis to come with as well, but he didn’t really feel like joining. He would much rather relax and smoke a few joints with Zayn. Maybe they could go for a movie, too, if they felt like getting a little crazy.

“It’s Niall,” Zayn told him, answering the call with a grin just as Louis approached their front door and unlocked it. “Hey, Ni!” Zayn put his phone on speaker, slipping out of his shoes, and heading straight for their used couch that they found on the streets in Brooklyn a year ago.

“Zaynie!” Niall greeted happily. “What’s up? Are you done with your classes yet?”

“Yeah, just got done yesterday. Lou finished today,” Zayn informed him, making himself comfortable in a lying position. “What about you?”

“Got done today, too, so I’m off to Panama City Beach. And you two are coming with,” Niall announced.

“Coming with where?” Louis frowned, looking in Zayn’s general direction. He’d headed into the kitchen, grabbing the only drink he could find in the fridge aside from Zayn’s half drunk Gatorade -- Nesquik strawberry milk.

“ _Spraaang break, bitches_ ,” Niall shouted, clearly trying to do his best James Franco impersonation. “Liam and Harry are on their way as we speak.”

“What?” Zayn asked, laughing.

“Who made this plan?” Louis asked. “When was it made? Why is this the first we’re hearing of it?”

Niall cackled into the phone, always so amused. “You guys ask so many fucking questions. Well, if you must know, I was talking to Leemo last night and we realized that Louis’ going to graduate soon, as are the rest of us, and we have yet to do spring break together like we always wanted to. We figured now would be the perfect time. Liam and Harry aren’t going back home this time and neither am I. And last I checked, neither were you two -- unless something changed?”

Zayn looked over at Louis from his spot, a lazy smirk on his lips. “Nope. Nothing’s changed.”

“Well, then get your asses down here. I’ve got two rooms big enough to fit all of us and a few other friends if you catch my drift. It’ll be fucking lit.”

Zayn continued to stare at Louis, clearly trying to gauge his reaction to this proposal, and in the end Louis just gave him a shrug in return. His plans for spring break were about to be completely flipped, and he wasn’t quite sure how he felt about that. More so, he wasn’t sure what he was meant to do now that he was about to see Harry after almost three years. How they managed to avoid each other when they lived across the block from one another back home was beyond Louis, but he knew deep down that Harry was avoiding him like the plague.

Louis didn’t blame him.

After their tumultuous fight over the phone and subsequent break-up, things didn’t really resolve between them. Louis tried calling Harry for a few days, but when Harry refused to talk to him, Louis was done trying, angry at the younger boy for being a grudge holding dick. Louis then found out from Facebook, of all places, that his best friend was indeed going to UCLA, which meant his desire to come to New York was no more,  just like their relationship.

It occurred to Louis several times since then that he should try again -- explain to Harry how difficult that time was for him. Louis spent that entire summer after their breakup alternating between crying and getting angry while also trying to get his school and financial life together. But in the end, he didn’t reach out because it seemed Harry had moved on. He left for California sometime that August and there was a new picture of him every day with a new set of friends and a ton of guys. Louis didn’t want to be presumptuous, but the masochist part of himself believed that Harry was probably dating again and completely over Louis.

Just like that.

All those _I love you’s_ and _forevers_ forgotten.

Louis liked to pretend to be hard and cold hearted about all of that now. He brushed it off like it didn’t matter to him anymore, but that wasn’t true, and Zayn was probably the only one who knew. A few beers deep and Louis cried about missing Harry almost every day and how he still loved him. Zayn would coddle him then, hushing him to sleep, and the next morning they didn’t talk about it.

It was a steady routine, but one Louis had been working on stopping because it was getting pathetic now. Harry probably didn’t even remember his name anymore and Louis was holding onto every little thing they shared on a loose thread. He stalked Harry’s Facebook daily and asked his mom from time to time when they talked if she’d seen Harry come by. Usually it was a no, but Louis wasn’t sure if his mom was sparing him the details or if Harry genuinely stopped going back to Northridge.

“So, what do ya say, boys?” Niall asked. “You in or not? And remember -- no is not an option.”

Zayn laughed good naturedly, because he loved Niall and laughed at everything that boy said. “Alright, we’ll be there.”

While Niall started pattering on to Zayn about bus routes and expenses, Louis got tunnel vision thinking of the last time he’d seen and spoken to Harry, and wondered what was going to end up happening this week.

**★**

Liam and Niall’s smiling faces greeted Louis and Zayn when they got off the bus after a nineteen hour ride that, thankfully, was mostly spent sleeping. Louis had knocked out as soon as they got on the bus and didn’t wake up until the last few hours. He’d brought his own pillow and blanket, using Zayn’s lap as his leg rest. It was comfortable and Louis now felt energized, ready to take on anything this week threw at him.

“My boys,” Niall grinned, walking over and hugging them tightly while Liam grabbed their bags. “So good to see you.”

“Good to see you, too,” Louis beamed, pressing a kiss to the side of Niall’s head. He turned to Liam. “You alright, Li?”

“Alright,” Liam grinned. “Had a beer with every meal today.”

“Sound disgusting,” Zayn commented, pulling Liam into a hug.

“It was great,” Niall claimed. “How was the trip?”

“Very relaxing,” Louis responded.

“He slept the entire way,” Zayn told them, amused.

“Good that you did that,” Niall said. “You won’t be sleeping much here. It’s a constant party.”

“He says with great experience,” Liam laughed, leading the group of them towards the parking lot where NIall’s car was. “He’s been here every year.”

“Still love it,” Niall grinned.

Zayn chuckled, helping Liam put all their bags in the car. “And where’s Harry? Has he come yet?”

“Yeah,” Liam responded. “He got here yesterday, but we couldn’t find him this morning, so we figured he was somewhere drunk off his ass.”

The other three laughed, shaking their heads in an amused fashion, while Louis wondered if that was the real reason Harry didn’t show, or if this was a tactic to avoid him. Louis had assumed Harry wasn’t going to be all that willing to hang out with him considering they hadn’t spoken so much as a word since they broke up, but he didn’t realize Harry was going to start ignoring him right off the bat. Was he going to do this the whole week? That would suck, but it was a possibility. It dawned on Louis then that Harry could easily spend his entire time there without any of them. He could even get his own room, but Louis hoped he wouldn’t.

He really wanted to see Harry and he was hoping they could talk. A wild spring break party in Panama City Beach wasn’t exactly ideal, but it was all Louis had at this point. He’d even rehearsed in his head what he would want to say -- thought about it while packing and the last few hours on the bus. While he didn’t really know where he’d begin, he wanted to just ask how Harry had been. Was California everything he’d dreamed it would be? Was he happy? Did he miss Louis? Obviously, there was a lot more that they needed to talk about, but those were the main things swimming through Louis’ mind for all these years. It was almost jarring to him that he may finally be getting his answers, but Harry not being there to greet them made Louis feel a little dejected.

The first thing they did when they got to the hotel was head to their rooms. Everywhere Louis looked, there were college students wearing beach clothes and dancing with their drinks in hand. It was exactly what he’d expected, but sadly, he wasn’t as jazzed to be there like everyone else seemed to be. After attending college for nearly four years, Louis realized that while he would have been excited to be here two or so years ago,  the novelty of this _scene_ had just worn off now. Maybe Louis was getting too old to get shit faced at a massive party. Either that or it was the bundle of nerves in his stomach in anticipation of seeing Harry. Maybe some of both.

Their rooms were on the sixth floor with a door connecting them. Each room had two beds and it was expected that two of them would have to share unless they got laid, as Niall explained. If someone was getting laid, the rest of them had to go make do in the other room to offer privacy. If two of them were getting laid then they were on their own. Louis rolled his eyes at Niall’s rules, and set his things down before lying down on one of them, wondering if it would be overkill if he took another nap.

“What the _fuck_ do you think you’re doing?” NIall asked once he saw Louis.

“Relaxing?” Louis replied.

“No,” Niall shook his head, walking over and pulling Louis up. “You’re getting into your swim trunks and coming downstairs with us. There’s a fucking party outside, Lou. Don’t be _that guy_.”

“But I’m tired,” Louis whined, getting up as Niall shoved him towards the bathroom with a pair of red swim trunks in hand.

“I don’t give a fuck. It’s _spraaang break, bitches._ ”

“You really need to stop saying it like that.”

**★**

Despite Niall’s best attempts, by the time they actually got to the beach, it was pretty late. But that was only because after they changed, Louis and Zayn announced they were hungry, and Niall and Liam figured they might as well have dinner. They called Harry to join them, but he never answered. Once again, Louis wondered how intentional that was, but he pushed his worries away and tried to enjoy the time with his friends who were present.

When they finally arrived, the party was still going in full swing, but Niall assured them that was how it always was and they probably didn’t miss anything crucial. As they made their way through the crowds of people dancing along to the music, the three of them grabbed a cup full of beer that was being handed out from a truck for a buck each. Louis grinned as he took a sip. Nothing tasted better than cheap, cold beer -- especially because it was cheap.

They continued to make their way around and Louis could see that the other three boys were already looking for cute girls to hook up with. He wondered if he would find someone as well. Or maybe a few someones. He hadn’t been with anyone, casually or long term, since he and Harry ended -- just had no interest in doing so. It wasn’t easy getting over Harry and he didn’t want to rush himself into anything he wasn’t ready for.

But it had been _so long_ since everything and maybe it was time. Louis wasn’t sure if Harry was on the same boat as him, but that shouldn’t matter anymore. Harry didn’t even want to talk to Louis, and if Louis wanted to be with someone, either in a  serious relationship or just something casual, he had every right to do so. So he kept a lookout as they walked around the crowded beach, the sun setting softly against the water. His eyes scanned the throngs of people, looking for someone who was more or less his type.

Most guys that Louis could see were really built. They were muscled and already tan from the Florida sun. Louis prefered a good balance, to be honest, but mostly someone who wouldn’t intimidate him with their size. His eyes eventually landed on a guy who had his back to Louis. He was wearing a black snap back, his hair brown and long, and he had on these familiar pair of yellow shorts that complimented his long, long legs. He was dancing with a couple of guys and before Louis could place where he’d seen the shorts, the guy turned around to place his back against one of his dancing partners.  

Louis froze when he realized it was Harry because _of fucking course_ it was him that was wearing the smallest, most bright shorts on this entire beach. As if that wasn’t enough, his chest and arm was littered with tattoos. Louis’ mouth went slack and his eyes widened slightly as he took in the scene in front of him.

Harry was drunk, first off. His eyes were distant and glassy, a wide grin on his face, while he gyrated on a guy taller than him. And if that wasn’t enough, another guy joined the pair, and placed himself in front of Harry, turning it into a grind train. It made Louis let out a soft, disbelieving scoff, still unable to look away, though he knew he should. Maybe he felt secondhand embarrassment because the last time Louis saw grind trains were during eighth grade dances when the teacher would keep coming back to break it up. It was stupid and lame, and if it were anyone else he’d laugh. But maybe that was why he couldn’t look away with a laugh, because it wasn’t just anyone else, it was Harry.

It was Harry -- the boy Louis grew up and fell in love with. Watching him dance with not one but two guys hanging off him made Louis want to run over and wrench them apart. It made him feel nauseous and so upset. Louis had never gotten _seriously_ jealous before, but he knew if he kept looking at the scene in front of him, it would only continue to make him feel worse. So he pulled his eyes away, searching for somewhere he could get away to.

The other boys seemed oblivious to all this, laughing about something, and they only looked over when they noticed Louis walking away. They followed him quickly, probably thinking he was trying to explore a bit more. Little did they know that he just wanted to get back on a bus home and as far away from Harry as possible.

**★**

A part of Harry was regretting the fact that he didn't take Niall up on his offer to do spring break at Panama City Beach his first year, because it was off the fucking hook. He was glad he came this year, though, and he planned on coming the next two, even if Niall and the other two boys might not make it. Niall probably would still come despite graduating, but Harry had little hope for Liam and Zayn because this wasn’t really their scene.

Liam was a football player. He hung out at Penn State mostly and then went home to his family during breaks. He had serious relationships, was a big man on campus, got straight A’s, and was basically star pupil in every way, shape, and form. Zayn was an art kid. His scene was more broody corners and dim bars in Brooklyn with a cigarette dangling between his lips while a few of his friends chilled out. Niall, on the other hand, could get down to party, but Harry may be surpassing him this year.

College changed Harry and he wasn’t going to deny it. His first few months were difficult and rocky. He isolated himself, which sucked because he was already pretty lonely in a new state. But then he met a TA named Nick Grimshaw, but everyone called him Grimmy, and he showed Harry a whole new side to college.

Grimmy knew almost everyone on campus, but he was close to those that really mattered to him -- a group who were slightly older than Harry and always down for a good time. They frequented clubs and bars, carrying themselves with a certain level of class that not even money could buy. The group took Harry under their wing, and Harry discovered he enjoyed their lifestyle just as much as he dreamed in Northridge, making plans to leave his quiet hometown for the excitement of Los Angeles in high school. Harry finally got tattoos like he always wanted with Grimmy’s crew there, much to his mom’s dismay. Gemma teased and said Harry turned into a pretentious hipster ever since he started hanging out with them. Harry just told her to shove it.

So while Panama City Beach wasn’t completely Harry’s scene, he still loved a good party. He loved the twenty four seven rager where everyone and anyone was inebriated enough to not give a fuck about anything. And he sort of liked how there were no rules. Harry saw some people fucking in the pool, and even though it was disgusting, no one cared.

Currently, he was downing jagerbomb shots with a couple of people he met earlier. They were in some random hotel room and it was packed because they’d left the door open, allowing everyone to continue the party in there. Harry had a guy lying on his back on top of a counter in front of him, ready for Harry to take a body shot. Harry gave him a quick smirk before slowly spilling his shot down the guy’s toned, bare stomach.

However, just as Harry bent his head down to lick a stripe up his stomach, he noticed his friends walk through the door. He had no idea where they had fucked off to earlier, but he hadn’t bothered to check up on them. He’d figured they’d find him eventually. Along with Niall and Liam, Harry saw Zayn trail in, but it wasn’t until they all filed in that he saw Louis, slowly following behind.  

Harry felt his stomach immediately drop and his heart clench up in his chest.

No one had told him that Louis was coming. He didn’t even _think_ to ask. But as he watched his ex-boyfriend, someone he once considered the love of his life, walk in, he realized it should have been obvious that he was coming. He was, after all, a part of their group, but Harry had made it his mission to detach himself from them a long time ago.

It was nothing personal, really. They’d just all gone their separate ways since college started. Harry was the only one left behind while they each went off to different states for their new adventure and life. The distance waned their friendship, and it was hard to keep in touch. The only time Harry really got to see or catch up with any of them was whenever they were back home for break. The only one who had bothered to keep up with him was Louis, and when they broke up, that had stopped, too. Harry realized he had to find his own way when he moved away as well. He cherished and loved their friendship because it was there with him since he was a kid, but their relationships changed over time and they had long stopped hanging out as a five piece unit. For the most part, it was fine because Harry had grown into his own and found a different group he belonged to.

So to see Louis walk in, Harry realized that this was a reunion of sorts for the five of them, He felt blindsided and completely out of his element. So much so that he didn’t even bother taking the shot off the guy in front of, letting it dry onto his skin, sticky and bitter. He waved his hand in Harry’s face, trying to get his attention, but Harry couldn’t look away.

It was unfair, he thought, as he took in just how good Louis still looked. Finally seeing the other boy face to face, knowing Harry once had him and couldn’t anymore, made him want to scream. Louis had no right to just waltz back in like this after all these years looking as good as he did. It was _so fucking_ unfair. He didn’t even have a shirt on -- just a pair of red trunks. His stomach was slightly toned meaning he had been working out, but the little pudge on his lower belly was still there, and Harry just wanted to kiss it. He wanted to kiss Louis all over and have him again. But he couldn’t. Not after everything that had happened.

Their break-up _ruined_ Harry. He was messed up about it for months, and it took him so long to just get to the point of being okay. And it wasn’t just about breaking up as a couple -- he’d lost his lifetime best friend out of it, too -- and that tore him apart. He’d done his best to forget it, but it was still in the forefront of his mind most days. He played back every moment they shared, thinking about all the promises and plans Louis made, wondering if breaking Harry’s heart was something he’d planned to do at some point, too.

Harry tried shaking himself out of it, looking away from Louis, deciding he didn’t want to deal with this. He wanted to get away from there and as far away from Louis as possible. If he stood there any longer then what he worked for all these years would go to waste, and he’d fall into the same depressed cycle all over again. What was infuriating was that none of the other guys, despite knowing Harry and Louis’ history, warned him about this. They’d tried to deal with the break-up as neutrally as possible. In other words, they just acted like nothing was wrong and everyone was fine. But in reality Harry and Louis hadn’t spoken with each other since they broke up about two years ago.

Harry knew that no matter how much he tried to avoid Northridge, he would have to see Louis again at some point in his life. He just didn’t realize it would be in Panama City Beach during spring break of all times.

“There you are, Harry,” Liam called out, walking over to him. “We haven’t seen you since you got here, you dick ass.”

“What is a dick ass?” Zayn asked, his words slurred, indicating he had had a bit to drink.

“Fuck if I know,” Liam grumbled before rambling on to Harry about how his disappearing act was completely uncalled for since they came here altogether to spend time with each other. Harry completely tuned him out, though, his eyes still trained on Louis.

This time Louis was looking back, apprehensive and wary, as he walked over with the rest of the boys with fidgety hands and a nervous demeanor. Harry started to feel himself panic, not knowing what he was going to say if Louis tried to talk to him. He was drunk, unprepared, and _fucking_ heartbroken. Harry was not ready to see Louis yet. It was also annoying that their friends were acting like they couldn’t sense the sudden thick tension in the room.

Groaning in frustration, Harry turned away from the boys, wondering what to do, when Louis approached him. He looked ready to say something, but Harry bolted immediately, running out of the room. He could hear someone shouting his name, asking him to stop, however, Harry kept going. He ran through crowds of people in the hallways of the hotel until he saw an exit past a narrow corridor. He pushed the doors open, finding himself in the back corner of the hotel outside, and breathed out, letting what just happened sink in.

Fuck.

He couldn’t believe Louis was here. How could Harry have not seen it coming? Fucking shit. As Harry made a move to find a place to sit and think through his thoughts, the exit door pushed open again, revealing Louis. Unbelievable, Harry thought, scoffing as he turned away.

“What the fuck, Harry?” Louis huffed, out of breath. “I kept asking you to stop. Why’d you run out like that?”

Harry scoffed again in disbelief. “Are you joking?”

Louis sighed this time, running a hand through his hair. “We need to talk.”

“No, we don’t,” Harry shook his head. “We don’t need to do anything, Louis. We broke up!”

“So what?” Louis asked. “Are you planning to just avoid me forever, then? We grew up together -- we’re best friends.”

“We’re not anything!” Harry shouted, backing away from Louis. “You and I -- _we’re over_ , Louis. Isn’t that what you wanted?”

“Oh, shut up,” Louis spit out. “You know I didn’t want that.”

“But you did,” Harry laughed bitterly. “Just fuck off, alright? I have nothing to say to you, so I don’t want to talk. I’ve completely erased you from my life, and I’m finally happy.” His heart did a lurch at the flinch on Louis’ face upon hearing what he said. “We’re done and that’s all there is left to say.”

Without waiting for a response, Harry turned around, leaving Louis behind, alone.

**★**

Their hotel room was dim, all lights off except for the one on the bedside table. Louis opened the curtains all the way so that he could watch as the party raged on into the wee hours of the night. There was a Pitbull remix playing and he could see a huge group of people playing chicken in the water. It seemed fun, but Louis was five beers deep, and moping.

He’d been moping ever since his conversation with Harry. After Harry walked away from him, Louis went straight back to their hotel room with a case of beer, not bothering to look for his friends. He didn’t want to dampen their moods -- especially not regarding his and Harry’s _relationship issues._ They were here on spring break and they deserved to enjoy, far away from all the drama that was happening behind the scenes. Louis needed to be alone, anyway. His mind couldn’t stop replaying Harry’s words and he was doing his best to just hold it together.

It was jarring having Harry speak to him like that -- like he _genuinely_ despised Louis. The two of them had fights before when they were kids, but it was obviously never like this. They’d make up by apologizing, talking it out, and then finally laughing it off. This time, it felt like they couldn’t do that anymore. Not only was their relationship over forever, but so was their friendship, it seemed. Louis had hoped that even if they never got back together as a couple, they could at least be friends. But maybe there was too much history and too many memories for them to move past it all.

Perhaps it was naive of Louis to think that. It was also naive of him to think Harry wouldn’t ever change, or that the things he was most afraid of were actually happening, and not just exaggerated in his head. But he didn’t expect _this_ much of a difference. Harry seemed like a completely new person. When Louis looked at him, he felt like he barely recognized the boy looking back at him. There were the obvious, physical changes -- growth spurt, long hair, and tattoos. But the coldness in his eyes couldn’t have been due to growing up. Harry’s lovely green eyes used to shine bright, like pretty lights, yet when Louis looked in them tonight it looked like someone had burned that light out.

**★**

Harry always knew he was a stubborn guy. He held grudges without leaving room for any apologies or second chances, and when someone wronged him, he cut them out of his life completely. A clean break was good even if the break-up was anything but. Louis was no exception despite being his best friend for as long as Harry could remember. In fact, what Louis did cut deeper than if it was any other guy. A part of him wondered if he was being too mean, but it wasn’t like Louis was thinking of that when he broke up with Harry over the fucking phone.

After discovering Louis had joined their spring break trip, Harry had a long hard think in a more secluded area of the beach where Louis couldn’t find him. There was practically no one there, except Harry was sure he had heard some people having sex behind some bushes. Other than that, it was him, the water, and the night sky.

It was difficult seeing Louis. He was unprepared and he felt like his heart was being put through a grinder, shredded and processed to pieces. It was unfair of his friends to put him in this position -- it was unfair of Louis to think Harry would speak to him after everything that had happened. Harry just wanted to have a good time. He wanted a week of being anything but sober, and he wanted to forget. Forget all his current worries, like school and the future, as well as everything that happened two years ago. But now with the one thing he wanted to forget the most being _right there_ , Harry wasn’t sure how he was meant to do that.

So in the end, he decided to just act like Louis wasn’t there. He avoided all his friends and slept over in some random guy’s room, waking up in his own sweat from the heat and number of other people sleeping there as well. From there, Harry joined another group and ate a bit of breakfast before throwing himself into the party through the night until he passed out right on the beach. He didn’t see his friends or Louis until the following afternoon, when they found him half asleep on some lawn chair by one of the hot tubs.

“Where the _hell_ have you been?” Niall asked, crossing his arms and standing over Harry, blocking the sun from view. “We have barely seen you, Harry. You don’t even show up to the rooms at night.”

“Stop screaming,” Harry mumbled, squeezing his eyes shut despite wearing a pair of red heart sunnies that he got off of some girl he met the night before. “You’re giving me a headache. Plus, you sound like a mom. I thought you were the cool one.”

Niall continued to glare at him. “I’m sorry. I was under the impression that we were all doing spring break together -- as _a group._ ”

“We are,” Harry retorted. He then noticed that the other boys were behind Niall, but instead of grilling him like Niall was, they were settling down on their own lawn chairs and getting ready to tan. Not that Louis needed one. Even with sunglasses on, Harry could see Louis’ golden, sun kissed skin radiating and making him look ethereal. Harry was never going to get over just how attractive Louis was. It was probably going to haunt him for the rest of his life.

Niall let out a scoff as he planted himself down on the chair beside Harry. “Not really since you’re never around. Like, for all we knew, you coulda been lying dead in a ditch somewhere last night.”

“Jeez Niall!” Harry groaned loudly. “You’re being so dramatic! I can take care of my own damn self. You don’t have to worry about whether or not I’ve died, or whatever you were making up in your head just because I didn’t show up last night to go to bed on time. I was having a good time. I thought that’s what this was.”

The four boys seemed stunned at Harry’s sudden outburst, but Niall had it coming. Harry was hungover, and he was pissed that none of them told him that Louis was coming. They had no room to come at him about anything after that. Now they were all acting like concerned parents, treating Harry like a kid again. They had to be fucking joking. Harry refused to be the baby of the group anymore. He moved out of his parents house, lived all the way in California, and was doing just fine. He didn’t need anyone's concern right now.

“Alright then,” Niall clipped. He turned away from Harry, asking one of the other boys to pass the sunscreen. He was mad, Harry could tell, and the rest of the boys only cast him wary glances.

Great.

Now Harry felt like a dick.

He didn’t want to act snippy with anyone, especially not Niall. He just felt so irritated and his head was killing him. It didn’t help that Louis was right there, not making a move to come over. Their conversation from the other night played on a loop in Harry’s head. He hated it -- hated the way he sounded, hated what he said, and how he behaved with Louis.

But that was done and he couldn’t back down from what he said. He didn’t want to be hurt again. However, that was no excuse to lash out at Niall, who really just wanted a group hang out for the first time in what felt like forever. So Harry sidled over onto Niall’s lawn chair, cuddling with him. Niall eventually gave in while Harry apologized profusely and offered to buy all of Niall’s drinks that night.

They planned on going to a small nightclub not too far from the resort, exchanging their beach wear for actual pants and shirts. Harry wanted to impress, so he pulled on a pair of tight, black, ripped skinny jeans and topped it off with a sheer black blouse he’d gotten from a boutique with Grimmy a few weeks ago. It accentuated his nipples quite a bit, which he liked. When he met the other boys down in the lobby, he didn’t miss the way Louis’ mouth dropped open, eyes widening before quickly looking away and acting busy on his phone.

Harry smirked to himself while Liam asked him why he was showing off his nipples. And then Niall made a comment about how perky they were, which made Zayn laugh for about five minutes. Louis was pretty quiet during the exchange. Harry was still ignoring him, and he assumed Louis was doing it back to him now. Harry almost wanted to laugh. They must be so insufferable to their friends. He wouldn’t be surprised if they planned on having another group trip, but without Louis and Harry this time.

After arriving at the nightclub, they all took a shot to get the night started. Harry scoped the place out, and was happy to see a familiar face. It was a guy he’d met on the beach his first day that had offered to buy him a drink. Harry accepted and was flattered as the guy continued to flirt with him and they even danced a bit. His name was Xander, if Harry wasn’t mistaken.

Harry decided to walk over, ignoring Niall as he called him out, and made his way to Xander. When Xander caught his eye, he grinned and gave Harry a hug, as though they were lifelong friends. “Hey, dude, how’s it going?” Xander asked.

“I’m alright, thanks,” Harry responded. “Just out with some friends.”

“Same here. We wanted to check out the late night scene away from the beach. It’s pretty sick.”

“Agreed. I mean, I only just got here, but it’s lively.” Xander nodded, smiling as he checked Harry out, his eyes trailing all over his body. Harry cocked his head to the side and gave Xander a mischievous smile. “So, you gonna buy me a drink tonight as well?”

Xander laughed, his eyes twinkling. “Only if I get a kiss this time,” he responded.

“I think that could be arranged,” Harry pretended to contemplate. Xander grabbed his hand with a loud laugh, leading him over to the bar. Harry glanced over at his friends on the way since they were sitting right next to the bar and noticed that almost all of them were preoccupied with talking and laughing about something while Louis was watching Harry and Xander, instead.

Harry quickly looked forward, mumbling a random drink order to Xander, and leaning back against the countertop. Now that he knew Louis was watching them, Harry felt like his eyes were burning holes in him. It brought a sick sense of pleasure in his stomach to conjure up this sort of reaction out of the older boy. Harry didn’t want to be presumptuous, but Louis had to be jealous, otherwise why he would he care that Harry was out there flirting with other guys? Harry did this almost all the time, so he didn’t think much of it, but suddenly doing it in front of Louis just felt different. He felt like he was putting on a show, and that he had something to prove.

It was twisted, and Harry felt a wave of guilt wash over him for a moment even though he hadn’t actually done anything yet. However, the anger and hurt that he harbored for Louis was stronger than the guilt. When Xander turned around to present Harry with his drink, he took it with a sickeningly sweet smile.

“Where’s my kiss then?” Xander asked innocently.

Harry peered over to their booth to see Louis still looking, and quickly turned back around to face Xander. “Won’t back down on a promise,” he said before cupping the back of Xander’s neck, and pulling him in for a kiss. It wasn’t too deep, but Harry did feel Xander’s tongue in his mouth, messy and too wet. Harry pulled back a bit, and pressed one last firm kiss on Xander’s lips before detaching himself from the other boy.

That was when he saw Louis scoot out of the booth and walk straight out the exit. Harry stood there stunned for a moment. He knew what he was doing was going to get a reaction, but he didn’t think Louis would just leave. Harry’s head whipped towards his friends, all of whom were looking at him disapprovingly. It was Zayn who stood up first, walking toward Harry.

“That was a real dick move, Harry,” he said to him. “He didn’t fucking deserve that, and you know it.”

With that, Zayn also walked toward the exit, and Niall and Liam quickly followed. Liam only gave Harry a sad expression, but Niall stopped, glaring Harry down. “Is this really a group trip? Because we only just came out, and it only took you five minutes to split everyone up again.” He groaned exasperatedly. “I mean honestly, Harry. What the hell is going on with you?”

He shook his head disapprovingly, and left Harry standing there, alone with his drink. Even Xander was gone, busy chatting up someone else by the bar. Harry put his drink down, and curled into himself, feeling shame and humiliation. He wasn’t upset about being abandoned by his friends. He knew he deserved that. What he was bothered by was the sick, twisted feeling in his gut he had felt earlier and mistook for pleasure. It was stronger now, and he felt like he couldn’t even recognize himself.

Niall was right. What was going on with him?

**★**

If Louis had to hear another LMFAO song, he was probably going to have to murder the DJ in Panama City Beach and become a recluse in some random midwest state. It was ridiculous the amount of times he’d heard “Party Rock Anthem” or “Sexy and I Know It” play out here. He was sick and tired of people shuffling and guys throwing up their obnoxious muscles, shouting, “I work out.” Straight fuckboy central, if you asked him.

But he was trying to be a good sport, or at least for his friends, who were being so nice to him. Zayn woke him up with coffee every morning and a pack of Marlboros, Liam rubbed his shoulders as they walked out to the beach and asked him if he was alright, and Niall bantered with him until Louis forgot that his ex-boyfriend/best friend was here and hated his guts. They were really the best friends he could have asked for. Despite the fact that there was a party happening at all times, they always asked him if he was doing okay or if he wanted to go back to their hotel room and just chill out. While the offer was tempting, Louis would feel way too guilty to do that. They came here to do spring break, and Louis wasn’t going to make them resort to drinking a six pack in their cheap hotel room and watch whatever was on TV. He was way too good of a friend to allow them to throw this opportunity away. Spring break was an experience they all deserved, no matter how gross it was.

So each night Louis put up a show. He acted like he was having a great, old time. He drank a bit and danced with them and made sure the boys knew he was around. Once everyone was too busy (or too drunk) to notice if he was there or not, Louis slipped away and either went back to the hotel or walked along a more secluded part of the beach. It was better this way because the nights passed by quicker, meaning they were closer to leaving, and he was saved from ever having to witness Harry kissing someone else.

It was hard watching that. Mostly because he saw Harry look right at him before he did it, as though he was hoping Louis would see. That moment burned through Louis’ mind way more times than he’d like, causing his chest to twinge. Since then, he’d thought for hours about leaving this place, just getting the fuck away from it all. It wasn’t too late, but he was still there, all for the sake of his friends, who he really didn’t want to abandon.

The song finally changed from “Party Rock Anthem” to “Thrift Shop,” which was also overplayed, but a little more tolerable at this point. Louis could see Liam dancing with Niall while Zayn was talking with some girl in a bright red bikini. Louis’d taken to standing by the bar and appearing busy, like he was ready to get sloshed in the best way possible, but really he’d been sipping some orange juice in his red solo cup because he wasn’t in the mood. Over on the side, he spotted Harry smoking a joint with a couple of other guys, all of whom looked rather cozy together. Louis didn’t even want to let his mind wander about whether or not something was going to transpire between them all.

Louis slowly made his way past the crowd, and toward the back of the hotel. The air was so much fresher on the other side, and Louis couldn’t help but let out a deep sigh. He was tired, and he ached to go home and be in the comfort of his bed and familiar city. He should have never come here -- not without knowing where he and Harry stood. Things were awkward between all of them, and no matter how much the other three tried, it wasn’t going to go away.

Louis walked along the beach quietly for a few moments, trying to clear his head, until he heard a soft scuffle behind him. Turning around, he was surprised to see Harry standing there, looking ridiculously pretty with his too short shorts and tank top. How long had he been there? Did he follow Louis all this way? It should be creepy, but Louis was too shook to think.

“I saw you leave,” Harry said, his voice quiet against the waves.

“Oh,” Louis responded. He searched his brain to say something more. Harry had _talked_ to him, which was good, and now he just needed to say the right thing so that this could go well and keep going. He wasn’t sure if Harry was drunk or if he was going to regret this later, but Louis had to try. Sure, he’d been thinking about completely giving up these past couple of days, but there was still a big part of him that would always want Harry -- that would always still love him. His feelings weren’t going to just disappear, he’d realized, and he’d long accepted that. But Harry following him out of the party had to mean something. “Do you want to sit?”

Louis gestured down at the sand, and Harry contemplated for a moment before nodding. They gingerly sat down, facing the water, side by side and quiet. It was calming, yet Louis felt a restless energy within him. _What_ was Harry doing here? He curiously peered over at the other boy, and saw him drawing lines on the sand, looking like he was deep in thought. The bags under his eyes were purple and pink, which was expected since Louis never saw him actually sleep. He hardly came by their room when Louis was there, and constant partying took a toll on people.

Harry looked up at Louis then. “I’m tired,” he whispered softly.

Louis nodded a few times, making sure Harry knew he understood. “Do you need anything?” The protective part of him was showing through -- the one that always took care of Harry, making sure he was okay. It was like instinct even after all this time, and Louis felt a blush creep through on his cheeks. He hoped Harry didn’t notice.

“Just need you to tell me what changed,” Harry replied, his voice breaking at the end.

Louis’ heart shattered at Harry’s simple request. It hurt that Harry thought that anything had changed because Louis was still in love with him -- so had anything _really_ changed? But maybe this was his chance to finally come clean and explain what he had gone through during that time. Maybe this would help Harry see that what had happened between them wasn’t right and blown out of proportion, a misunderstanding that was a side effect of having long distance relationships and falling prey to the pressure.

“I can tell you my side of the story, but I just need you to know that nothing changed,” Louis said. “I didn’t suddenly fall out of love with you. I just -- I had _so_ much going on at the time. And I think I just needed you to be my friend more than anything. There was shit with school, my grades, and money. I felt homesick, not just for Northridge, but for you, too. I missed you, and I couldn’t be with you. I felt that all you had of _me_ were stupid Facetime calls. I promised I’d be home for the summer and I couldn’t even do that, so I just broke down that day.”

He took a breath, glancing at Harry to gauge his reaction, but Harry stared wordlessly at the ocean, listening.

“When I asked you if we could have some space and a bit of a break, I didn’t mean long term. I just meant for a while, maybe just the summer, because our timing wasn’t working out either. We both always seemed busy at different times. It was hard, you know? So I thought we could take a break and I could get my head on straight, finish my finals, get a job, and just -- get my shit together, and then we could talk about us again. I didn’t want to break off contact altogether, either. I felt like I couldn’t be the boyfriend you deserved but I still needed you as a friend, is all.”

Louis felt his eyes welling up. He wasn’t much of a crier, especially not in public, but talking about all this was getting him worked up. “And it just -- it was so hard hearing you upset on the phone,” he said, his voice shaking. “You didn’t really give me a chance to explain what was going on, but I didn’t know what else to do. I called you a few times afterwards, and when you stopped calling back, I thought I’d give you a chance to have some space as well. I thought that you’d reach out when you were ready and you never did.”

His tears dripped down his cheeks, making his face hot. He didn’t dare look over at Harry, because who knew how he was taking all this. He could very well be thinking this was all bullshit and walk away.

“I missed you, though,” Louis admitted, his voice shaky. “Missed you all the time. It took me a year to stop grabbing my phone to call or text you anytime I saw something funny, or interesting, or that I knew you’d like. I’d remember what happened and it would hurt so much to know that the one person I wanted to talk to all the time, I couldn’t anymore. People would say, ‘Get over him. He wasn’t worth it. You have to move on.’ And I tried. I tried to move on and stop thinking about you, yet you’re always in my heart, Harry. Still, to this day. I may have been with other people before you, but I  consider you my first in terms of things that actually matter, like my first love. There are parts of me that will always be yours -- even if we never get back together.”

Silence stretched between them, and Louis stopped sniffling, his tears drying. He felt lighter after having said all that. It took a lot emotionally, but he was glad Harry finally gave him a chance to explain. He never wanted Harry to continue to see him as someone who gave up on them. Harry’d always had the kind of mentality where the minute someone wronged him -- or he thought they had -- he shut down, and he could hold a grudge for a long time. Louis understood him well enough to know that, and he wasn’t expecting anything back from Harry.

But then when Louis placed his palm in between them on the sand, Harry covered it with his own, a simple gesture that spoke a thousand words.

**★**

They sat there for hours, watching the waves go back and forth against one another. As time went on, Harry felt braver and more sober, and soon they were holding hands, fingers entwined and grips tight. The moment felt intimate; it was a gesture that showed Harry was there -- he was there for Louis and he’d heard what he needed to say.

Since the incident at the club, Harry had been feeling awful. The more he thought about it, the more he realized how shit he was being. Louis was asking to explain, something he’d been wanting to do ever since that summer, but Harry never gave him an opportunity. And the fact that he’d been carrying this grudge and this hurt with him for years was weighing him down more than ever. He was able to gloss it over and write it off in California when he had shiny new friends to turn to, but now that he was faced with the what he was running from, he wanted to stop. He wanted to finally be rid of this weight.

He’d been watching Louis, waiting for the right opportunity to talk to him, but every night when he saw Louis walk out of the parties looking dejected and bored, Harry chickened out. Until tonight. He followed Louis and finally heard what Louis had been wanting say since they broke up. It made sense, Louis’ explanation, and opened Harry’s eyes to a side that he hadn’t known. A side that he’d wondered about for ages, but never gotten to understand. It was clear that they both still needed to talk a lot of things over, but for now, it seemed like enough.

Harry was content to just sit there and be with Louis. It was better than any moment he’d had since coming here. The weight that he’d been carrying on his shoulders all this time felt like it was slowly dispersing, and when he felt like he could barely keep his eyes open, he rested his head softly on Louis’ shoulder.

Louis didn’t tense up or shift away. He seemed perfectly at ease as though he was still accustomed to Harry cuddling up to him whenever he pleased, and the thought made Harry’s heart ache. Louis rubbed his thumb over Harry’s hand. “You should sleep, Harry,” he said. “The party will still be here when you wake up.”

“Yeah,” Harry nodded without thinking twice. “Okay.”

His limbs were giving way, and he genuinely felt like he was going to crash. All this time, Harry had been running -- running from his past, his feelings, from Louis himself. Now he was done and tired of it, his whole body felt like it was going to collapse from exhaustion. Louis stood up, helping Harry as well, and they walked back toward the hotel. Harry didn’t let go of Louis’ hand once, not even when they walked through the lobby, took the elevator up to the sixth floor, or when they were in the room. Louis felt like Harry’s anchor, holding him steady and safe.

He looked at Harry, his gaze questioning and trepid, as they stood in the middle of the room with their hands conjoined. Gulping, Harry said, “Come to bed with me. Please.”

Something flashed through Louis’ eyes. Confusion, surprise, happiness? Harry wasn’t sure. But he nodded, nonetheless, and followed Harry toward one of the beds and they both got under the covers. It was stilted at first because Louis lay on one side while Harry situated himself on the other. Harry turned off the bedside lamp, and then looked at Louis for a long moment before scooting closer and hugging Louis from the side. He felt warm and familiar. Harry curled into him, breathing heavily and feeling like he’d come home after so long.

**★**

Spring break somehow got better after that.

Louis woke up the morning after their talk with Harry in his arms, and the smile that filled his face hadn’t left since. It wasn’t that everything was suddenly okay again because they still needed to talk some things out, but it was better than whatever they were doing before. Harry woke up not too long after that, and snuggled him for a bit longer before stepping out of bed to go to pee. Louis rolled over to find Niall passed out on the other bed with Liam cuddled up with him, which meant Zayn had probably gotten with someone in the other room.

Harry padded over from the bathroom and got back into bed, smiling softly at Louis before getting under the covers again. “Going back to sleep?” Louis asked.

“Yeah,” Harry yawned with a nod, a few strands of his hair falling over his face. “Feel like I haven’t slept in days...could use some more.” Louis’ hands hesitated, but in the end, he bit the bullet and stroked the hair away from Harry’s face. When Harry hummed in contentment, Louis continued, feeling Harry’s hands snake around his waist again.

They all woke up a few hours later when Zayn walked into the room, eyes widening in surprise upon seeing Louis and Harry in the same bed. Louis only smiled in response, and they all got ready to head down for the breakfast buffet. Following breakfast, they went to the outdoor pool. This time, instead of pretending, Louis was actually laughing along and having a good time.

His talk with Harry went better than he could have expected given how tense things were in the beginning. However, he wasn’t sure where that put them. Right now, the two were being friendly, and Harry seemed to be extra attentive. He was standing beside Louis and asking him things about school and some of the friends Louis had told him about before. He didn’t think Harry would remember, but he did, and Louis couldn’t help but ask Harry about his life in California as well. He was eager to know more about how everything had turned out for Harry.

“It’s great,” Harry replied earnestly. “It’s honestly, like, everything I imagined it to be. I’ve got these friends who’ve really done the most and shown me around LA and even San Francisco.”

“So you get to go around and explore?”

Harry nodded. “Weekends, mostly, since school takes up so much of my time. I’m doing sociology, which wasn’t really something I planned, but it worked out.”

“Right, you wanted to study law.”

“Yeah, but then I realized it would be a couple of extra years in school, which I didn’t want to do.”

“That’s understandable.”

“What about you?” Harry asked, leaning his whole body toward Louis. “What’ve you been up to? You’re going to graduate so soon.”

Louis chuckled softly. “Try two months.”

“That’s _so_ soon.”

“It is, and I feel _so_ old,” Louis admitted. “I’ve done no partying this entire week, and I’ve gone to bed before twelve every night.” He sighed to himself before patting Harry on the back. “Enjoy your time while you can, Harry. It all goes downhill from here.”

Harry laughed, his head thrown back like a little kid, and eyes lit up. “Shut up. You’re talking like you’ve hit sixty, or something. You’ve still got it, Lou.” Louis watched as Harry gulped, eyes trailing down Louis’ bare torso and red swim trunks. It made Louis feel hot all over, and he was sure his face was turning red as he met Harry’s intent gaze. It was a lot, and he had to cough a few times, smiling at the other boys, who were already drunk, so happy that the two of them were talking again. Harry sipped his own drink, shifting closer to Louis so that their shoulders touched. He put down his empty cup, and addressed everyone. “I’ll get the next round.”

“Is this you making up for being a dick all week?” Zayn asked, cocking his head to the side. His tone was light, but there was obviously a lot behind his question. Zayn was still upset with Harry after what he pulled at the club.

Harry, for the most part, took the dig in stride. “It is,” he nodded. “So, what’re we having?”

After getting everyone’s orders, Harry walked toward the bar. Louis’ eyes couldn’t help but follow Harry and admire his retreating form. His back seemed so much broader, waist thin, and Louis could feel a little bit of drool coming down his mouth. When he shook himself out of his trance, he turned back to find all three of his friends giving him a concerned look.

“What the hell is happening?” Niall asked. “You two are chummy _as fuck_.”

“And you’re drooling,” Zayn noted.

Louis quickly wiped at the wet patch on the side of his mouth and leveled the boys with a look. “Nothing is really going on. Harry and I’ve just made up, I guess. We talked things out last night.”

Liam smiled brightly. “So you two are good then? Does that mean you’re getting back together?”

“I don’t know about that,” Louis replied with a nervous chuckle. Even if they had made up, Harry and him getting back together seemed too much of a stretch. Just because they were on okay terms again didn’t mean they would jump back into each other's arms and ride off into the sunset. They still lived across the country from one another, and that had  been an issue from the start. It was also too soon to talk about this stuff, especially since Louis wasn’t sure if Harry still had feelings for him or not.

Zayn seemed to understand Louis’ hesitation and reached over, rubbing his shoulder in a comforting way. “One day at a time,” he said.

Louis nodded to him, smiling. This was more than Louis could have hoped for having come to spring break. From here on, he would really just want to focus on his friendship with Harry and rebuilding that. They had so much to catch up on. Louis barely knew anything about Harry’s new life, his friends, and who he’d grown to be. He didn’t even know about his tattoos. It was driving Louis a little crazy; he’d always known the other boy like the back of his hand. He felt like he had to catch up with two years of Harry before he thought of anything more.

When Harry returned with their drinks, he passed them around to everyone, saving Louis for last. Louis smiled when he saw the pink umbrella next to his straw. “You remembered my umbrella,” Louis said.

“Of course I did, Lou,” Harry responded, smiling as he settled down beside Louis again.

Harry didn’t leave Louis’ side for the rest of the day. After another two rounds of drinks, the group moved to the beach because the DJ they all liked had just started his set. While Louis wasn’t looking forward to hearing anymore LMFAO songs, Harry’s laugh was contagious and he wouldn’t stop looking at Louis. Harry had always used to look at him with this sort of wonder, and it was addicting being looked at like that. As if Louis told Harry to swim to the ends of the earth with him, then he would, no questions asked. He was looking at him like that again and Louis didn’t want to let go.

They all danced, stupid and drunk, not caring about a single damned thing. And when the sky darkened, Louis felt Harry tug his arm closer to him, leading him away from the crowds of people who continued to go at it like they had all the energy in the world. Louis followed, of course, until they were under a secluded palm tree a few feet away from the party.

Louis looked up at Harry, because that was something he had to do now that Harry had grown about five inches taller than him. “You’re so fucking tall,” Louis said, words slurring. “When the fuck did you get this tall? I hate it.” He paused, giggling to himself. “Love it, too.”

“I just grew, Lou,” Harry giggled as well, probably because he rhymed. “It just happened.”

“Well make it stop happening. I want you to be my height again. Maybe even shorter. This is hurting my ego.” He was joking, really, and Harry just smiled, bending his head down until they were face to face.

“Is this better?” he asked.

Louis blinked slowly, itching to trace his fingers over Harry’s pretty features, but he curled his fists and nodded. Harry seemed to be faring the same, his eyes glassy, and he had the look in his eyes that he always did before he kissed Louis. It was the only warning Louis had before Harry’s lips were on his, as though Harry couldn’t fight the urge -- he had to kiss Louis. Louis let out a muffled and surprised moan, hands coming up to frame Harry’s face while Harry’s hands roped around Louis’ waist.

Given the number of years they’d been separated, one would expect the kiss to be dirty and enthusiastic and wet, but it was slow and sweet. Harry sucked Louis’ lower lip between his and pulled him closer, as if that was possible. Louis’ mind went blank, completely static as he kissed Harry back with a hint of tongue. He tasted exactly how Louis remembered, and Louis swore his heart felt like it was going to jump out of his chest with how hard it was beating. Kissing Harry was a reminder of how much Louis was still in love with him -- how he was going to probably love him for the rest of his life.

**★**

It was the last night of spring break and Harry was actually sober.

He’d made an executive decision to lay off the alcohol tonight after relentless nights of drinking himself into a stupor. His liver was going to thank him, and so was his dignity, which was still recovering from throwing up on Louis’ leg immediately after kissing him. It was not one of Harry’s finer moments, but Louis shrugged it off and was more concerned with Harry’s health rather than the fact that he had Harry’s throw up dripping down his leg. Louis also chose to spend his last night of spring break helping Harry pack rather than go out to party with the rest of the boys.

“You really don’t have to stay,” Harry told him for what felt like the tenth time. “I’m just going to pack this up and head down for a bite before joining you boys.”

“But I want to stay,” Louis insisted. “If you haven’t noticed, Harry, spring break hasn’t really my thing. I’ve only been drunk one night out of the last seven and I have no regrets.”

“I _have_ noticed,” Harry chuckled as he folded a t-shirt and put it in his duffel bag. He didn’t have much with him, but he wanted to make sure this was done so that the following day he wouldn’t have to worry about forgetting anything. He was mostly finished, but he still hadn’t seen one of his things, which was starting to worry him.

When Louis saw him looking around, he asked, “What is it?”

“I can’t find my black jeans,” Harry said. “The one I wore to the club.”

“I think I saw them in there,” Louis said, motioning toward the open door that led to the other hotel room.

Harry stood up, walking into the room and spotting his jeans lying over a chair by the window. He picked it up only to discover some weird yellow stain. “There’s a stain!” he cried dramatically, running back into the room where Louis was. It was his only good pair with the ripped knees just right. Harry would hate it if he couldn’t wear it anymore. He looked _really_ good in them.

“Shit,” Louis mumbled, watching Harry.

“I’m going to see if I can wipe it off,” Harry told him, walking into the bathroom.

The stain slowly started to come off with some soap and a hot, wet towel, and Harry sighed in relief. Reaching into the pocket of the jeans, he searched for that familiar, worn photograph, but he couldn’t find it. Harry’s eyes widened and he rummaged through the other pockets but it wasn’t in those either. Maybe it was still in the room. He had it when he left the club, so it couldn’t have fell somewhere outside. Dropping the jeans on the counter, he walked back into the room only to find Louis standing there, holding it.

It was a small picture -- one of him and Louis taken the night of the party at Mary Hart’s. It was the last summer that everyone hung out and it was also the night Louis and Harry had first kissed, soft drunken touches under the lamp post and awning where Louis smoked and Harry watched, eyes darkening by the second. The picture was taken before that, when they had just arrived at the party. Harry was wrapped up in Louis’ arms, a pink tint on his cheeks, while Louis smiled down at him fondly. Liam had taken it and sent it to Harry during his mopey phase when Louis had left for college. Harry printed it a few days later and kept it tucked in his jeans pocket all the time.

But that had been when they were still together. When Harry used to miss Louis so much that he needed a piece of him to always carry around. The picture was fading and ripping at the edges from the amount of times Harry took it out just to look at it. The even after the breakup, he still couldn’t let it go.

“I remember this night,” Louis said, a soft, nervous laugh escaping his lips as he looked up from the photograph. “Really well.”

“Me, too,” Harry admitted.

He really had no idea what was going through Louis’ head. Harry’d had liquid courage the night before when he’d kissed Louis, unable to help himself, having fought the urge all week. And while Louis, surprisingly, actually kissed back, he’d been drunk as well.

Louis finding this picture, now, at this early stage of becoming friends again, made Harry feel like he was trapped in a corner. He had no excuse for why he was still hanging onto something that had ended years ago, there was nothing he could really say to defend the fact that he was still carrying around that picture. Louis could be over it at this point for all he knew. Furthermore, without having a better sense of where he stood with Louis, Harry hadn’t planned on bringing up anything about their relationship yet -- he really wasn’t expecting to get to this point so soon. But he didn’t have a choice now.

What really got to him was Louis’ expression. Looking between the photograph and Harry, Louis seemed sad, like he was struggling to find the right words. It worried Harry, making him nervous, and when Louis did speak, the words seemed to spill out almost desperately, like he’d been holding them close all this time and festering over them.

“I thought you erased me from your life and you were finally happy.”

It stunned Harry that Louis remembered what he’d said that first night. He felt ashamed of himself, not able to meet Louis’ gaze anymore, instead staring resolutely at the ground. The thing was, he really couldn’t even try to hide anything now if he wanted. How he felt about Louis was obvious at this point.

“I lied,” Harry whispered, sniffling and trying to maintain his composure as best as he could. It’d been so long and everything he felt just kept building up the more he ignored it.

And suddenly, he didn’t feel like holding it in or ignoring it anymore. What happened two years ago on the phone with Louis sucked. What followed had sucked even more, but Harry had grown tired of it all. There were so many nights where he wished he’d just get over himself and pick up Louis’ call and tell him he was still so in love with him, but he didn’t. He kept holding himself back because phone calls wouldn’t be able to convey how he really felt, after all. If only Louis was in front of him, he’d think, Harry would tell him.

Yet here Louis was, standing in the flesh right before Harry’s eyes, and all Harry had done these past seven days was push him away. He’d been cold and mean and awful to this person he knew he was still in love with. Tears started to spill past his eyes at the realization that he was the only one to blame for that -- him and his stupid fucking ego and the grudge he’d held against Louis all this time. Louis had been trying to talk to him from the very start, and Harry had wasted those opportunities. He’d wasted the time they had and tomorrow they were going to go back home, but home wasn’t Northridge anymore. At least not right now. Home was across the country from one another, and Harry was such an idiot.

He let out a broken sob, and he could see Louis step closer from the periphery. “I’m sorry,” Harry cried, wiping at his eyes roughly. “I’m sorry for being so mean to you and lying. I was terrible, Louis. I’m so sorry.”

“Hey,” Louis said, his voice soothing and close. His hands were rubbing up and down Harry’s shoulders in a comforting manner, and Harry couldn’t help but let out another loud, ugly sob. “It’s okay, Harry. I understand. You don’t have to apologize.”

“I do,” Harry said to him, his voice thick. “I’m so stupid. I don’t hate you. I never erased you from my life. I’ve missed you so much -- everyday. I thought of you everyday. I kept the picture and I looked at it all the time. I’m so sorry.”

Louis pulled Harry into a hug, running his hand through Harry’s curls, trying to calm him down. His breakdown felt like the icing on the cake. First, he was embarrassingly mean, then he threw up on Louis, now he was ugly crying on him. What a disaster. But Louis didn’t seem put off -- not in the slightest. He continued to whisper encouragements to Harry, saying how they were okay now, and it was going to be alright.

Harry nodded at Louis’ words, trying to settle down, When that failed,he gave in to what he really wanted to do and just kissed Louis again. His face was wet, his lips chapped, but he put everything he had into it. Louis didn’t push him away this time either nor did he try to stop him. He kissed Harry, hungrily, and Harry grappled onto his shirt.

“I love you,” Harry said, kissing Louis before he could say anything back. “I still love you so much.”

Louis pulled Harry toward the bed in response, practically carrying him until he was lying on top of it. Louis crawled over him, making Harry inch back until they were on the middle of the bed, before resuming their kissing. It felt like they were content just doing that, lips memorizing one another again, and hands roaming, exploring familiar skin. When it became hard to breathe, they lingered close, noses nudging and breaths intermingling. Louis pulled back at some point to sit up on Harry’s lap, straddling him, and he was so fucking perfect. Harry suddenly couldn’t get the image of how Louis looked when he came out of his mind, and he let his finger trail the hem of Louis’ shirt and jeans. “D’you wanna take this off?” Harry asked, his voice sweet and almost innocent.

“I love you,” Louis replied, instead. “I still love you, too.”

Harry grabbed the collar of Louis’ shirt and brought him down for another messy kiss, this time the two of them rocking their hips against each other. Harry was hard underneath his jeans, and he could feel Louis’ cock twitching. He suddenly felt hot all over, wanting to rip both their clothes off so that something would just give, but he couldn’t stop kissing Louis long enough to do so. He wanted to memorize his taste, keep it with him for however long they were apart again, although just thinking about it made Harry want to cry again.

“I want you,” Harry whispered urgently, rutting up against Louis. “Please -- want you so bad.”

Louis nodded, breaking their kiss, and quickly sitting up again. He pulled his t-shirt off before scrambling off of Harry and pulling his shirt off as well. They kissed again, quick and filthy, before unbuttoning their jeans. Harry looked at Louis, his hard cock outlined in his briefs, and he couldn’t help but reach over and palm it, kissing down Louis’ neck. They hadn’t ever gone past blow jobs and hand jobs before, but he wouldn’t actually be opposed to going all the way now. He hadn’t ever had sex before, but he’d always saved all his firsts for Louis anyway.

Moans spilled past Louis’ lips as Harry sucked a bruise on the crook of his neck while tugging on his cock. It was driving Harry crazy, hearing Louis like that, and he couldn’t help but groan back, his cock leaking and getting his briefs wet. Harry leaned away, happy with the mark, and kissed Louis again, pulling him back until they were lying down again, rutting against each other once more. This time with less clothes, it felt even better.

“Fuck, Harry,” Louis whimpered, his mouth next to Harry’s ear. His fingers trailed down Harry’s torso, sending chills down his spine, and Harry really needed to come already.

“Have you, um,” Harry mumbled, his voice low and deep. “Do you have stuff?”

Louis looked shook for a moment, his eyes fluttering open. “Since when did your voice get so deep?” Harry burst out laughing at _that_ being Louis’ initial response and he covered his face, embarrassed. Louis seemed intent on getting to the bottom of Harry’s voice change, though, and pulled his hands away. “No, honestly, what the fuck? You’re so fucking hot with your stupid deep voice and your stupid tattoos.” They shared an intense, open mouth kiss before Louis broke away to leave sporadic ones all over Harry’s face. He trailed kisses down his body, each more wet than the one before.

“I think I’m going to go crazy,” Harry said, eyeing Louis from where he was sitting between Harry’s legs.

Louis smiled, biting his bottom lip. “I have stuff,” he said. “Zayn made me pack it in case I got lucky.”

“Oh,” Harry mumbled out. “Were you going to use it?”

“No,” Louis shook his head. “Unless you want to.”

Harry nodded his head quickly. “I want to, yes. Please.”

Louis let out a laugh, bounding off the bed, his dick painfully hard between his legs, and ran to get the stuff out of his bag. He came back with one condom and a packet of lube before settling down between Harry’s legs again.

“Are you comfortable?” Louis asked him. “Do you need anything?”

“Your fingers in my ass, yeah,” Harry replied honestly.

Louis smacked his ass in response. “Dirty,” Louis commented. Harry whined, instead, just as Louis’ fingers tugged his briefs off. His cock curved over his stomach, hard and wet around the tip, and it took a lot to not jerk himself through a quick orgasm. Louis seemed in a daze, studying Harry closely as he opened the packet of lube, spreading it between his fingers. “Is this your first time?” Louis asked.

Harry nodded, gulping, and Louis leaned over, kissing him softly. “I love you,” Harry whispered, for no other reason aside from just wanting Louis to know. It felt good to be able to say it -- to admit it not just to Louis, but to himself, too.

The first finger was weird. Louis went slow, however, until Harry got used to it, and asked him to add another. It wasn’t until Louis was pressing down over his prostate with three fingers that Harry was begging for Louis to get inside him already.

“I need to make sure you’re open enough,” Louis told him with a quiet laugh. He’d been keeping busy and kissing at this one spot on Harry’s hip, licking and biting over it and turning into an angry bruise.

“I feel like I am,” Harry replied, his hands seeking purchase on the sheets as he fisted them. He had sweat beading down his forehead, and his whole body felt flushed and open. Louis only hummed in response, continuing to scissor his fingers inside Harry. His mouth moved over from the spot on Harry’s hips and onto the head of his cock instead, sucking softly. “ _Louis_ ,” Harry moaned, embarrassingly loud.

“Fuck,” Louis mumbled out, lifting his head. “I really like it when you say my name like that.”

“I’m going to come, like, _right fucking now_ if you don’t do something. _Please_ ,” Harry rambled, while still pushing down on Louis’ fingers. He was desperate and horny. Sue him.

Finally, after much teasing, Louis pulled his fingers out, taking his lube slicked fingers and opening up the condom packet, which he dropped about about three times. With difficulty, he finally got the condom on, lubing himself up before settling between Harry’s legs. “It might burn,” he warned Harry. “It’ll go away, though.”

“I don’t even care,” Harry shook his head, blindly feeling for Louis’ hand and pulling him in for a kiss. Louis was on board with that, kissing him thoroughly as he pushed in slowly. It was distraction enough for the slight burn Harry felt, but he was so focused on not coming, that he didn’t mind. When Louis finally bottomed out, they froze, panting against each other until Harry gestured for him to move.

Louis tentatively built up a smooth rhythm, one that was slow enough to drive Harry crazy, but fast enough to make him feel a bit of pain. “I’m so mad at myself,” Harry breathed out.

“Why?” Louis asked him, frowning.

“We could have been doing this all this time,” Harry whined out. “But I was so dumb, and you feel so good.”

“Aw, Harry, baby,” Louis laughed shakily. “You feel good, too.” He rocked in a few times more before pulling out. “Get up on your knees with your back to me.”

Harry did as he was told, rolling over so he was on his stomach, and pushed himself up.. He felt Louis kiss down his spine before thrusting into him once more. The angle this time was different, and Harry couldn’t believe it could get better with every new position they did. Louis had a secure arm around Harry’s waist, holding him steady while Louis slammed into him over and over. His other hand worked Harry’s cock, rubbing over the head until Harry finally let go, coming all over his chest and the sheets below him.

“Holy shit,” Harry mumbled, falling headfirst into the pillows. He turned onto his back again, eyeing Louis with a sated grin, who’d taken his condom off. “You haven’t come yet,” he noted, his eyes falling over Louis’ still hard dick. “C’mere. Want you to come on me.”

Harry pulled Louis closer until he was straddling Harry’s waist. Louis pumped his dick in his hand, kissing Harry at the same time. Harry let his hands roam all over Louis’ bare body, his finger trailing down Louis’ crack and lightly rubbing over his hole. “Want to fuck you next time,” Harry whispered to him. “Want to feel you inside and drag it out so you can feel it for days.”

“ _Fuck_ ,” Louis groaned, coming hard at Harry’s words. His dick spurted out ribbons of white, creaming Harry’s chest. Louis collapsed onto Harry, feeling completely dirty, lying in their commingled come and sweat. Which was probably pretty standard fare for spring break, honestly. He was sure the bed had seen worse.

Harry nudged Louis’ nose with his, kissing him a few times, while rolling him onto his back. “I’m so happy right now,” he said. “You were amazing.”

“Me, too, H,” Louis admitted, tucking Harry’s hair away from his face. “What does this mean for us?”

“I’m not sure,” Harry replied honestly. “But you know I love you. I’ve never stopped, and probably never will.”

“I love you, too. But we have to figure some stuff out.”

“Yeah. We’re also leaving tomorrow.” Harry pouted. He didn’t want to leave. He wanted to stay another seven days and spend them all in this bed with Louis.

“We can talk about it, but we can also take it slow, okay?” Louis suggested. “I think that immediately going back into a relationship without talking it over would be bad.”

“I agree,” Harry replied. He hated to admit it, but he knew it was true.

“Though, I’m not opposed to it.”

“You’re not?”

“No,” Louis shook his head. “I want to be with you, Harry. I’ve wanted to be with you since I was eighteen years old. And I’d really like to work things out.”

Harry smiled shyly, biting his lower lip, and curling into Louis. “I’ve been in love with you my whole life, so I’d like that, too.”

Louis’ face was flushed, his cheeks pink, and he sounded overwhelmed as he spoke. “Okay, so we’ll talk and we’ll make this work. You could come to New York sometime and stay with me. Maybe for my graduation. And I’ll come see you in California.”

“Yeah, Lou, of course,” Harry said, his words slowing. “I’d love to. Will you be home for the summer?”

Louis nodded. “Will _you_? I haven’t seen you there in ages.”

Harry laughed, nodding as well. “I’ll be there.” He glanced toward the window where they could hear another fucking LMFAO song playing. “Are we going to go down? We told the boys we would.”

“We could,” Louis said slowly. “Or we could just stay here. I only really came to spring break hoping to talk to you.”

“ _Lou_ ,” Harry drawled out, a shy smile taking over his face. “We’re too romantic for spring break.”

“Hated it, anyway, so I don’t care,” Louis replied, laughing. “But I think we should shower first, and get rid of these sheets.”

“Agreed.”

The two of them got out of bed, pulling the sheets off with them, and padded over to the bathroom to have a quick shower together. But their shower grew longer than expected after Harry got down on his knees and blew Louis, and Louis, of course, returned the favor. After all, they had three years to make up for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you guys liked it! let me know what you thought :)  
>   
> [tumblr](http://softasurcheek.tumblr.com/)


	4. twenty-two and twenty-four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “So, just marry me, okay?”
> 
> Harry turned around until he was looking up at Louis. “Did you just propose to me?”
> 
> Louis blinked. “I did do that, yeah.”
> 
> “Oh, no, Lou. You’re not getting away with a throwaway proposal. You need to do better than this. I want a whole big thing. Not a question thrown in while we’re watching Nick at Nite.” Harry huffed despite the smile on his face, turning back to the TV. 
> 
> “But Harry,” Louis prodded, grinning as he poked his cheek in a teasing manner. “I love you. Isn’t that enough reason to just accept my proposal?” 
> 
> “No. I want it be a big moment, like a grand romance scene in rom coms. I want a ring and music in the background and I want everyone we know to be there. Thanks in advance.”
> 
> or
> 
> Louis and Harry move back to Northridge and wedding bells chime.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me two years ago: i'm not going to write anything until i've finished this fic  
> me two years later: hi...............
> 
> honestly, i have no excuse. this fic was weirdly hard to finish. but i've done it. part 5 should be out soon (like maybe this weekend or the week after) and it'll be cute just like this one is. i hope you guys like it!
> 
> thanks a and o for betaing!

It had only been a few months since Harry was last in Northridge, but it felt different this time. Perhaps because he’d finally graduated college and was moving back home after four years. Or maybe because everything looked exactly the same, but Harry just felt different.

“What’s got you so moody all of a sudden?” Louis asked from the driver's seat, switching the song for what felt like the millionth time.

Harry made a non-committal noise, staring out the window as Louis drove at 40 mph, passing by all their childhood hang out spots. There was the ice cream shop, Frozen Spoon, that Liam used to work at. Their old primary, middle and high schools. The park where Harry met Louis for the first time. He felt nostalgic and it didn’t help that Louis had some soft acoustic playlist from Spotify playing in the background and adding to the mood.

They’d been on the road for the past two days, which wasn’t all that bad because Harry had always wanted to go on a road trip. It was Louis who suggested it first since the moving cost was practically emptying their pockets. After graduating from college with a teaching degree, Louis moved out of New York and with Harry in California. They found a small one bedroom apartment near Harry’s school that cost a lot due to the in demand  location, but they loved it anyway. While Harry finished his degree, Louis found a job teaching preschool for the time being.

The decision to move out hadn’t really been a surprise. Though Harry had always wanted to go out to California for school, he wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to live there. In fact, he’d always imagined himself moving back to Northridge and getting settled there. It was home -- it was always going to be home. The same went for Louis, who hadn’t really given staying back in New York a thought. The four years he’d been there was enough, according to him. That was why he packed everything up and came to Harry in California after he was done.

“Why didn’t you just go home?” Harry asked the first night Louis was staying with him in the west coast.

“Home wouldn’t be home without you,” Louis replied, pressing a warm kiss against Harry’s cheek.

It was a big sacrifice. Louis had already taken a leap before and started from scratch in New York. He didn’t have to do it again in California, but for Harry, he did it anyways. And so Harry had to take that into consideration as well when he’d asked Louis if he just wanted to go back home. The two of them were in their bedroom, Harry was still in his graduation cap and gown, and his family were already on a flight back home.

“Go back to Northridge?” Louis asked.

“Yeah,” Harry nodded. “I just -- it’s home, you know? I wanna go home.”

“I wanna go home, too, babe,” Louis smiled.

So, they packed up everything they owned in that small, cramped apartment and sent it off with the movers before riding the thirty one hours over to Wisconsin. There were car games, alternating drivers, and even a layover in some random, spooky motel that they’d found on the way in Wyoming. Harry swore he saw a ghost, but Louis wasn’t having it. It made for a funny night, though, with the two of them trying to play ghostbusters.

They were near the end of their trip, about five minutes from their block, and Harry felt a mixture of feelings at returning back to where everything started for him. He was at a point in his life where he’d crossed a really big milestone -- finishing school -- so he wasn’t quite sure what the next step was going to be.

Their other friends were settling in quite nicely themselves. Zayn decided to stay in New York, having found a solid place for himself in the bustling, yet creative city. He was freelancing here and there, not really looking for anything solid to tie him down yet. Liam headed over to Boston from Philly. He’d gotten an internship that they ended up offering full time, and while there, he also met Sophia, someone who he was getting progressively more serious with. Last, but not least, Niall finally left Florida (namely Panama City Beach) and moved back home. He got his own place and was helping out his dad with their family business.

For once in his life, Harry was glad he was the younger one, and his friends had a couple of years over him. Seeing them friends grow up and settle down was a little alarming, to say the least, but that wasn’t to say that he’d shy away from it. Harry just needed to figure out what was next, that was all.

Louis didn’t give any hint of what he would be up to these upcoming months. He’d quit his job over at the preschool in California, so Harry assumed he’d probably try to find something similar here. It would be funny to see Louis teaching in the same halls that he’d run havoc in. He was pretty sure the teachers Louis terrorized were going to have a field day when they heard Louis was teaching himself now.

“We’re here,” Louis said, sighing a breath of relief as he pulled up in front of his house. Harry turned to look at his own, smiling at how it hadn’t changed one bit. It was the same porch, those same rickety stairs, and the same Bluebell flowers out in the front garden. Except for the curtains in the living room. His mom wanted to update those into something more contemporary. But everything else -- everything else was the same.

**★**

With Louis’ new twin brother and sister taking over his room at his mom’s house, he technically didn’t have a room there anymore. When he visited Northridge before, he always crashed at Harry’s because it was convenient seeing as how they had extra rooms ever since Gemma and Harry moved out. It didn’t feel weird that he lived across the street when he visited home, only because Harry’s home had always been his second home anyway. This also gave his mom more of an excuse to come over, as if she didn’t chat with Anne everyday as it was.

“Mom changed the sheets for us,” Harry said, voice muffled by the towel over his face. He’d just washed up in the bathroom, walking back into his bedroom in nothing but a pair of plaid pajama bottoms.

“I saw,” Louis said from his spot on the floor. He couldn’t find any clean pajamas to wear in his carry on bag. Most of their clothes were coming in the moving truck that was due to arrive tomorrow. Louis couldn’t just shrug it off and sleep naked, either. It felt weird since Harry’s parents were down the hall. He eventually settled on one of Harry’s gym shorts from high school and changed into them. He also found a clean white t-shirt and put that on as well, turning to see Harry was still shirtless and sitting on his bed with his phone out. Louis joined him, leaning into Harry for warmth.

Harry turned to smile sweetly at Louis and it made Louis’ breath catch, which wasn’t surprising. Anytime Harry looked at him like that, it made him feel tingles all the way down to his toes, a flush of warmth spreading through him. “Let’s go watch TV,” Harry suggested. “I’m not tired yet.”

“Says the guy who slept practically the whole car ride over.”

“Please, Lou. I don’t want to go down there alone. Mom and Robin are asleep as well so I can’t ask them.”

Louis didn’t bother responding, just got up while Harry grabbed a blanket off his bed and took Louis’ hand, leading him out the door and down to their living room. While Louis settled down on the couch, draping the blanket over himself, Harry found the remote, switching the channels before settling on Nick at Nite. _Full House_ was on and Harry cheered at that before lifting up the blanket off of Louis. He settled against him in a cuddle, arms and legs tangled and then placed the blanket over them.

They watched in silence for a while, chuckling here and there. It was the episode series where Jesse and Rebecca get married. “You know,” Louis said quietly, his fingers running through Harry’s hair. “This episode is giving me some feels.”

Harry giggled, rubbing his cheek against Louis’ thigh. He’d somehow ended up with his head on Louis’ lap so that Louis would play with his hair. “What kind of feels?”

“Marriage feels. Because let’s face it, H, we’re getting older. I need to propose to you and tie the knot before it’s too late.”

“Right, because you’ve got so much competition.”

“Have you seen yourself? I feel like people can look at you once and be ready to propose.”

Harry groaned. “You say this like I’d just say yes to random strangers.”

“I know you won’t, but I can’t take my chances,” Louis mulled. “So, just marry me, okay?”

Harry turned around until he was looking up at Louis. “Did you just propose to me?”

Louis blinked. “I did do that, yeah.”

“Oh, no, Lou. You’re not getting away with a throwaway proposal. You need to do better than this. I want a whole big thing. Not a question thrown in while we’re watching Nick at Nite.” Harry huffed despite the smile on his face, turning back to the TV.

“But Harry,” Louis prodded, grinning as he poked his cheek in a teasing manner. “I love you. Isn’t that enough reason to just accept my proposal?”

“No. I want it be a big moment, like a grand romance scene in rom coms. I want a ring and music in the background and I want everyone we know to be there. Thanks in advance.”

“I’ve got quite a demanding boyfriend,” Louis mused.

“I’m not that demanding. I do nice things for you sometimes.”

“Name one.”

“I let you eat my Greek yogurt even though you make fun of me for buying them when we go grocery shopping.”

Louis stilled for a moment before bursting out laughing. He leaned down, kissing Harry’s ear, and continued to play with his hair. “Point. I concede.”

**★**

Three years ago, Louis’ mom decided she wanted to throw a massive block party that started from her house and extended out to all their neighbours. Anyone and everyone was invited, and it was age appropriate for all groups. Kids got bouncy castles, ice cream, and the freedom to run around as much as they wanted while adults lounged about by the pool, ate delicious barbeque, and drank as much as they wanted after all the kids went to sleep. When the first one became a success, it was a no brainer for Johannah to make it a yearly thing.

Harry and Louis came every year. They loved it, especially Harry who got to help Johannah prepare for it. He was always in charge of doing the shopping and setting up. Meanwhile Johannah spread the word and made sure everything was going accordingly. This year, to Harry’s surprise, Liam and Zayn came down to Northridge for it. Apparently Louis knew they were coming, but wanted to keep it a secret, so when Harry saw the two boys walking up Louis’ driveway while he was bringing out marinated chicken drums, he almost dropped the platter to go over and hug them.

“I’m so mad you didn’t tell me,” Harry said, kicking out at Louis while still hanging onto Liam like a koala.

“No, you’re not,” Louis said, easily dodging him. “You’re pleased.”

“I am pleased,” Harry hummed, hiding his face in Liam’s neck. “How long are you guys staying?”

“I’m only here for the weekend,” Liam said. “But Zayn’s sticking out for a week.”

“Got a long break between projects,” Zayn informed him.

“I want to hear all about them,” Harry said, finally letting go of Liam and leading Zayn away toward the food station. While Zayn prattled on about the offers he was getting to work on magazines and graphic websites, Harry helped start the barbeque. After handing it off to Robin and Dan, he led Zayn away to grab a drink. There were lemonades of all flavors being served and Harry opted for the pink one.

“So yeah,” Zayn said once he finished. “That’s what I’ve been up to. Tell me about you. How has life been after graduation?”

Harry pursed his lips together from the sour taste of his drink. “It’s okay. I’m sort of taking time to figure things out, I guess. There’s a lot you can do with a Sociology degree, just haven’t decided what it is I’ll do yet. But I’m not in a rush.”

Zayn nodded with a small smile on his face. “And Louis?”

Harry shrugged casually. “He hasn’t said anything, but we have to talk about it. We haven’t even gotten a place of our own yet.”

“Yeah, I get that.”

Shortly after, Liam came over to take Zayn to meet some old friends they used to hang out with back in high school. Harry took that opportunity to seek out Louis. He searched the whole yard and even went back out front, but couldn’t find him. As he made his way to the backyard, starting to get worried about where his boyfriend was, his mom pulled him into a conversation with some of her book club friends. They were reading the new Joan Didion book and Harry wanted all the spoilers.

“We haven’t gotten to the ending yet, though,” Anne told him after they filled him in on the details.

“Well when are you reading it? I need to know what happens!” Harry exclaimed, making all the ladies laugh. He shot them all a charming dimpled grin, one that they all cooed at, reaching over to squeeze his cheeks.

Harry caught Zayn walking in through the backyard doors, his eyes rolling upon seeing Harry surrounded by middle aged woman, all of them coddling him. “Where’ve you been? Louis’ looking for you,” he asked.

“I’ve been looking for Louis!” Harry said, standing up. “Where is he?”

“Up in the treehouse,” Zayn replied.

Harry couldn’t help but frown. Why was Louis up in their old treehouse? Harry couldn’t remember the last time they’d gone up there. It was mostly used by Louis’ younger siblings now. He excused himself from the group, walking along a line of trees until he made it to the backyard. It seemed everyone had arrived, the crowd thick but not as loud as he would have expected it to be. Liam and Niall were huddled over the stereo system, looking at one of their iPhones, but not playing any music.

“Aren’t you going up to meet Louis?” Harry’s mom asked, appearing behind him and giving him a little push.

He frowned harder, growing suspicious, but passed the crowds of people to the treehouse. He could see Louis peeking out through the window and wanted to laugh at the absurdity of it all. When he made it up the ladder, he could hear the beginning notes of “Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now” by Starship playing.

“Lou,” Harry said laughing once he reached him. Louis looked sheepish, hair mussed over his forehead and shirt stretched over his shoulder from how tight the treehouse had become. “What are you doing up here?”

“Just thought I’d see what the view was like from here now. It’s been a minute,” Louis responded nonchalantly.

“It has,” Harry nodded, looking down at everyone. They were all looking back up at him and he remembered how weird they were all being. “Wait, what’s going on? Everyone’s acting strange.”

“Are they?” Louis furrowed his brows. “Huh.”

“Lou,” Harry deadpanned. “What are you doing?”

Harry could feel his stomach start to turn, but not in an unpleasant way, never like that when he was with Louis. He just knew something big was about to happen, but he didn’t want to guess and be wrong. That would, weirdly enough, hurt because even though he was not sure about his future, he was sure about Louis. He was always sure that they’d end up together, wherever they ended up.

Louis chuckled nervously, reaching behind his back and pulling out a small velvet box. Harry held his breath, lips parting in shock, as he stared at it. Louis watched him with a smile as wide as could be, eyes shining like pretty lights.

“Harry Styles,” he began.

“Oh my God,” Harry breathed out.

Louis laughed brightly, shifting around a bit so that he was on his knees. “You are my best friend, my person, and the love of my life. There isn’t anything on this planet that you could want and I wouldn’t get for you. That night when I asked you to marry me, I was one hundred percent serious about it. But you wanted a grand gesture straight out of a rom com film with music playing in the background while all our loved ones were present. You also wanted a ring. And like I said, whatever you want, I’ll do for you. So here it is. Everything you wanted.”

“Louis,” Harry said softly. His eyes were welling up. Not just from happiness and sheer shock that this was happening now, but for the amount of love he had for this boy and the fierce way he loved Harry back. He could feel his emotions consuming  him, seeping out and wanting to wrap around Louis until they were stuck together as one.

“Harry,” Louis mimicked teasingly, his cheeks flushed. “Will you marry me?”

“Yes, I will,” Harry responded without missing a beat. “Absolutely, one thousand percent yes.”

Louis smiled giddily, practically falling onto Harry as their lips crashed together. Below them, the love song continued to play while everyone cheered loudly, looking up at them with fond expressions. In the midst of the kiss, Louis managed to slip the ring on Harry’s finger, and he let himself cry from how happy he was. Louis was everything he’d wanted since he was four years old. Taking this next step with him felt right and perfect.

**★**

It was obvious to both Harry and Louis after their engagement that they didn’t want to wait too long. Neither wanted anything extravagant, but rather something simple within their small town where everyone who knew them could come. So, Anne and Johannah took it upon themselves to plan it all. Of course Harry wasn’t giving up all control. He wanted to be there during the cake tasting, flower picking, and venue choosing. Louis told Harry he was okay with whatever Harry wanted to do as long as he let Louis choose the first dance song.

“Did you have something in mind?” Harry asked when they were both lying in his bed one night. Harry had gone to book the venue earlier that day and there was a lot of walking involved during the tour, so his feet were aching. Louis, being the best fiance ever, offered to give him a foot massage.

For the venue, they’d settled on a nice garden with a lake on one side and a picturesque bridge over it that would be excellent for pictures. For the reception, they would put up a tent and somehow try to fit everyone in there, but just in case, they were also going to put park tables and benches outside as well and keep the entry ways open. The wedding was coming together so nicely and it was only two weeks away. The thought made Harry giddy and ecstatic.

“Yeah,” Louis smiled. “A song that I think you’ll love.”

“Okay, but then why are you choosing it if it’s something that I’ll specifically love?”

“Because I live to please you, baby. Plus, I’m pretty sure you have thought about it, but may have forgotten it after all this time, and I just want to surprise you.”

“Oh, so I won’t know the song until the moment it plays?”

“Nope,” Louis grinned. He seemed really pleased with himself and Harry decided to let him have it. He liked being surprised sometimes and the thought of it was kind of fun.

Over the next two weeks, preparations came to a high. Every day there was something new to take care of, whether it was suits for Harry and Louis or figuring out the menu. And to keep things fair between the three boys, Niall decided he wanted to be the one to marry them, so he met with the local Church pastor to figure out how to go about getting an ordination certificate. Meanwhile, Liam was Harry’s best man and Zayn was Louis’. As the days crept closer and things were finally being settled, the festivities started, but not just for Louis and Harry.

Gemma thought it’d be funny if the two of them slept away from each other final three days, which meant Louis would go back to his family across the street. She claimed that it was bad luck for spouses to be together right before the wedding and some things needed to stay like tradition. Harry wasn’t into that idea because he liked being cramped in his small, childhood bed with Louis. Louis still left after giving Harry a long kiss on his front porch, and Harry was only pouting for a few hours before remembering he was going to be marrying that man in less than three days and then he wouldn’t have to say bye to him ever again.

The day of the wedding, breakfast was spent eating bagels in the car, as Harry, Gemma, Gemma’s fiance Michael Anne, and Robin rode to the venue. They were amongst the first there along with Harry’s dad, Des, and his wife. Des and Robin took Harry to a small room within the information center at the garden to get ready while Anne and Gemma made sure everything else was running smoothly. Harry changed into his suit and sat in front of a mirror to fix his hair.

Liam walked in at some point and grinned when he saw Harry. “Hey, big guy. Nervous?” He’d come back for the wedding ceremony and brought Sophia along with him.

“Me?” Harry frowned with a smile on his face. “Nervous? About what? Marrying the love of my life since I was four? Not likely.”

“God, you two are nauseating and cute at the same time,” Liam said, sitting down on a chair beside Harry. “Honest, though. How’re you feeling?”

“Good,” Harry replied contently. “I’m excited. Feels like I’ve been waiting for this day for so long and now that it’s here, I’m just sort of excited to get on with it, you know? Just want to call Louis my husband already.”

“I think you’ve been calling him your husband since you were a wee teen, H.”

“Can’t argue with you there,” Harry responded, thinking back to the times he’d written Harry Tomlinson in his school notebooks. “How’s everything looking out there?”

“It’s good. Weather is perfect. Louis’ arrived with his whole family and the guests are probably going to come in a few. It’s going to be packed considering you invited the whole damn town.”

“We know too many people, Li. We had to invite everyone,” Harry shrugged. It was true. When the couple sat down with their families to decide on a guest list, it had somehow ended up becoming a town event where everyone wanted to come and be there for Louis and Harry on their special day. They didn’t mind since everyone was pitching in for the budget.

As time passed, Zayn and Niall popped in to see Harry as well, but Harry really wanted to see Louis. It’d been three days and he was getting real tired of this not seeing his fiance thing. He couldn’t remember the last time they’d been separated this long. Finally, at a quarter past two, it was time for Harry to walk down the aisle. He walked out with his family beside him and noticed Louis and his family were getting ready to line up and walk down the aisle as well. Harry tried to make eye contact with Louis, but Lottie was fixing his hair, so he wasn’t aware.

He was just about to call for Louis, but Gemma made him stand in his spot on the line they’d formed while his mom came around to his side and held his hand. She beamed at him and he found himself relaxing despite the jittery butterflies in his stomach. Piano notes started to drift through the air, motioning the wedding party to start coming down the aisle.

Pair by pair they all walked in slow steps. Harry was busy watching the guests and their reactions to see anything else and when it was finally his turn, his heart rate sped for a moment. This was it. The moment he’d been waiting for. Then his eyes zeroed in on Louis, who was stood at the other end of aisle wearing a crisp black suit, white button up, and green tie, matching Harry aside from his own blue bow tie. He looked gorgeous. Louis smiled at him slowly and Harry felt momentarily paralyzed. It wasn’t until his mom tugged at his sleeve did he start moving.

Eyes locked on Louis, he walked the few remaining steps toward him, barely registering the hug and kiss his mom gave him with happy tears in her eyes, mirroring Johannah who was sitting in the first row of seats. Louis stepped toward Harry, taking his hand and leading him over to the center of the altar with Niall between them. When it came time for their speeches, Louis opted to go first.

“Harry,” Louis began. “There isn’t a more romantic or poetic way to say this, but I believe wholeheartedly that you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I knew it from the moment I met you on that playground when were six and four that you’d be someone I’d move mountains for. Over the years, we grew up together and went through so much, but ultimately, I’d always hoped you’d choose me because the thing is, you are so special and I don’t think you realize that.

“The other week, I told you that I needed to marry you before somebody else swooped in and you laughed it off, saying there could never be anyone else. I don’t think you understand that I did mean that. People would be so stupid to not fall for you. I feel like the entire world is in love with you sometimes, but I also know I’m the only one lucky enough to be able to tell you and be loved by you. You are the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. Thank you for coming into my life eighteen years ago and thank you for staying.”

Harry was paralyzed again, unable to move or do anything other than stare at the man in front of him. He had tears in his eyes and he could hear sniffles from the crowd. Louis reached over and touched his hand, and only then did Harry realize his hands were shaking. Looking down, he opened up the small piece of paper where he’d written his own speech.

With a shaky voice, Harry began, “Louis, I don’t think I remember anything in my life before you came into it. When I met you, you instantly became my favorite person in the entire world. I remember I ran home that day and told my family that they had to meet you. Everyone had to meet you because I’d met my soulmate and I really wanted to show him off.” A few people laughed and Louis beamed at Harry.

Harry continued, “With you, I’d shared everything. You were my first kiss, my first love, my first _everything_. There isn’t enough words in the dictionary to explain to you what you do to me. A cliche way to say it would be that you make my heart race, but you don’t just do that. You give me a heart attack looking like you do. To go off of what you said...you might think that the whole world is in love with me or that there are so many other options for me, but to me there is only you. I am so in love you that there isn’t anything else. It’s always you. Lou.”

After Harry’s speech, there wasn’t a dry eye in the place. Louis looked flushed, eyes red with tears in them. Niall cleared his throat before speaking. “Louis, do you take Harry as your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?”

“I do,” Louis said, beaming.

Niall grinned. “And Harry, do you take Louis as your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?”

Harry took a deep breath, sighing in relief. “I do.”

“I now pronounce you husband and husband. You may now kiss.”

Harry’s heart stuttered, leaning forward and into the arms of the man of his dreams. Louis’ lips were tender and warm while his arms held Harry close. He broke the kiss once everyone cheered and got up from their seats, and pressed his temple against Harry’s.

“I love you so much,” he whispered.

“I love you,” Harry whispered back.

Harry and Louis walked hand in hand down the aisle again and to the back room where they made out against the door, unable to keep their hands off of each other. They wanted to give their guests ample time to get the reception party started, so they quickly dropped their pants and exchanged hand jobs, lips pressed tight together as they tried to keep it quiet. It was desperate, but passionate, a testament after that emotional moment where they laid their hearts out for each other in front of everyone.

By the time they made it back out, faces ruddy and pink, everyone was on their way to becoming drunk. However, they did receive a few knowing looks from their friends and family, who tutted at them with grins on their faces. Niall, Liam, and Zayn both got up at the podium and announced that it was time for the first dance. Louis led Harry to the dance floor and the opening notes to “My Heart Will Go On” started to play.

“Louis,” Harry breathed out, a shocked expression on his face. “You didn’t…”

“Of course, I did,” Louis said, pressing a kiss to his cheek, and leading him into the dance.

Harry couldn’t help but laugh in disbelief, hiding his face in the crook of Louis’ neck. “You’re the best. Did you know that?”

“I’ve been told. I mean, who else would dance to this cheesy thing on their wedding, right?”

“Hey. This song is a classic. It _defines_ romance.”

“Alright, alright. I know better than to question your immense dedication to _Titanic_.”

Harry huffed before staring into Louis’ eyes lovingly. “Thank you.”

Louis smiled, kissing him on the lips lightly, and closed his eyes. Harry did the same, losing himself to the song and the moment.

**★**

They went to Hawaii for their honeymoon. Louis thought it was corny and unoriginal, since almost everyone goes there for their honeymoon, but Harry disagreed. He said Hawaii was beautiful and he had always wanted to go. So who was Louis to deny his boy?

Their day time activities mainly consisted of sightseeing and engaging in adrenaline inducing adventures, like zip lining. Right before sunset, they returned to the small house they had rented for the week with a beach in the backyard. It was gorgeous and cozy. The two of them laid side by side over the sand and listened to The Beach Boys until the sun set. It was all very relaxing and Louis was glad they saved up enough to be able to do this.

On the fourth night, they decided to try and lay on the hammock tied to the two palm trees trees behind their house. Harry was adamant they’d both fit on it, but Louis was sure it would break.

“It won’t,” Harry insisted, curling into Louis, who was rigid beside him. “Just relax.”

“I’m not doubting the strength of these trees. I’m doubting this fabric. It could rip with us straight through it.”

Harry gave a muffled laugh, his face squished against Louis’ bare chest. “Why would they put this here in a honeymoon house if they didn’t expect the couple to be on it together?”

“Beats me,” Louis mumbled. He felt Harry’s hands stroking over his stomach, trailing lower and lower before stopping over his bulge. Louis gulped as Harry cupped him, rolling his palm softly.

“Let me relax you, babe. You’re so tense right now.”

Harry’s hand reached inside his shorts where he stroked Louis until he became hard. His thumb swiped over the tip of the head, letting the precome dribble down as lubricant for more smoother strokes. Louis was trying to keep his breaths steady, but he was failing, his chest rising and falling rapidly. As Harry started tugging his shorts down, Louis stopped him.

“We’re outside,” he reminded Harry.

“No one will see,” Harry whispered, grinning mischievously while sitting up and crawling over to the end of the hammock until he was face to face with Louis’ crotch. Pulling his shorts off, Harry gripped Louis’ cock in his fist, pumping it while Louis let out soft gasps under him. “You look so hot, Louis. Fuck. I am so lucky. Wanna blow you and have you come in my mouth.”

Louis nodded desperately, wanting that as well, and lifted his head up to watch as Harry sunk down, lips enveloping him. “Oh, _fuck_ ,” Louis moaned. “That feels amazing.” His hands grabbed a fistful of Harry’s long, brown hair, steadying himself while Harry bobbed his head up and down, tongue wet and heady. He was sitting on his haunches now, looking up at Louis periodically, as though he was checking to see if Louis was enjoying this or not. His mouth was wet heat and Louis was so fucking close.

With Harry’s lips pursed over the tip, suckling the head, Louis writhed on the hammock at the sensation, his moans growing louder. It only spurred Harry on and he took Louis down deeper, humming around him. Louis yelped, nearly sitting up, and suddenly they were both on the sandy ground with a loud thump.

The two of them sat in silence as they looked to see that the hammock did, in fact, rip right through, unable to hold their weight with all that activity. Louis turned to face Harry and saw a sheepish grin on his husband’s face. “Did I or did I not call this?” Louis asked.

“I can’t argue with you anymore, can I? You were right, I admit,” Harry retorted, standing up. In a swift move, he lifted Louis off of the ground, holding him bridal style.

Louis squawked, dick still painfully hard between his legs. “What the fuck are you doing now?”

“Finishing what I started,” Harry replied, kissing his cheek.

He walked them to their bedroom, which had floor to ceiling windows, overlooking the pretty beach. Harry didn’t bother with the lights, laying Louis down on the bed, and crawling up his body and kissing him. Louis cupped Harry’s face, spreading his legs so that Harry was able to settle over him. They kissed until their lips felt numb, throbbing at the constant back and forth. Louis’ hips grinded up against Harry’s, whose hard cock was still trapped in his shorts.

“Get these off and fuck me,” Louis said, voice barely above a whisper. Harry grinned, ducking down to kiss him on the lips again, and then his lips trailed down Louis’ bare, tanned torso. When he reached his cock, he gave him a few pumps and sucked the tip once before moving over to reach for the lube on the side table where they’d left it from the night before.

He was three fingers deep when Louis begged him to stop and to get inside him before he came. Heart racing and hands shaking, he waited while Harry slicked himself up and started to push inside Louis. When he bottomed out, they both panted heavily, watching each other with hooded eyes. Louis pushed aside Harry’s hair from his face and tipped his head up for a wet, smooth kiss.

Their hips moved in perfect practice together. At this point, their bodies were so attuned to each other and knew exactly how to move to feel good. Louis had been on the brink of coming twice now, and his body was shaking from it. As he neared his climax once again, he started moaning, louder than before. Harry thrusted into him just right, hitting his prostate every time. He moved a hand between their bodies to wrap it around Louis, stroking him until he finally came, come dripping over Harry’s hand and both their chests.

“Keep going,” Louis slurred, eyes closing from exhaustion. “I want you to come in me.”

Harry groaned in pleasure, hiding his face in the crook of Louis’ neck. He kissed his skin, sucking it between his lips, and breaking the skin until a bruise bloomed. Louis’ hands were all over him, stroking, prodding, and squeezing. He placed his palms over Harry’s butt, pushing him forward, and then let one finger trail down the middle before rubbing over his hole. Slowly, he pushed it inside, not going further, and that was when Harry came.

His body trembled over Louis’; filling him up before he finally pulled out. They both lay side by side, breathing heavily until the rolled toward each other; smiling contently and blissfully in love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> how fluffy n cute was that?:)))))  
>   
> [fic post](http://butyouneverdo.tumblr.com/post/171138396350/fic-like-pretty-lights-author-wildestdreams) / [tumblr](http://butyouneverdo.tumblr.com)


	5. eighty-seven and eighty-nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Harry looked at him and their gazes met, Louis’ eyes were bright, shining like pretty lights, and Harry was still so in love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ah, at last! thank you so much for reading this and being patient as i took literal years to complete it. i hope it was worth the wait. love u guys!
> 
> big love to a as well for betaing.

The blue yarn that Harry had gotten from the store was exactly the shade of Louis’ eyes. A soft, bright blue that wasn’t easy to come by. Harry searched a few different stores before he was able to find it. Now, he was finally knitting the scarf he’d been meaning to for the other man. The weather was going to get colder soon and Harry wanted Louis to be warm. He looked up and saw the aforementioned man completely engrossed in the daily newspaper. They were both sitting out on the front porch since it was nice out, the sun shining and birds chirping. There wasn’t a single cloud in the sky and the breeze was just right.

Harry and Louis ended up moving to Harry’s mom’s place with their kids, a boy named Declan and a girl named Melody. They didn’t change much, but the porch got a paint job, the rickety stairs were a lot steadier, the bluebells in the front garden were joined by some tulips and daffodils, and the curtains were upgraded because Harry didn’t like the old shade of yellow as much as his mom did. Louis’ family still lived across the street and they met almost everyday. Everything had turned out exactly as Harry pictured it when he was younger. He got to spend his life with Louis and growing old with him was just as special and wonderful.

Louis let out a sigh, rubbing at his eyes. “What’s wrong, babe?” Harry asked, frowning in concern.

“My eyesight is going. I can’t read this paper for shit,” he grumbled.

“I’ve told you so many times to get glasses,” Harry tutted. “You’re just too embarrassed to admit you need them.”

Louis pouted, putting the paper down and checking his watch. “When are the kids arriving? The game’s going to start soon. Packers better win, otherwise Declan might lose it.”

“I know,” Harry nodded. “Last time they all came for the game, he was so tense every time the other team scored. I think they’re due to arrive in a bit, though.”

It was tradition for Harry and Louis’ kids to bring their families over during Packers games. Declan got married a few years back and had three children with his wife, Ira. Melody was bringing her husband, George, and their baby boy as well. Harry was glad they kept this tradition alive. After all, they raised Declan and Melody in this house, rocking them on this very front porch. The kids also used to often run across the street to Louis’ family’s house, where they played in that same treehouse that they never had the heart to take down.

Every corner of this neighborhood held a memory. Harry couldn’t look anywhere without feeling nostalgia. For example, sitting where he was, his mind drifted back to a game he and Louis watched almost seventy years ago. The other boys had come as well and afterward, Louis and Harry snuck away to the porch where they’d shared a kiss. The kiss that really solidified that they wanted their love to blossom. Smiling, Harry glanced up at his husband, watching as he stood up and walked to the railing, looking out into the street, so eager for their kids and grandchildren to come. Harry followed, beaming as Louis reached for him with his hand. He leaned forward, placing a soft kiss on Louis’ cheek, holding him in a hug.

When Harry looked at him and their gazes met, Louis’ eyes were bright, shining like pretty lights, and Harry was still so in love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [fic post](http://butyouneverdo.tumblr.com/post/171248522545/fic-like-pretty-lights-author-wildestdreams) / [tumblr](http://butyouneverdo.tumblr.com)


End file.
